No interest from women...

[Trickster_guy_2001]

How do you get the confidence if whatever you did never got any women even remotely interested?

I've done some very good things in life. I'm on a interesting career path (at least hopefully) I have a life outside of women. I am a performer, so I should be seeing some interest there. But no matter what I do, there are no women interested, not that I choose things to impress women. Far from it. Ok, bragging over.

I'm just not seeing anything. No interest whatsoever. So, when it comes to women, I don't have much confidence, (though I'm trying to portray it.) which they aren't interested, and so I lose that confidence, so they aren't interested... and the cycle goes on.

Any ideas?

I have a job, I work for myself right now. I'm going for a better job in the next week. I have a truck, all that. BFA degree, probably going for Masters or better when the money comes in.

I should have at least one female showing some interest in me, right? no.

I haven't had a date in 3 years. Not that I haven't asked. What gives?

Do I really have to try and be perfect just to get some shallow person? I just wasn't trying to compete with any guy, really. I just do what I want, try and be great, and there's no interest.

I could be missing some signals from women, but I really don't think so. I mean I don't see any body language that would show interest. Are they just being that subtle?

Any thoughts?

 

[( . )( . )]

are you actually showing women your interested?

 

[Trickster_guy_2001]

Originally posted by ( . )( . )
are you actually showing women your interested?

I thought so. At least the ones I was interested in. It can be tricky for me to try to not go right into friend mode. (Not that I'm a chump or kissass.) I've just been cautious with the ones I'm mildly interested in, and tend to go too friendly there. I'm just shy with the girls I like (I do talk to them, though, and I do show interest.).

Frustration and venting time:

I'm pissed that this one woman I'm trying to ask out never shows up to social stuff. I expect her to show up to something, and she doesn't show. So, I have a slight problem with asking her out. She never shows. Again, I'm not sensing any interest. But she doesn't seem to be avoiding me either. So there lies the confusion.

The cute women that I do meet and like, their out of my life after one time of meeting them. I do everything right, but they don't show a "love" interest, and then they're gone. So outside of asking them out after 10 mintues (something I just can't do yet.), I don't meet anyone who I can get to know well enough to ask them out.

 

[( . )( . )]

you say that you do show them signs of interest but do you show these women your attracted to that your sexual? by sexual i mean step up the kino and flirting, are you coming across nervous? are you relaxed and indifferent to her?

I've just been cautious with the ones I'm mildly interested in, and tend to go too friendly there.

 

[Trickster_guy_2001]

Originally posted by ( . )( . )
you say that you do show them signs of interest but do you show these women your attracted to that your sexual? by sexual i mean step up the kino and flirting, are you coming across nervous? are you relaxed and indifferent to her?

It'd be tricky to do, since I usually go for the Christian women. But I do try and flirt. I'm nervous, but I try and come off as relaxed, and I'd like to think I come across as relaxed. I try not to act indifferent, but I probably end up coming across as that because I don't AFC things quite so much any more... I probably reek of it some how when I am attracted to a woman, but I don't know how that will change without having any women be interested in me.

I see the good and bad in me, and they seem to turn any good into a bad. The women seem to be able to turn everything I do into some huge fault.

Yeah, the Christian women seem to do this as much as the non christians. I'd just like to know what is so obviously glaring about me that get women, all women, to go: FRIEND ZONE within half a second of meeting me.

 

[Mizer]

Trickster,


I know this wealthy lawyer through a friend of mine. My friend "Mike" always tells me that his friend "Larry" is miserable. He claims that Larry is extremely frustrated that he is a wealthy lawyer that drives a lexus and all the other good stuff yet, he can't attract women. He claims that they never give him a chance and that they just want the @$$holes.

Now, I tend to ocassionally run into Larry or see him walking about when I am going through my daily business. When I see him all I can think of is the word "miserable." I don't think of it because Mike told me that he was miserable. I think of that word when I see him because it is what his body language speaks and speaks it very loudly. The guy is always looking depressed or down or not sure where he is headed or if he even wants to go any where. I always want to tell Larry when I see him that he always move about like he is just down on his luck.

Now, it is well known that women can pick up signals like this immediatley upon meeting a man. I am sure that Larry's body language would be a complete turn off to women. The thing about it is that Larry insists on blaming the women.

"All women are b1tches," he claims. " all they want is these nothing @$$ punks."

All? All women are b1tches?

Puuuleeeeeeeez.

My point is this:

Although I am not saying any thing new here, it is important to be reminded and to be aware of the subtle signals when it comes to attracting women. You say:

I'd just like to know what is so obviously glaring about me that get women, all women, to go: FRIEND ZONE within half a second of meeting me.

My friend, this badly stinks of "Larryitis"
or unattractive body language. Maybe you can ask a close friend to give you an honest assessment of your body language or the signals you send out.
If this is the problem, start working on strutting your stuff like a peacock, charging like a bull, roaring like a lion, ponding your chest like a gorilla, or walking like a man. Keep us updated.....unless it gets too pathetic such as a bad case of oneitis.


Mizer

 

[Doppler4000]

Originally posted by Trickster_guy_2001
The cute women that I do meet and like, their out of my life after one time of meeting them. I do everything right, but they don't show a "love" interest, and then they're gone. So outside of asking them out after 10 mintues (something I just can't do yet.), I don't meet anyone who I can get to know well enough to ask them out.

