"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Online Dating Sites

TheChicGeek

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Basically, my question is are they worth my time? I am absolutely not interested in the girls I have been meeting in RL. They are attractive and all, but none of them seem to have any real depth or character. I have resorted to trying to find some girls on OKCupid. I have tried dating sites in the past with little or no success. Girls that are at all attractive seem to get huge numbers of emails and it seems that they are on there more for the validation than seriously trying to find friends. I would be fine finding some cool chicks to kick it with and go to parties and bars and stuff with. I feel like I want more females in my life right now anyway (the unfortunate side effect of being a physics/engineering guy in university is very little interaction with decent girls).

Are these girls just as low a quality as those that I have met in RL usually or are they as frustrated with the quality of people that they are meeting just as I am? Also, if you guys think it is worth my time, how do i learn to make an effective profile/send effective emails to at least get girls to respond to me? Thanks.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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Well, the positives about online dating are this:

1) No rejection. If someone doesn't like you, or gets offended by something you wrote to them, guess what, they wont write you back, and if they do write something nasty, you can just delete it.

On the plus side you can have a numbers game that's exaggerated to what you may do in real life. Now, the other side to this is you can feel rejected if you get a sparce response or you feel 'brushed off' - have a tendency to feel like one in a zillion guys there that are competing, and unless you have a good pics and a really bad boy or hot profile, it seems difficult to succeed.

Style has said a 'bad boy' profile will tend to get the best results. Chicks dig excitement, adventure, mystery, obviously, if you have those components on a profile, plus a good pic, and also show that you are successful and have ambition, then that's likely to work better.

2) You are behind the screen. That means exactly that. Believe me, there are some girls there you wouldn't like to meet anyway. You also can reject girls easily if you dont think it's going to go anywhere.

So there should be no approach anxiety, worrying about what to say, and best of all you know allot about what type of person you'll get involved with because she is writing about herself.

When you meet people offline or on the telephone, you are sort of on a black box about them, and they are on a black box about you, so you know people better before meeting them, and thus have a higher liklihood of success

3) Nothing wrong with meeting people that dont work out as time wasted is experience learned. People online appear to be superficial or lack depth of character, and to some extent I agree with it. But, hey, you never know, have to keep trying different sites, and look for different qualities on someone you are picking up....

which brings me too..


4) Because you have a better sence of what you want or do not want in a woman, you can be more selective with your search and have a more defined profile. All of this will work better since you are not desperate to get anyone and anywhere, but will look more serious.
 

BigFoot

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For most guys, the online sites are a waste of time. Most of the women on these sites are there for a reason - attractive women just don't need to be there. Alot of women who have attractive photo's get alot of responses (maybe even 50 a day) and they are often there for the attention they get.
Meet people in person - your odds are alot better.
 

realsmoothie

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plentyoffish.com

free, and I know lots of decent girls on it. pretty hip.
 

afc_2_dj

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I kind of agree, in my experience they are looking for attention, and more so I find the online girls far more picky in their requirments than those in real life. Personally I think half the girls there are so picky that nobody they met in real life was good enough, and somehow they expect to meet only Brad Pitts online who might be adequet to satisfy them!
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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skip2mylou781

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i like how Luke is giving advice here despite never having success online and STILL being a guy whos never kissed a girl.......

theres 1 end all to online dating, and its called MYSPACE.COM
 
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skip2mylou781 said:
i like how Luke is giving advice here despite never having success online and STILL being a guy whos never kissed a girl.......

theres 1 end all to online dating, and its called MYSPACE.COM
Yeah. You are the same guy that said hold on to your virginity than do a grossly fat/ugly girl right?

There has been success online if I really wanted to kiss or have sex with ANYONE, but so far, not in any terms that are acceptable to me. So, success is really relative to how low your want to drop your standards on looks and morals.
 
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Skiptomylou,

You are going to calling me a DJ now. I HAVE TWO HOT BABES WITH BIG BOOBS READY TO SEE ME THIS WEEKEND.

