"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
No response? How can I look at this positively?
- Thread starter tsmith2334
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
tsmith2334
Master Don Juan
Sorry dude, you seem bitter and depressing. I feel bad for you.MCristo said:You're not getting ass from her you're not going to be in a relationship with her so my point is why the **** do you care?
Actually I'm neither bitter nor depressed. Excuse me for giving you advice.tsmith2334 said:Sorry dude, you seem bitter and depressing. I feel bad for you.
You are talking to a girl you never see. What are expecting of this? Phone sex?
It's just reality dude.
SharinganUser
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NoMoreTapDancing
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Well there is nothing wrong with your ego. Get snubbed from a girl who doesn't go to your school and who you IM 2 lines every month or text 2 lines every month. How dare she snub you? This is you we are talking about!!tsmith2334 said:I have a small crush on a girl from my hometown who goes to another school. I see her very rarely, (we went on a little dinner date last summer) and I talk to her once a month, usually just a quick text or IM. She iniated last time. We're casual friends (I'm NOT in the friends zone)
What's the difference?
So anyway, I figured I'd give her a call last week. I was aiming for a "hey what's up" kind of deal, five to ten minutes of friendly conversation with some C & F and flirting if I could pull it off. I WASN'T going to overdo it and talk her ear off (I.e. friendzone terroritory), I just merely wanted to touch base. I almost never make these kind of calls for what it's worth.
What is the point of the call in the first place? She sounds like your sister at this point. Unless you are want to meet her for a date or sleep with her, you are acting like her gf.
Anyway, she picks up, and says she is in the middle of walking to class and asks if she can call me back. I told her sure. She usually sounds pretty excited to hear from me, but she didn't then. Anyway, here we are a week later... no call back or response of any kind... and I'm kinda bummed.
Maybe she just flunked a test when she talked to you. Maybe her mom passed away. Maybe she forget because she had 3 exams the next day. Maybe her best friend told her where to go. Maybe she got fired from her part time job.
I hate to say it, but it's kind of typical of her not to call back, from what I've seen she's not even good at returning calls from her closest girlfriends. At this point I plan to iniate contact again (something other than calling) next month some time and just act unphased by the little snubbing I got. You know the deal, spin plates, not take it to heart, limit my supply, give it time, all that DJ stuff.
Next month? Whoa dude, slow it down. Not everything has to move as fast as one 10 min call per month.
Get a grip and move on bro.
I mean sure we all agree that since she didn't return his phone call that its definiately not a good sign. However sometimes people really do forget to return calls, even if there is interest. I have forgot to return calls to girls I had a high level of interest in myself. So I don't think all hope is lost. She could have actually really had a busy day and it slipped her mind.
That being said, I would also say the OP needs to make sure to not get oneitis. Your are on the verge of it it seems. You should only next a girl when one of 2 things happens.
1. She shows clear and obvious signs of flaking or of no interest 2 or more occasions.
2. She seems to have low to moderate interest and is taking up your time or keeping you from talking to other potential girls.
So at this point, this girl has done neither. She flaked once by not calling back, so in my opinion the OP should give it more chance, and if she flakes in any way then cut ties with her. But since he is right that he doenst really have any time or money invested in her, he can probably try once more, as long as he doesn't get oneitis at all cause that would mean he is hurting is chances getting other girls if he gets that.