Partner keeps getting hit on - reaction

[DunSweat]

Hey all. Simple issue but now don't know how to maintain my cool. My partner is attractive and besides everything else, she's overall a much better person then many that came before her. First few months of dating and hearing of her getting cold approached didn't bother me but now it's starting to. I have sussed her out and it isn't her doing as far as I know for instance, one dude saw her at a friend's birthday get together and then started stalking her intensely until I got involved which I rarely do because a woman can handle that sh1t without me having to stress.

Recently some buddies told me that a lot of guys talk about her and some tried to pick her up before I did. I know this is the life of a good looking girl but I need tips on how to either approach the constant pick up/stalking attempts or how to deal within my own self.

I have directly talked to her about this and told her that if I hear she leads on even in the most 'innocent' way then she's gone but from all I know, it just comes down to wannabe PUA testing their skills on her in what seems all the fcking time.

 

[Tictac]

You must have 'hit on her' yourself or you wouldn't be with her.

But that was okay, wasn't it.

Your confidence is the issue. This has little to nothing to do with her.

 

[MattTheW]

I knew I read something about this before.


read this

 

[Greasy Pig]

Happened to me on Saturday night. I just assume the demeanour of a man who knows those other chumps are no competition and if she thinks they are, she's gone.

 

[hudpes]

Perfect answers in that thread, Matthew.

If you interfere, you assume the psychological role of a parent to speak for a child that was asked if they wanted some candy by a shady guy in a white van. The woman is not a child and you are not her parent. She should know what is happening (the guy is not just talking to her, but is hitting on her) and should have the mental capacity to objectively assess the situation.

If she flirts back, then something is terribly wrong, she's either testing you, or she's reaching for the forbidden fruit WHILE the god is watching. Did god stop Eve? You see, the biggest player of all, did nothing and let things go over the top.

If she doesn't flirt, but also doesn't offer resistance, she is just enjoying the game knowing that the AFC talking to her will leave empty handed. This is fine and quite normal, the disqualifying factors are anything of substance, any contact, number, FB, agreeing for a drink. However if the guy escalates and his flirting becomes utterly obvious, she should end the conversation asap and go to you.

Understanding that you do not own your significant other, nor the relationship you two have going, will give freedom to you and to your SO. The magic trick here is if she feels free to do anything she won't do anything, but if you try and build a castle around her and defend against anything that comes even close, she will be naturally inclined to escape.