opinion on dwomen from a meathead buddy

[majumbo]

nah, these arent ONS's. These are quality chicks who want LTR's or STR's

Santiago was right about what he said: being yourself means not making any excuses or changing your behaviour because you are afraid of pissing her off. If there is one thing that girls cannot stand it's guys smothering them with attention, I don't care what they say. Like Santiago said, too f-ing bad if they don't like something. You have to show that you actually have a back bone and aren't afraid to make them feel uncomfortable from time to time. It's called living your own life and if they want to spend time with you, they need to give you the GOLDEN TWO: Respect and Priority.

Respect
I will make no excuses for my wants and desires as a man, I have emotional and physical needs just as they do, and I will not kiss their ass to have any of them fulfilled. When a girl senses that you are above playing the bull**** power games and are honest and open to them without being an ******* about it, it shows tremendous backbone. You have to be willing to make them feel a little uncomfortable if something they say or do ticks you off. Don't just bite your lip and say "whatever you want, sweetie" you are just asking for an ass kicking then. Also on this topic, this doesn't mean treat them cruelly or yell or abuse them. Many girls will say that want a 50/50 relationship with a man, and most cases this is true. Many girls want a man that is in control: his finances, his career, his lifestyle, a guy that can take charge in a relationship without being bossy or a prick yelling "down *****!" looking for absolute dominance. They want to know that the guy they are with won't buckle when bad times hit and that you will be there when the **** hits the fan, and take action to resolve things when it does.

Priority
I'm not saying a woman has to drop everything she is doing and devote herself to satisfying your wishes 24/7. That's nuts. But what I am suggesting is this: YOUR TIME IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS THERE'S, AND IF SHE SAYS SHE IS GOING TO BE SOMEWHERE/CALL/STOP BY, SHE'D BETTER BACK IT UP. She'd expect no less from you, right? Wouldn't she feel like you were dissing her and her time if you told her you'd meet her somewhere at a certain time and showed up an hour later? I always keep in my mind that it isn't me that has to prove that I'm worthy of her time and attention, it's the other way around. Now, I know that comes off perhaps a bit ****y or full of myself, but that's the mindset that I have and I have never suffered for it. A girl's gotta show me that she will be where/call/ do something when she says she will, or I move on to the next girl. Why spend your time chasing a girl that's incongruent in deed and action, when I could just move on to the next one who WILL do all the things they say they will. Isn't that what you DESERVE: someone who is going to be as congruent in thought and action as you are?

Remeber: You DESERVE to be with the right girl, and are willing to step aside to go on if you don't think she's right for you. You must have willingness to WALK AWAY.

This sounds like a lot of pseudo psychology, but I have had to do a ton of thinking and research on this thing called attraction and relationthips, and have picked up some usefull things on the way. Hopefully there is some useful info here for anyone reading this, and if not, that's ok.

 

[Fenderules]

yeah thats so true. I like your mindset. You have obviously read all of pooks stuff in the bible

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Unless you look good or have money.There's no way you'll get laid with that mentality.

 

[Scought]

The realnezz...what are you talking about?

All the man said is treat your wishes and emotions in the same regard as a woman does. Dont bend over backwards to her every wish, if it goes against what you would do for a friend or family member.

If a guy friend made you put up with a lot of BS, you wouldnt. Same with a woman. Its a matter of self-respect.

IF you cant stand up for yourself(im not talking about fighting) then she wont respect you, and no one else will. Hell, you cant even respect youself.

Its also a matter of accountabilty. If you have plans and she flakes thats pretty lame, and why would you want to waste your time with her even more?

Doesnt make sense.

You can find out most everything about a womans character, (most, not all) within the first few interactions with a woman.

you can tell how she values you. How she treats others. How she values your time, and her time. Etc, Etc.

This is a good way to act.
Its a good mindframe.
Yours, Realnezz, sounds to simply do what the woman wants.

What if you favorite thing to do was read books. And she says, man I cant stand guys that read. That intellectual crap just sucks, and i couldnt stand a nerd like that.

