Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Oxide tries using online game. Realizes he doesn't have it.

Oxide

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This is a girl that is a friend of a friend. We went to Chicago on a school trip, and she came along. Nothing really happened besides talking for a bit with her and a friend. I decide to follow up because the girl is hot and has amazing fake tits.

(I was driving a red van for the trip)

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Today:

Her: Again... dont worry dear... i did not assume we where going to do ANYthing...........
wierdo :p

see ya 'round



Message History
04.29.06 8:24pm Me: Of course not, i want you to just be my friend.
It's funny how a woman likes to assume we are going to have sex, when i still didnt get to know her better or even know what she can offer me besides her looks. Beautiful girls are everywhere, and for me there have got to be other things in the mix besides looks.

04.29.06 8:05pm Me: Of course not, i want you to just be my friend.
It's funny how a woman likes to assume we are going to have sex, when i still didnt get to know her better or even know what she can offer me besides her looks. Beautiful girls are everywhere, and for me there have got to be other things in the mix besides looks.

04.29.06 8:48am Her: lol dont worry dear. im not hitting on you.. hahhaa
04.29.06 4:12am Me: Haha you are so observant, just like Nancy Drew, do you go through my messages with a comb too?!!
"Dating" is what girls try to call it after a couple of good times we spend together. So now i tell them what i tell you right off the bat - we can have fun but i will be seeing other people.


04.27.06 2:11pm Her: lol nice... thought you said you didnt "date" people?.. haha at least i thought thats what i heard when me and nikki where seeing if you where still alive after your crazy night... hahaah jkjk
04.27.06 12:57pm Me: Silly girl, what i meant was ,like i told you, that while some girls think i am fun, exciting and awesome, I am also selfish, straightforward and dominant. For example - I dated Lisa last summer - she was a good girl like yourself, what ended up happening is she would drive to my house at 1 am, she would come home late so her parents were mad, she didnt spend enough time with her boyfriend, she started getting more sexual in public.
Good girls are just too inoocent for this kind of stuff, and i like bad girls.

04.27.06 10:47am Her: ahhh...??? ok if you say so?..... why do you talk yourself down so much?
04.26.06 11:57pm Me: Haha, whatever, that is like winning special olympics. Her, me and you would never get along, you are too much of a good girl for a jerk like me.

04.26.06 5:35pm Her: lol ok fine i give up :0)
04.26.06 5:03pm Me: Hahaha, Her, I can only use one leg, one arm and be blindfolded and it would still be NO CONTEST!!! As my good friend used to say "You Dont Want None!"
04.26.06 10:18am Her: .... is that a challenge?... ;-)
04.26.06 12:00am Me: hahaha, Yeah you need like 120 more points, plus i doubt very much that you can run or wrestle well enough to catch me anyway.

04.24.06 5:58pm Her: damnit... i guess im not an awesome girl... :-(
04.24.06 4:35pm Me: Yeah, they get a lot of attention. Haha, you wish you had a picture of them? You'd have to catch me out of the shower to get that pic, and that is reserved for awesome girls only!

04.24.06 3:33pm Her: you did have an awesome red van. AND awesome pajama pants.. i wish i had a picture of THOSE! hahaha they where HOT
04.24.06 3:16pm Me: Wow you are such a dork, I had an AWESOME red van, with reclining seats and sweet handling! Where is the picture of that?!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Juanito

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it was pretty good up to this point;

04.26.06 5:35pm Her: lol ok fine i give up :0)
04.26.06 5:03pm Me: Hahaha, Her, I can only use one leg, one arm and be blindfolded and it would still be NO CONTEST!!! As my good friend used to say "You Dont Want None!"

then you just kinda got too carried away lol:rock:
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Juanito said:
it was pretty good up to this point;

04.26.06 5:35pm Her: lol ok fine i give up :0)
04.26.06 5:03pm Me: Hahaha, Her, I can only use one leg, one arm and be blindfolded and it would still be NO CONTEST!!! As my good friend used to say "You Dont Want None!"

then you just kinda got too carried away lol:rock:
I agree. There's something to that two steps forward, one step back thing. Give her enough to pique her interest then step back and let her simmer at the edge of boiling for a bit (its a lot like sex). ;)
 

Oxide

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Hmm, that was right off the bat, so what would you guys follow at that point with?

Right now im thinking deciding between just giving her a week to miss me, or if i should just go directly into this point blank. In either case i dont care all too much.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Personally, I'd change the subject; switch gears on her. I don't know about the waiting a week for her to miss you. It may only take that long for her to forget about you depending on the impression you last made on her.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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