"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Non-creepy way for grads to hit on undergrads?

Leporello

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So i just started grad school and I've been salivating over the crowds of hot undergrad girls which seem to be everywhere.... THE PROBLEM IS most of the usual avenues for meeting them are closed. We don't go to the same classes, I don't live in the dorms, and I go to a school with an urban campus, so there's not really a central quad or whatever for hanging out and chatting up girls.

I can remember back as an undergrad there were PhD students who were seriously older (mid-30s) who tried to ingratiate themselves with freshman and sophomore girls and it was always a fiasco. I'm not as old as those dudes but I'd like to avoid the aura of desperation that always seemed to follow them.

BUT I also knew a fair number of undergrad girls who dated grad students...I just don't exactly know how that came about.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Trader

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Leporello said:
So i just started grad school and I've been salivating over the THE PROBLEM IS most of the usual avenues for meeting them are closed. We don't go to the same classes, I don't live in the dorms, and I go to a school with an urban campus, so there's not really a central quad or whatever for hanging out and chatting up girls.

I can remember back as an undergrad there were PhD students who were seriously older (mid-30s) who tried to ingratiate themselves with freshman and sophomore girls and it was always a fiasco. I'm not as old as those dudes but I'd like to avoid the aura of desperation that always seemed to follow them.

BUT I also knew a fair number of undergrad girls who dated grad students...I just don't exactly know how that came about.
When I was in grad-school (24), I dated a freshman girl (18) but I did have the benefit of taking a foreign language class with her. You could probably achieve the same result by meeting her at a club or organization.

That aura of desperation you referred to was systemic to the individual, and not the direct result of going after younger girls.

If you are cool, you are cool, period.
 

Iceberg

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Trader said:
That aura of desperation you referred to was systemic to the individual, and not the direct result of going after younger girls.

If you are cool, you are cool, period.
Well said.

There's nothing "creepy" about talking to any girl. Unless you're a creepy guy saying creepy things.

Can't picture a girl saying "Ew. He's a GRAD STUDENT." It ain't like you're 60 years old with a beer belly and a porn mustache. Talk to whoever you want to. Join clubs. Go to sporting events. Go to the bars they go to.
 
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