Ha!
 

crossboss

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Having two girls online

Good to see you are getting somewhere. However, I wouldn't call two girls meeting online as a way of saying you are a dj. Get girls in real life. I can help you with that.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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crossboss said:
Good to see you are getting somewhere. However, I wouldn't call two girls meeting online as a way of saying you are a dj. Get girls in real life. I can help you with that.
Didn't he say that they were going to see him this weekend? Isn't that real life? :confused:
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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crossboss

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The point I am making

If he meets these girls online but he acts like a complete afc, then he won't get laid by hot chicks. The idea is to get the skills in real life, and not rely on some website. And if for some reason you do, then you won't hold on to them for long.
 

ScrewIt

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afc_2_dj said:
I kind of agree, in my experience they are looking for attention, and more so I find the online girls far more picky in their requirments than those in real life. Personally I think half the girls there are so picky that nobody they met in real life was good enough, and somehow they expect to meet only Brad Pitts online who might be adequet to satisfy them!
That's very true.

online dating sites are severly lacking in physical/intimate depth. Which is a major flaw in creating attraction. one will still have better luck in meeting someone in a real-life interaction because nothing beats the real stuff of body language, EC, smiling, voice tone...etc.
 

petah2001

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I used to have no faith in those sites until I met a girl in RL. I was instantly attracted to her, she was outgoing, attractive, intelligent and very playful. It wasn't until shortly after that I found out she had a boyfriend of 8 months who she hooked up with on lavalife.com.

curse you lavalife!
 
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Results from my online efforts:

So far I have three prospects from adultfriendfinder.

1) FUG, I meet from lavalife in March, but I have cold-feet towards pursuing.
Leaving her as a last resort if other two HB prospects do not work out. Does everything you can think of.

2) A HB, I deferred the date to next week as I wasn't comfortable meeting right away, and she gave me a choice to go this week or next. I started corresponding with her since Thursday last week. She seems really willing to meet to chat over some drinks. I'm the one that seemed to have chickened out of an immediate meeting this weekend, but I didn't feel prepared, and I know if i'm not pysched up, it usually fails offline anyway.

I know this, once I had a rush date on June 10th this year, I wasn't ready for, and it was a date from hell. I know I have to be comfortable and psyched up, or it's going to fall through the cracks.

3) Another HB, she likes my pics, wants to chat up a bit before actually meeting. Seems smooth so far. Has a reputation of giving good oral that people do not want to *** because they enjoy it allot.

***********

There is no illusion. I have not only presented me as an AFC, but as a hopeless WBAFC get laid charity case. While the results (i.e. three prospects) may not be a big deal, it's still better than nothing.

Since I'm half-chicken about it, it appears that I'm giving off natural 'disinterest' vibes which undermines my own desperation for experience, or belief that I am desperate for experience, who knows? Let's see where this goes.

I just have to act like a geeky guy - BUT DONT SAY ANYTHING TO OFFEND GIRL, and let's see where this goes. It's highly likely, meeting those types of women to say something off the wall that may portray her as a slvt, like "how many guys have you slept with?", "what's the dirtiest thing you've done", etc.... even if she is one. This is already understood as the given worst case scenerio, because if I say anything like that, my chances are ruined.
 
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petah2001 said:
I used to have no faith in those sites until I met a girl in RL. I was instantly attracted to her, she was outgoing, attractive, intelligent and very playful. It wasn't until shortly after that I found out she had a boyfriend of 8 months who she hooked up with on lavalife.com.

curse you lavalife!
These sites work better for women then for guys. A woman can easily pick up any guy, or have too many guys to choose from.

Honestly though, if I just had to rely on lavalife to get laid this month, with my negative profile, I'd be out of luck. That's why I joined adultfriendfinder, have to try more than just lavalife.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Fenderules

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i just joined the plenty of fish dating site.







being a metal head seeing all these cool metal head chicks that are ****'n hot as hell.............this should be interesting.....we where it goes
 
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