Opinions Appreciated

[TriumphX]

Whats up!

Long time browser here. I have a situation with a girl here that I want some opinions on.

I entered into an LDR with this girl 6 months ago; we were crazy for eachother. We talked many times a week, and texted everyday. She visited me several times and I her. During this time I have continued to keep 1 - 2 plates spinning without cheating.

After my last visit, I said a few things to her regarding the future of the relationship, and I didn't get back to her for about 4 days once I returned. As a result, she freaked out and pulled back. She stopped texting as much, no more I love you's, didn't respond to me on the phone (distant/unhappy), and said "we should take a step back." I asked her what was wrong and she wouldnt say anything.

Well **** me, I knew what that meant, and I called it off. She called me the next day and basically said that she coudlnt believe how this happened, and that she didnt want it to end. However, since we were both in the middle of studying for a major exam, and that she didnt want to worry about her feelings for me, that we should take a break until she came out here again (without seeing other people).

I agreed (I didnt want it to end), but I took all of this with a grain of salt. During the past month or so we have talked maybe once a week, but I treated the situation as if it were over. Sometimes she would say how much she missed me, and sometimes would just kinda blow me off. Either way, I didnt react much at all. In the meantime, I have been spinning plates, and studying. At some point, I told her that I want to see other people and that she could as well.

Recently, she called me and told me how much she really misses me, completely loves me (hasnt had these feelings since she was in high school bla bla bla), wants to **** the **** out of me, cherishes our connection, etc... Sidenote: she is still coming out here, ticket purchased, and we are going on a trip together.

Now, I didnt really respond and I told her that I dont really take her seirously. How can she go from blowing me off for a month to loving me so much again? Cliff notes on what she said: ive always loved you, when you shut me out I freaked out and you broke my heart a little, needed to study, dont tell me about other girls youre dating it hurts to hear etc...

Anyway, in the end I told her that I still love her but thats its different now, and that I wont be able to determine how I feel until we spend some time in person, but, that I am open to seeing what can happen between us, or ending it. She said "I understand."

Now to me, this is kinda how I see the situation: She freaked out, resented me, met some dude and probably hooked up/****ed him, realized that he doesnt hold a candle to me, and/or our trip is coming up, and wants to make things good with me before she comes.

My current mindset is that; should I even bother asking her if she hooked up with another dude before I said we could see other people? She'll just lie anyay and there is really no way I'll be able to tell for sure. Furthermore, do I really want to invest in a chick (despite us having a incredible connection), who at this first sign of trouble pulls back like that.

In the end, I think we will either continue the relationship, or I will keep her on the team for some pvssy in another port.

Thoughts?

 

[Greasy Pig]

Sounds like way too much drama. Healthy relationships need work but not constant maintenance.
Is she really worth it?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Is the long distance element of the relationship permanent? You should never take an LDR seriously. Date other women and don't tell her about it. And don't worry about what she does while away from you, because there is nothing you can do about it, and any hint of jealousy will be counterproductive.

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

She may or may not have banged another dude and came running back to you. Need more evidence for that.

But from what you've written, it does look like she was way, way into you, feared losing control of herself to the relationship, and tried to gain an upper hand.

You pushed back and refused to play. She freaked out and realized that if she tried to play by her rules, you'd leave. She felt it was better to be with you without hand than without you.

Now you've got the frame. Do you want it?

A poster above said relationships take work but should require constant maintenance. That said, you've not really agreed to be exclusive yet. If you do and her games keep up, well, you should know what to do then.

Do you want her? If you do, stay strong and don't bend. And don't let her play chitty female games with you.