Pen's out of ink...what to do?

[The Comeback Kid]

As you could figure out from the title, this has to do with one of those "dipping your pen in the company ink" situations.

I've recently noticed a HB7.5 at my summer internship. Although the company isn't enormous in physical employee size (about 100 people), she doesn't work in my department. I do pass by her desk somewhat often during the day though.

Because we're in a professional working environment and I'm usually running all over the place, I haven't really been showing much game. If I were to come on strongly enough for someone besides her to notice and possibly stir up rumors or drama, that would not be good.

With that in mind, nothing close to spectacular has happened so far. We met a few weeks ago, but now I'm seeing her regularly around the office since things are picking up (things were much quieter between then and now). I caught wind that it was her birthday a few days ago, so when I did pass by her desk, I wished her a happy birthday and threw in a little joke too. The next day, I stopped to say hi for a moment as I was passing her desk (I see people walk past her all day and not say anything, I figured I'd break the trend). Today, she started off by waving to me from across the cafeteria as we were walking to different places. Later on, we talked for a minute or so - it was more smalltalk than anything else, but I was able to throw in some C+F. She seems pretty cool and we've been talking a little more each day this week, but I don't know her real well yet.

Yes, I know this is going painfully slow. It's torturing me! If this were at school or (especially) out at night one weekend, I'd be moving a LOT faster and would probably be making a move right about now. However, I can't move things as quickly as I'd like because of the whole internship thing. The whole office will be rather isolated for about three weeks soon due to our big event (we're moving to a not-in-session college campus a few hours away and will be staying there for the duration). The positive out of this is that I can progress things along more easily since I'll see her a lot. The negative is that I'll be working pretty hard during the day at this time too, to the point I'll be exhausted each night.

Right now, not much has happened at all (obviously). While I wish I could move things more quickly and perhaps ask her out for an after-work drink or something like that, I don't know if I should be trying to get with a girl who I work with and will see every day. There are pros, but also some lingering cons. What do you guys think?

 

[drak_ool]

usually i would say no, the drama that comes with it is not worth it. Also, you put yourself in a situation where you can't just cut her loose, sort of cornering yourself, which is never a good thing to do...

however, you said this was a summer internship, which makes me thing you ll be done with it in about a month? So even if things go horribly wrong, you won't have to deal with the s.hit for too long...

in the end it s just a cost/benefit analysis, like anything else: the hotter she is, the less you care about the risks, and vice versa.

I'm actually looking at a similar situation with a secretary at my summer internship, so let me know how you work it out.

good luck!

 

[jophil28]

If I were you I would just walk up to her in the cafeteria/carpark and introduce myself (in a professional manner ) and ask for her personal email. If she asks why, tell her that you will answer that question by email . Be confident but not pushy.
The trick is to amp up her IL, and you need to do it without being publicly obvious on company time.
Email allows you to be playful and interesting while remaining a little mysterious.
Don't miss this opportunity.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

I appreciate the advice so far. I realize it's been almost a week since the last post on this thread, but I wanted to see how things progressed over the subsequent few days (plus I was tied up with long hours at work).

As I wrote before, using "game" at work...not easy. If my peers and bosses could detect that I was hitting on her, that wouldn't be good publicity. Moreso, if it doesn't work out, I will still run into her. Lately, it's been picking up a little, but it's really more of the same in terms of pace. I'm not moving nearly as quickly as I would in school or when I'm out (due to the reasons above), but we have talked more. Today, I had to help drop off a few boxes by where she was working, so there was a some small talk in there. We've spoken more as of late, but nothing real special or noteworthy.

My internship lasts three months, but I'm entering the most action-packed (and fun) month real soon. We are temporarily moving our offices a few hours away to work a big event. Where we are going will definitely be more secluded, so maybe we can hang out sometime when we're not constantly working.

To be honest, I feel gaming at an internship has a completely different set of rules as when you're in school/class or when you're out at a bar/club/etc. It's much more of a tightrope act where you need to do your work BEFORE trying to pursue girls who could be interesting. Also, a girl can be crazy and slap some sexual harassment charge on you, and then you're fvcked. My boss, who wouldn't seem to be all that concerned if something did happen, told the interns in my department that if any "funny business" happens when we're away, it will spread like wildfire (she feels we'll act like high schoolers lol).

If I had to evaluate things so far, there are some pros and cons. The positives are that I've been gaining more and more confidence when it comes to walking up to her desk and just creating conversation, I've been a little smoother than usual when it comes to holding that conversation, and I'm not too nervous (we all get some butterfiles lol). The final "pro" is that, in a place where interns stick to their own departments, I'm stepping outside those boundaries and am trying to get to know others when I have the chance (as I've done with this girl). As for the negatives, I realized I'm starting the majority of the conversations (which possibly shows where the interest is coming from) - then again, based on where we are I pass her desk often while she doesn't need to pass the office where I am. Most importantly, I can't be quite as outgoing or over-the-top like I normally am because of the whole internship thing.

I do have her Facebook/email, so I'll probably send her some quick C&F post over the next couple of days. It's good to keep things going, see if it amounts to anything.

 

[jafyk]

Something I'd like to add is. Be careful about e-mailing her. Some companies can read employees e-mail especially if it's done on company time. Since you have her facebook. Chat her up and get her # then. Then set up a time outside of work perhaps during the weekend where u guys can do something.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Something I'd like to add is. Be careful about e-mailing her. Some companies can read employees e-mail especially if it's done on company time. Since you have her facebook. Chat her up and get her # then. Then set up a time outside of work perhaps during the weekend where u guys can do something.

That's a good point Jafyk. I plan on contacting her when I'm home from work for that reason (and also because we can't access Facebook from the office ). I can start off with a C&F comment and see if anything goes from there. This event we are working is going to consist of a lot, we're even working on the weekends (early in the day too)! I'll see what I can set up, but it may have to require a small number of other interns who I also get along with (or people will get suspicious!).