Are you going to agree and say, yes that is true? (If so, thats being fake).
Otherwise another guy might say, hold up a second. And discuss it with her.

Girls dont want predictability either, which is what doing and agreeing with everything she says will get boring, old, predictable, and just plain isnt fun.

So, if this isnt a solid mindframe, what is?
If valuing your opinion just as much as hers is wrong, what right?

I'd like to get your take.
He wasnt suggesting being an *******, he was simply saying that it is ok to be a MAN, and respectfully disagree. If you dont know how to do that, then you are lacking basic social skills.

What is your alternative, realnezz?

 

[Fenderules]

"Yours, Realnezz, sounds to simply do what the woman wants."





thats what i see 2



you are a man. she has to prover herself to you. For example i hate hip hop and never gets played in my car. I dont care how much the girl likes it, hip hop is not gonna be played in my car end of story.

She will respect you for having backbone and you will have a big trait that turns her on............confidence.



it tells her that even you wont take crap from her so she better respect you or else she is gone.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Being a selfish,ruthless,my way or the highway type of mf'er will lead you to improve youself in various ways and can make you happy.

But it's best to put your ego on the shelf when dealing women for the most part it won't get any results. Those things you mentioned are done when you are in a reltionship that's had it's time in the sun.

You get more bees with honey then with vinegar.

I'm not saying you are wrong I'm saying that won't lead to good results other than stroking your own ego.

You'll still get the run-around.What makes you think that putting women in check will attract them?It just confuses them.And you belive it's attraction cuz they stick around after,but they only do that cuz they are socialized differently and they won't anyone to be mad at them,that's all it is.

It's better to be nice and freindly and court them the proper way with putting sex on the back of your mind.And I mean exactly that.

Taking your time will lead you to better results in the end.

If you wanna maenuever with that "I am the man" bull**** you'll never be happy.It's fake confidence cuz you are pretending to be the alpha by bringing her down instead of being the man women want.

Beleive me bruh let all that go and relax and treat women for what they are. No amount of machismo is gonna make a woman act they way you want her too.

 

[Bonhomme]

A good spine bends a bit

I feel strongly both ways.

I had "suspended" a gal for not calling when she said she would, but when I did finally get a hold of her she told me she couldn't make outgoing calls because her cell phone bill got a bit behind.

It's a good thing I hadn't cut her off entirely, and had kept enough of a positive spin on things, playfully stating my piece about the behavior without tearing down the person. But it appears even that was not quite right. Sometimes things just aren't quite as they seem.

And sometimes I wonder if gals who are really, really into you actually throw some of that kind of crap at you to see if you strike the right balance of being firm, but fair and reasonable.

 

[Scought]

I never mentioned machismo man, but you have to understand that you have to value your own opinions, even if they are in opposition to a womans. Otherwise, youll go insane. You didnt reply with any rebuttal other than, you m ust be good looking or rich.

You left yourself open to being questioned.

Like i said, i agree with the parts about not making youself a doormat. Which is what part of the thread implies you shouldnt be. And I would agree with that.

And as far as flaky-ness is concerned, that is just not acceptable from anybody. Friend, Client, family, girls, etc.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

"Dont bend over backwards to her every wish, if it goes against what you would do for a friend or family member. "

She isn't a freind or a family member.

She is a woman you want to sleep with.It's two completely different things.


"If a guy friend made you put up with a lot of BS, you wouldnt."

Again,i;m not trying to sleep with him.It's tottally different.

"Same with a woman. Its a matter of self-respect."

No it isn't.

Women give you what you think is "b.s." when they don't say what you want them to say.They are b!tches lost of times but you have no control over that.

"IF you cant stand up for yourself(im not talking about fighting) then she wont respect you, and no one else will. Hell, you cant even respect youself."

But that is common sense not to let people boss you around.


"Its also a matter of accountabilty. If you have plans and she flakes thats pretty lame, and why would you want to waste your time with her even more? "

It happens all the time.They all do it.


