Not much AA, but what the F*ck should I say post approach?

[yuppaz]

What's up guys. This is new to me as of the last 6 months. Thanks to this site, I bailed on my BPD ex girlfriend and am (after 7 crappy years) looking the best I ever have in my life (probably an 8.5 for a guy) and feeling pretty darn good. I have been approaching for a month or so now and I can tell that the girlies have at least some (sometimes a lot) of interest in me.....at first. I can come up with funny openers (usually indirect...maybe I should try more direct) and then talk a little but don't have a knack for flowing convo with someone that I don't know. I don't want to memorize lines or anything, I want to be myself, but I just don't seem to get anywhere in the interaction.


Here is an example (today at my gym):

HB10 (freaking hot body european girly) doing sets on a row machine
Me: mind if I jump in for a set?
HB10: sure
Me: thanks....do set...HB 10 comes back
Me: oops, I forgot to change the weight back, let me get that
Me: How about 300lbs? smile
HB10: Laughs...ummm that might be too much for me
ME: ok, let's try 260 then....smile
HB10: Laughs
ME: no really...30, 40 blah
ME: So what's your name?
HB10: Miranda (or something like that)
ME: Hi Miranda, nice to meet you (girl shake and smile, look in eyes)
ME: Looks like your having a good work out, going back and forth between machines
HB10: ya pretty good
ME: I feel so lazy. 'm doing a power / pump workout where I do heavy weights, then light for different body parts. Today I am only doing one set for 6 reps really heavy but I feel lazy because I'm not doing much
HB10: So how did you learn about how to work out etc. did you have a trainer
ME: No, actually I read a book
HB10: cool, I think it's a great way to learn, I do that too
ME (dumb @ss me): Cool, well I'd better stop bothering you. See you around
HB10: See you
Then a couple minutes later I am doing DB sets (real heavy curls), I put the weights down and HB10 comes over next to me and starts doing something (me thinks she comes because I was there....but maybe not), on her way over I tell her I had some weights for her (the big ones) and she smiles a little.
ME: on brake from set: so Miranda, did you just come after work?
HB10: yes (looks annoyed)
ME: (nothing, I just leave)

Help my dumbass...?????

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Yo what's up man. I think in this case, since she's your 10...be full out direct with her. I think at this point, she wants you to be a man.

You: Miranda...its now time for me to tell you this<look deeply into her left eye>....You are Damn Beautiful and we are now going to get to know each other better.

Her:

You: I'm done talking about the gym for today. Now then, I take it you are Czech

Her: Haha. Oh no, I'm Albanian. Why Czech?

You: I've seen many Czech girls have light brown hair and a face like urs, oh and don't forget...ur accent is a little light.

Her: Haha...really? I havent seen many girls look like me, but in Albania...girls have a bit stronger voice.

You: Are you sure not pulling my leg that ur not check?

Her: I'm sure

You: Ok ok...i'll believe u....for now

Her:

You: So that must mean, since ur in the states for a few years...your liking it a little bit more....but u miss back home...

<KEEP THE CONVO GOING TILL>

You: Oh u've down it down....this is getting too good...After you and me are down working out...we are going to go to starbucks/Whatever and talk about this more

Conversational Threads about her and relating to that

 

[dbot]

What was your objective when you were talking to her? A number? A date? Figure this out before you approach, and never bail without attempting to get it.

The interaction was fine. You just needed to wrap it up. Next time you run out of something to say, just go straight for the objective. Here's what you could have done:

HB10: So how did you learn about how to work out etc. did you have a trainer
ME: No, actually I read a book
HB10: cool, I think it's a great way to learn, I do that too
ME: Cool, well I better get back to my workout. Do you wanna grab some coffee or something later?

That's it. Approach, brief chit-chat, close. Just make sure you have an objective before you approach her, and you'll be fine.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

^Good point, but i think saying "lets grab some coffee later" or "We're going to grab some coffee later" might be a bit better since it shows good dominance and confidence.

 

[yuppaz]

You guys don't think that is too much (forward) in such a brief interaction? I've been chatting girls up (sometimes) for like 20 minutes or so.....still not closing though, I keep trying to wait and see good IOI's before I do......which I still haven't LOL.

I know you guys know your sh*t, is that normal to ask for a date so quickly?

DBOT...I wish I could do what you do (If you are for real which I suspect you are, and just pull the same day), but even getting a number is foreign to me right now. My friend is sort of a player and he was saying to be more subtle and ask for an email address (but not to ask like it was a serious deal) vs. number which may be harder to get. He was also telling me to start with 6's instead of 10's. any thoughts?

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Eventho i was never addressed specifically....waiting 20 minutes without the close? oh man...unless ur doing an insta-date with her, 20 min is a bit too long . Its better to be seen as too forward than not forward enough. If a girl says, "Thats forward yuppaz"...you just say, "Yep. Aright ur number is <whatever area code>...."

Trust me on this one. Remember yuppaz, the Indicators of Attraction won't ever come as u expect them unless u show urs first. But why get an email address? With a number, it can be more personal and she has a better idea that u want something non-platonic. Make sure she knows that ur into her romantically(Yes some women are naive). Get a number instead in my opinion, and when he said...start with 6's....i think he was referring to the fact that the less hot they are...the less nervous you are....but you should game whoever you want. Hell, u talked to one just fine. So gaming any level of hotness in the girl prolly won't matter.

 

[Cry For Love]

Seriously man try out routines from other seduction sites & forums, there are tons of them, cant harm you and is useful to have a full plan made up before talking starts

 

[dbot]

Trust me on this... forget about IOIs and all that stuff. It really doesn't matter. If she's engaging in conversation with you and doesn't look completely bored out of her mind then she must be interested on some level. You're either gonna get a yes or a no, so just ask already. Oh and approaching less attractive women is for dudes that don't have the balls to talk to the hotter girls. It doesn't seem like that's an issue with you, so don't worry about it.

Your interaction was plenty long enough to ask for a date or number. She knows within the first 5 seconds of meeting you whether or not she'd be willing to give you her info. Sometimes if I'm in a hurry and I see a cute girl, I'll ask her right from the start: "Excuse me. I'm kind of in a rush, but I noticed you sitting over here and I wanted to see if you'd like to go out sometime. I'm dbot by the way."

Also, always ask for a date, then get the number. She's 100x more likely to flake if you're not up front with your intentions. Besides, if she's not willing to see you then there's really no point in getting the number, is there?

 

[yuppaz]

Thanks for the advice boys, you guys kick @ss. I'm definitely going to focus on asking for the number with a strong presence and a big grin, and I'll ask much sooner along in the convo.

You guys rock!!!!