Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety

[ghp]

When i was younger one of my first sexual experiences , with what would be my first gf, as a virgin i was damm nervous and anxious and ended up having problems getting it up, eventually at 2nd time everything went away.

Since then 10+y for all my adult life, i always worried whenever i knew someone new, for this reason i always ended up on LTR´s and avoided ONS.

Im a athletic, fit guy , and consider myself good between the sheets. Anyway im single again, and this **** kills my sexual confidence wherever i know new tail, and at times i wanted to be more agressive sexually i would back off.

Any story of how any of you overcomed this ?

 

[MtnMan]

well, its all in your head, but you can carry some viagra with you to use in case you need it. That should help your confidence.

 

[Tiguere]

Lots if foreplay.. Dont go straight to sticking it in. Kiss.... lick... Rub.... Make her massage your crotch. After a goodb15-20 mind of foreplay... The blood flow will become intense giving you a rock hard c0ck

 

[jurry]

Tough one for me as well.. Takes me a bit to get comfortable with a chick and the pressure of having to make it happen right then and there is difficult, as if she will walk out if i cant get it up lol. Its happened on numerous occasions and i think we make it out to be a way bigger deal than it is, just enjoy it and do other things until youve been with them longer. If youre the aggressive club hustler type of guy i feel like maybe that sh!t wouldnt fly, but im more of a slow moving introverted type and prefer to take my time getting to know girls a bit anyway. Maybe after u are a true dj and bang like 200 girls that fear just goes away.. Not really sure. Condom makes it way worse also.

 

[gravityeyelids]

Lots if foreplay.. Dont go straight to sticking it in. Kiss.... lick... Rub.... Make her massage your crotch. After a goodb15-20 mind of foreplay... The blood flow will become intense giving you a rock hard c0ck

This doesn't work. I know from experience. It's not a physical problem, it's a mental one. The junk works fine. As any guy knows, it takes all of like 30 seconds for a guy to get fired up and ready to go. It's a mental block. If you sit there and wait and try and do lots of foreplay it makes it worse because you get more and more inside your own head and as time goes on you worry "why am I not getting hard....cmon little guy...." and then you end up just getting frustrated and upset.

All the physical stimulation in the world won't help with performance anxiety...When I was having issues with this...I would get rock hard and ready to go very quickly..but if i didnt start having sex soon...it would start to go down and then i would worry about it going down, which would make it more limp, which makes you worry more...ad infinitum. Pretty soon you are so much into your own head that you're too embarrassed and basically give up.

One of the questions they ask to narrow it down is: Do you get morning wood regularly? If so, then it's mental, not physical.

I'm going to PM you a link to some useful stuff.

My advice? Get Cialis or Viagra. Even just having it on you, just in case, will help you immensely. Knowing that you can just go to the bathroom real quick when you're with a girl, pop one, chill/fool around for 20 mins and then be hard as a rock will likely make it so you rarely need to take one at all. Take one or just have one on you whenever you are going to bang a new girl, and then after a while, sex with new girls gets to be not such a big deal and you know you have the ability, so pretty soon you won't even need it anymore.

 

[ghp]

This doesn't work. I know from experience. It's not a physical problem, it's a mental one. The junk works fine. It's a mental block. If you sit there and wait and try and do lots of foreplay it makes it worse because you get more and more inside your own head and as time goes on you worry "why am I not getting hard....cmon little guy...." and then you end up just getting frustrated and upset.

All the physical stimulation in the world won't help with performance anxiety...When I was having issues with this...I would get rock hard and ready to go very quickly..but if i didnt start having sex soon...it would start to go down and then i would worry about it going down, which would make it more limp, which makes you worry more...ad infinitum.

One of the questions they ask to narrow it down is: Do you get morning wood regularly? If so, then it's mental, not physical.

I'm going to PM you a link to some useful stuff.

My advice? Get Cialis or Viagra. Even just having it on you, just in case, will help you immensely. Knowing that you can just go to the bathroom real quick when you're with a girl, pop one, chill/fool around for 20 mins and then be hard as a rock will likely make it so you rarely need to take one at all. Take one or just have one on you whenever you are going to bang a new girl, and then after a while, sex with new girls gets to be not such a big deal and you know you have the ability, so pretty soon you won't even need it anymore.

Spot on, in my case its a mental thing, i have no problem whatsoever after the first time, and im confident on my habilities to please women. And like gravity said its not a matter of foreplay.

I´ve tought i would outgrow this by now , but still lingers whenever im with a new Sexual partner.

I´ve tried Cialis but it gives me terrible headaches and makes me more anxious, havent tried Viagra.

 

[MtnMan]

My advice? Get Cialis or Viagra. Even just having it on you, just in case, will help you immensely. Knowing that you can just go to the bathroom real quick when you're with a girl, pop one, chill/fool around for 20 mins and then be hard as a rock will likely make it so you rarely need to take one at all. Take one or just have one on you whenever you are going to bang a new girl, and then after a while, sex with new girls gets to be not such a big deal and you know you have the ability, so pretty soon you won't even need it anymore.

i have used this technique. Its ALL mental, but knowing you have a backup might be enough to get over it.

And yes, condoms do make things worse from a physical stimulation standpoint and from an awkwardness standpoint.

It gets better with practice.

 

[gravityeyelids]

Spot on, in my case its a mental thing, i have no problem whatsoever after the first time, and im confident on my habilities to please women. And like gravity said its not a matter of foreplay.

I´ve tought i would outgrow this by now , but still lingers whenever im with a new Sexual partner.

I´ve tried Cialis but it gives me terrible headaches and makes me more anxious, havent tried Viagra.

Your dose might be too high. If it's the brand-name pills, sometimes as little as half of the 5mg is plenty. I actually havent tried Viagra either, i like cialis because that sh!t lasts like an entire weekend (seriously, like 48-72 hrs), while Viagra is supposed to be just for that night more or less

 

[Don-Kong]

I've answered this before. It's a very common issue for guys. I've helped tons of guys with this in therapy.
Anxiety needs exposure training.
For severe anxiety, people try hypnosis, meditation, guided visualisation, role-play and other things.
In practice, you take things slow and focus on sensation, almost like mindfulness. You relearn to enjoy by letting go.
Start exposure training now. If you want help with this PM me.

Pills are fine and are really effective to break the cycle. Many guys build confidence like this, but I recommend a dual strategy.