Overgaming Problems

[HereToImprove]

Yeesh, so in my tender field experience, I have come across an odd sticking point. Several times already in the field, I have had problems with overgaming/overqualifying. I was always worried about not DHV and supplication, and I have developed a nasty habit of girls saying the following types of things:

"I am intimidated by you"

"I don't know why you would go for me"

"I feel like I don't meet your standards"

"I am used to guys saying things to me that you don't say"

Bear in mind that these phrases are coupled with very strong IOIs and them pretty much begging me to call them, but I am worried that I had too strong of a frame and might put them off (thinking I am a player who just wants to check them off the list and that they are not good enough to stick with me).

Its the last SP I thought I would have as a rAFC, but its kinda messing with my game and setting a bad frame for dates. Does anyone have experience with overgaming and have any good ways to back it out to a more level pitch while still keeping her in my frame of having to chase me a bit?

 

[HereToImprove]

Nobody has ever had this happen? Come on guys.

 

[King of You]

So after they talk like that just be like "hail to the king, baby" and go in for a smooth kiss like Ash from Army of Darkness.

 

[HereToImprove]

I tried using a few compliments to back out of the overgaming a bit, and it worked some on one of my prospects, and got a day 2 for tomorrow. She is a solid 7-8 and I thought I would need some high octane game for her, but it just didn't work out that way. I felt she had really tossed me into the player pile and I may wind up SOL if I tried to move fast at all.

She was telling me about this guy she went out with last week who brought her flowers and candy on the first date and how she liked it! AFC! Note that she is going out with me now anyway....

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

Girls are able to usually sense players from a mile away. A lot of the stuff "DJs" use works because the girls let it work because they like the guy.

 

[JJMcLure]

Don't try to change who you are to "solve" this problem. You will lack congruency and won't look natural. Moreover if it doesn't work you'll wind up real confused.

However, if you are throwing a lot of "techniques" at these chicks, you can back them off SLIGHTLY.

These chicks clearly feel underqualified. What is better than lowering your game, is to QUALIFY the chick. It's a fine balance, because it's possible to go too far and have her feeling too good for you.

If you need more info search mASF for info on qualifying.

 

[So pimp its scary]

You might be going a little too deep on the neghits and c&f.

 

[animal crackers]

They probably don't feel qualified to be with you. You're this awesome guy, and they are just a little girl. Tell them why you like them besides that they are hot. Well, actually tell them that too.

It's not AFC to do this.

 

[Spirit Fingers]

Hey dude,

This is actually a very common problems for guys just learning game, that they come off as players at first. This is partially spread by the myths of TD and co. that if you "overgame" a chick and you think she's a player, that means you're "too cool" for her. Don't fall into that trap. If you overgame a girl, you messed it up. I know guys who are incredibly cool top level PUAs, and they are never "too cool" for a chick.

What you want to do in order to give off less of a player vibe is to qualify the girl well, to let her know that you like her in a SINCERE AND GENUINE way. This can be very hard for guys who are misogynists, or guys who actually are players who don't care about the girl. But, this is why it works, if you can be sincere and genuine, than she knows that you do care about her.

This is also reflected in the vibe you give off. The vibe you give off should not be "I don't need you, you are below me" it should be "I'm high value, and I like you, so I'm raising you up to my level."

-Dan