"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Overcoming Your Date's Ex

exwhyzee

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Last night I was out on my first date with this girl. We were eating dinner and I asked her if she had gone anywhere last year for spring break which ended up being a bad question because she started to explain how her ex dipped out on her at the last minute and how he is such a dbag etc. Literally as she says dbag her ex walks up and says 'Kate! How are you ?' she has a short exchange and he leaves, crazy timing eh?

Later on we go to a bar and sure enough the ex shows up again and starts dancing all over this girl. At this point I get a little uncomfortable because he keeps staring over at us. I try to keep the conversation going, but it never gets going shince this guy got back in her head. So I tried to distract her by saying lets go play pool/darts whatever she didnt really want to so I said lets leave. Walking home she keeps talking about him and what a jerk he is and how he sent her a txt...no suprise...like 5 minutes to her after we left the bar saying basically what a loser she is because of what a loser I am and that he hopes I break her heart.

I felt bad for her, and to be honest I saw a little bit of myself in her, since I recently had a bad breakup and my ex kinda haunted me for awhile too.

So the question is next time someone gets freaked out by an ex what should I do? Also dealing with this girl in the future how should I handle her when she starts thingking about it?


I figure leaving and going somewhere else is the most civil thing to do, unless things are going really well with the girl you could just rub it in the guys face, but even that is unnecessary. I know how she feels and how consuming those emotions can be, especially since it was the first date and she was very shy to begin with it was hard to get her to consume me rather than her ex.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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:nono: BOBTRG

('Nuff said)
 

young_gun

Master Don Juan
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Francisco d'Anconia said:
:nono: BOBTRG

('Nuff said)
Hahaha

I'm sure the ex was just doing that to try to make you jealous. I'm sure he was jealous that she was out with you. If she isn't over him yet, there might not be anything you can do. In that case, you'll probably just have to find another one.
 
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