Oh man...Meeting tomorrow

[jcb1772]

OK, long story short, I have a female friend (lets call her Sally) who I see every week...who set me up to get to know her best friend (different school than me) via AIM, and hopefully get into a relationship. So for the past month or so I've talked to this girl online...we actually seem to connect very well. But yes, yes I know...IM can be different than real convo. Tomorrow, we meet each other at Sally's house.

Also FWIW...supposedly, we're going to watch movies. And Sally also requested that I bring one of my guy friends (for her lol), so I am.

I guess I don't really have any issues, just trying to prepare myself on how to act cool...a little nervous. Any tips on how to not screw this up, or ways to make it go smooth? Oh, we've both seen pics of each other and both think each other look fine...so I guess no worries about appearance.

 

[jcb1772]

Random thought but possibly important...if we seem to "bond" well tonight in person...should I kiss her? She's kind of the mushy-love girl who I'd think might be expecting it...but I'm not sure if it'd be too soon or not.

 

[mastersF]

use the kiss test, but more importantly, trust ur gut feeling =D have fun.

 

[kev me723]

I personally never think it's too soon. The only time you are going to fast is when she's not turned on. As long as she's into you, she'll be open for it. Be casual and, most importantly, talk normally. DON'T make it awkward since it's in person this time. Act like you had just seen her yesterday.

 

[Patrick124]

actlike you've known the girl your whole life, and talk to her like you would an girl you're trying to get with.
its really not that hard, if you show up, act smooth and relax and create a good atmosphere/vibe, she'll dig it.

 

[jcb1772]

Well, I honestly don't know how it went. My friend and I showed up with good attitudes...but at the very start she was way too quiet/shy and wouldn't even look directly at me (I was expecting us to greet each other with a hug...guess not lol). Sally didn't plan much for us to do because we didn't get into the movies...so we spent lot of time doing random stuff and trying to come up with how to entertain ourselves.

So yeah anyways...it was more of a group-oriented thing than me-bond-with-her experience. Mostly we were talking as a group, to the group...only very sparingly did I have convo with her alone. And those few times were kinda awkward. Although she was shy around me and my friend and didn't talk to us that much, she definately laughed at almost everything I said. I guess that's good.

I don't know what'll happen next. In hindsight I probably should've been more aggressive with the kino on the couch (didn't do much of anything there because I was caught offguard with her shyness). I thought she was cute, so I'd like to do something again...next time actually DOING something though like ice-skating, bowling, etc.

So all in all...I'm left feeling extremely

 

[Docs]

Originally posted by jcb1772
Well, I honestly don't know how it went. My friend and I showed up with good attitudes...but at the very start she was way too quiet/shy and wouldn't even look directly at me (I was expecting us to greet each other with a hug...guess not lol). Sally didn't plan much for us to do because we didn't get into the movies...so we spent lot of time doing random stuff and trying to come up with how to entertain ourselves.

So yeah anyways...it was more of a group-oriented thing than me-bond-with-her experience. Mostly we were talking as a group, to the group...only very sparingly did I have convo with her alone. And those few times were kinda awkward. Although she was shy around me and my friend and didn't talk to us that much, she definately laughed at almost everything I said. I guess that's good.

I don't know what'll happen next. In hindsight I probably should've been more aggressive with the kino on the couch (didn't do much of anything there because I was caught offguard with her shyness). I thought she was cute, so I'd like to do something again...next time actually DOING something though like ice-skating, bowling, etc.

So all in all...I'm left feeling extremely

You didn't get her comfortable with you, and viceversa. Read what more or less happened to me here -> Link

Girls are weird.

 

[Phat]

mmm sence you guys talked online so much you didnt have anything to talk about in person.

 

[jcb1772]

Both those comments are what I was afraid of...but I imagine are true.

Well...I talked to her online tonight. Even after meeting each other awkwardly, we still connected very well (as usual on IM). She even agreed we should see each other again. PLUS, Sally kept asking me if I thought she had the whole package and stuff. I'm taking all this to mean the girl is still interested. Yay for me.

BUT that still doesn't take away the fact that we have to become smooth around each other in person. I'm not sure when or where we'll meet next, but I (we) gotta work on that somehow. I'm thinking maybe just the 2 of us would be better, so it'd be more like IM-in-person...rather than getting thrown into that awkward group with both of our friends monitoring our every move.

What do you guys think, any ideas?

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

HAHA! This is perfect. I had the EXACT same situation -- friend intro to her best friend, then my friend gave us each others IM without knowing wh oeach other were... we hit it off on IM but I could never be comfy in person.

Hey...

First off: Stop talking to her online. Why? Because the more you talk to her online, the more you have less to talk about in person. I'm %100 sure that will work.

Second off: If she starts touching you, it means she wants you to touch her back. Just do it. Don't be lame, actually put your arm aroud her waist, or put your arm around her back and grab her opposite shoulder and squeeze as if youre giving a hug.

Third off: Always have something to say. I remember how me and the girl had a thing to say when it became silent... "Tell me something". She said it to me before, and I had no idea what she meant... but she said "Just tell me something I don't know about you". After that, we always said that, or we played something called the "Question Game"... It's lame, but you can learn semi-personal to personal stuff when you ask. If you wanna ask something, ask a deep thing: 1) "What would you do if I was gone and never came back... what would you do, and what would you think...?" 2) "This isnt a question but... Dedicate a song to me..."

This is a perfect time to ask something you always wanted to know, without being nosey... and remember to tell her the main rule is "You're not allowed to ask same questions in anyway back".


Alright, tell me how it goes.

Unfortunately... I had her on a pedastal, and never became comfy around her until she was completely over me. Don't make the same mistake.

How's my advice? I haven't given advice in a long time.

 

[mastersF]

the advice is great ^_^

 

[jcb1772]

Thanks for the tips, Mike. I'm going to try to talk to her less on IM (not completely because I don't want her to stop with me altogether)...and then hopefully we can schedule getting together in person sometime in the next month or two.

any more advice would be appreciated too.

 

[Distant Light]

Well its nice to see you went out. You and your boy should have made like a secret code or something when yall wanted isolation that way yall would know when yall need to move. ITs kinda like winging it.

You said you had good attitudes but how was your energy level when you spoke to them. I'm assuming you came off with just a low high seeing that she was shy and quiet. You could have had a higher energy and said hi and bust on her for being so quiet and shy looking. Not getting into the movies was kinda messed up but you should always look around for backup plans. (Usually I'd see lets look around for a good adventure or something along those lines) Could have played little games or came up with something that was fun. Doing Kino is a must no touching then your not going far.

You should have been kino escalating and gotten her in a better state. I know for sure she doesn't act shy over IM because text don't have emotion but now that you see her in person you wasn't expecting her to be like that.

All in all let this be a nice learning experience for you.

 

[jcb1772]

good points, distant light. Just got word from Sally that the girl likes taking things slow and building friendship first...which is what we've been doing online. Meeting each other, albeit awkward, I think was good though. Next time...I want to take her to DO something...and maybe just me and her.

So it's not over at all...even if it does crash and burn in the future...it's turning into a good, learning experience.