"Yours, Realnezz, sounds to simply do what the woman wants."

How do you expect her to spread them for you if you don't budge on anything?

Yes,I do give them what they want and that is a good time.

"What if you favorite thing to do was read books. And she says, man I cant stand guys that read. That intellectual crap just sucks, and i couldnt stand a nerd like that."

Everybody has an opinion,dog.I'll just play it off and keep it moving.Why would I sit there and explain something so trivial?


"Girls dont want predictability either, which is what doing and agreeing with everything she says will get boring, old, predictable, and just plain isnt fun."

Between me and you-They don't know the meaning of fun.I just got back from four days in a beach resort with my classmates.

Most of those chics didn't even get near the sun or come outside.You had to literally drag them and take them places.They were not receptive. Now what were they receptive too?Dancing,drinking,and just walking the beach and talking.That was after awhile of buttering them up.

Fun to them is fun convo,jokes and finding a guy that takes interest in them and has lots of things in common with.

They are socialized and programmed to be a certain way.We are activity oreintated.They are socially orientated they think fun is just interacting with new people and talking to new people.Fun to chic is going to a restaruant with her freinds and some cute guys.

Is that "fun" to you sitting down to eat and talk?Fvck no.But they like that ish.Some don't and some front like they don't...but most are pleased with little.

"So, if this isnt a solid mindframe, what is?"

It is a solid mindframe..it just won't get you laid,lol.

"If valuing your opinion just as much as hers is wrong, what right?"

Obvisoulsy if a girl says she likes gay porn you aren't gonna agree with her and take U-turn to the next video store's adult section.

But you should be agreeable as possible and just focus on having fun with her.It's not about an ego-struggle it's about getting them panties.


"He wasnt suggesting being an *******,"

But he is.Is so many words that's what he's saying.That's what that attitude leads too.

And when you don't get women flocking top you it will lead to bitterness and anger.Like most guys that come here and leave with the "I am the Prize" mentality,you will come back her to vent on women or sosuave.


"What is your alternative, realnezz?"

To be a gentleman and treat them like ladies.

When it's time to flip it out on her and play the testertone card you will know.

Another thing is you seem to be trying to qualify women or catergorize them into something they aren't.

They aren't men or your freinds.

I think this why you warmed up to that state of mind so quickly you think treating them like your bro's is gonna get the job done.

It won't. Men don't behave anything like women and women are too senstive and too used to having their asses courted over that they react negativley towards men don't behave properly.

I agree with looking out for yourself and putting yourself first but I'm telling you I lived through that it won't get you anywhere it feels good to not call back,it feels good to ignore women you dated the night before,it's was cool.

But it didn't get me anywhere.All I did was float from woman to woman some put out most didn't.It was an even bigger waste of time than being a symp.With being a symp and a nice guy I at least had dozens of women at a time and I automatically had my foot in the door with them. Being myserious and a jerk got me isolated and had me work harder to even get the numbers.It made them uncomfortable.

It's ridicolous and it won't work..you think it works..it feels like its working...but it isn't.

 

[majumbo]

Realnezz, so a girl who flakes on you and doesnt return your call: how would you handle it in the beginning stages of dating one chick in particular. You seem to advocate ideas relayed int "How to make every girl want you". SO you're saying the whole challenge thing wont work with women and that one should in fact pursue the girl, but confidently, persistently and without desperation???

Thanks amigo. BTW, my original post was my buddy's opinions. I know they are inflexible.

 

[Scought]

Yo check the history. A lot of guys here are saps. I have never came on here cryin about a girl or doing the whole machismo thing. In fact, a few weeks ago some guy posted some article that was extremely chavunist and redneck, and I went against that.

My point is you seem like you want to be 'the nice guy'. If thats your perogative, go ahead.

If you enjoy wasting money and being a sweet heart while girls get a free meal and such, before you've really gotten to know them, shoot, go balls out.


Ill im sayin on here, is guys do the most ridiculous things on here because they think they can convince, or they can be the nicest guy into liking them. Its crazy.

As for the self-respect thing, its pretty cut and dry. Either you respect yourself all the time or none of the time. its pointless to put it on hold for a girl, if she is being rude/disrespectul.

However, if you feel you have to do their every wish and buy them things and all this to get laid, and more importantly, appeasing their opinions in spite of your own, just go get laid, is actually pretty lame.

Im abotu having fun, more than just getting my tip wet.
So, if I have to jump through a million hoops just to do that, no thanks.

The whole process should be fun, exciting, respectful. Not just about getting a nut. thats just my opinion.

And your discussions to me have gone completly off-topic from the original poster, and I believe you are putting my opinion in line with the original thread starter. I agree with things, but I have a different perspective.

Just make sure you can distinguish the two. Thanks.

 

[jakethasnake]

.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Originally posted by majumbo
Realnezz, so a girl who flakes on you and doesnt return your call: how would you handle it in the beginning stages of dating one chick in particular. You seem to advocate ideas relayed int "How to make every girl want you". SO you're saying the whole challenge thing wont work with women and that one should in fact pursue the girl, but confidently, persistently and without desperation???

Thanks amigo. BTW, my original post was my buddy's opinions. I know they are inflexible.

Call a few days later.Honestly they all do that.

Yes,that's exactly what I mean.

 

[Ricky]

This is an interesting thread. I like debate.

You know what. It depends a bit on the girl. I know this is counter to what many people believe, but you have to treat girls a bit differently at times.

Let's compare two scenarios

1) A girl with already sky high interest in you.

2) A girl who is just getting to know you and doesn't seem to display such high interest

In case 1 you don't want to be AFC or do things to lower interest, but you also don't have to worry as much about increasing her interest. Actually showing her some respect and showing a bit of interest in the girl in part 1 can go a long way

2) The girl with questionable interest will respond to certain DJ techniques.
You have to be a bit more careful with her.

I know because I recently had girls fitting 1 and 2 at the same time.

In the end, make a judgement based on your interest in her. I cut off the girl with questionable interest because I started to feel the same way about her as i got to know her more.

In the end sometimes women are the best at determining compatibility. Normally a girl with high interest in you is probably pretty compatible with you whereas ones that need to warm up to you probably aren't all that compatible to begin with.

I know it sounds hard to believe but every once in a while a girl might be right when it comes to this stuff.

 

[majumbo]

I want details on 2)

This is where challenge is supposed to come into play. Girl in question is VERY VERY VERY independent. Not sure if challenge works all that well cause she seems emotionally free-spirited and doesnt really need anyone in her life. Doesnt mean she doesnt want anyone though.

Originally posted by Ricky
This is an interesting thread. I like debate.

You know what. It depends a bit on the girl. I know this is counter to what many people believe, but you have to treat girls a bit differently at times.

Let's compare two scenarios

1) A girl with already sky high interest in you.

2) A girl who is just getting to know you and doesn't seem to display such high interest

In case 1 you don't want to be AFC or do things to lower interest, but you also don't have to worry as much about increasing her interest. Actually showing her some respect and showing a bit of interest in the girl in part 1 can go a long way

2) The girl with questionable interest will respond to certain DJ techniques.
You have to be a bit more careful with her.

I know because I recently had girls fitting 1 and 2 at the same time.

In the end, make a judgement based on your interest in her. I cut off the girl with questionable interest because I started to feel the same way about her as i got to know her more.

In the end sometimes women are the best at determining compatibility. Normally a girl with high interest in you is probably pretty compatible with you whereas ones that need to warm up to you probably aren't all that compatible to begin with.

I know it sounds hard to believe but every once in a while a girl might be right when it comes to this stuff.

 

[Ricky]

Yeah girl in 2) is very independent.

She is one of those types that literally told me "I am prepared to go through life alone, i don't need a man" after a very small fight we had.

She probably won't be in the picture at all for me in 2005.

The only way for her to be is if the challenge of not seeing me starts to matter to her.