There's no reason why you can't finish up a 10 minute conversation (if it's obviously going well) with a suggestion that you get together and a phone number request. You don't see it this way now because of your experience level, but it's probably almost MORE awkward, etc. when you have a conversation and then DON'T offer to take it to the next logical step. For all you know, some of these women you've talked to may have actually wished you'd done that when you just said nothing and walked away.

 

[am4591]

Exactly. Maybe you're being too cautious. Get 'em laughing. (Uh...with you, not at you.) Look them right in the eye when you talk to them. Get them talking about themselves, find common interests between the two of you.

As Mizer said, watch your body language. Also, think about how you dress, any improvements you can make there, if necessary.

 

[runna4]

yeah perhaps just tend to outside appearance a bit more. Shell out some extra cash, nothing flashy or too lavish though. Just new stuff if needed at all.

Definitely body language plays a key role, I always find people looking at me when I walk into a room all confident and relaxed. Walking straight upright and such/good posture. Just be mindful of it, don't walk like you have something up your butt.

Everything else the other people said in their posts above

 

[Umbra]

Trickster, do you have a picture of yourself? Let's start from scratch. Let's make sure your physical appearance is optimal, which it should be if you're a performer.

 

[ChevyLover]

Ok. So your shy around women that you like. Everyone and I mean everyone has been there before. Your not alone there. I was like that for the first 16 years of my life. And not just around women. I thought I was an ugly 4 eyed shmuck that no ladies wanted. And I never got ANY women. OK. So now, this weekend, I could have been with around 15 different women within 3 nights, and I was with one of them. They were all into me, and that is no lie.

-The first thing that you need to do in my opinion, is get a couple of close female friends for a while. Yes this would seem pointless considering you want to break the habit of wanting chicks to be your friends. BUT, this is a good way to lose your shyness around women. They don't have to be hot. Find a girl that you think is below your league physically so that your not intimidated, and become friends with her. I did it, and it worked wonders. I still tried to get with the one chick friend, by asking her if she wanted to fool around, which does not work by the way... but that was a HUGE stepping stone. It took some huge fvcking balls to ask her that. I felt like such a moron when she said no. But I learned so much from that one mistake that it was definitely worth it. My life started to change a lot to the better after that. Everyone found out about it, but I kept my poker face like it never bothered me when people asked me about it, and soon I was on top of the world again.

-Never be afraid to make a mistake. Mistakes are how people learn and grow. If you never try anything new, you will never learn anything, and you will never grow into what you want to become.

-Never fight your manhood. You want to fvck her. So what? Don't hide that fact ever. Don't tell her with words. Words are shlt. "Actions speak louder than words". Never tell a woman you want her, just let your body do the speaking for you. Kino - poke her in the arm while you make fun of something about her while having a big smile on your face so she knows your joking, and keep eye contact the whole time. That would be called flurting and poking a christian or a witch doesn't matter - you get the same reaction. Wow he poked me, he must like me or somethin!

-Be playful, not serious when you first meet a girl that you want. I haven't ran across a female yet who cannot be won over by comedy. They want someone fun. Show them what they want to see, and sell yourself. Don't show them the "bad" in you. Wow so you have some qualities that you don't like that much. Get to like them, or change them. No one is going to like you if you don't like yourself. Their shlt stinks too you know. They've probably got a gay uncle or something... lol just don't worry about it. Nobody is perfect. If they were, they'd be pretty fvcking boring.

I never thought that I would be able to woo any woman in the whole world for most of my life. Now I know that I could have soooo many women with some effort. I used to be the shyest guy that you would ever meet, especially around hot females. But then I learned a little secret. I have so much more than they will ever have. Testosterone, I don't get a rag, I don't have to worry about how big my breasts are or how fat my ass is. The media is not telling me to lose 50 pounds and look like britney spears because otherwise i'm a useless ugly cvnt.

Testosterone is the biggest one. I think it was pook that made the huge article about testosterone. Read it. We were meant to overtake situations. We have so much more testosterone in our systems than women and it comes exactly when we need it. It is the thing in charge of us taking control. The advantage we have over any woman is huge. Its like a 300:50 ratio or something like that. Fact is, we've been conditioned to overcome stressful, testing situations way more than women. So whats stopping you. Be a man. Take control of a situation with a woman. Make her want you bad, and then walk away knowing you won.

Thats my advise, hopefully some of it helps you out.
Good luck, stay strong, and don't EVER lose faith in yourself.

Final note: Oprah is a slutbag wh0re. Take what she says, and do the opposite.

CL

 

[Adr3nalin]

note on christian girls

my best friend is a hardcore christian. He's so hardcore he actually knows the pastors of his church as well as other churches. in fact he knows the pastors so well He knows the pastors families, including their daughters.

He told me this one time this pastors daughter from Michigan came down to visit his older brother. (she's 15, he's 19, and older bro is 21) Anyway, she didn't like the older bro too much and he was up to bat, but he didn't want anything to do with her because she was so far away, so anyway, SHE ASKED HIM! if they could fool around whenever she comes round here (toronto).
Anyway, he ended up fingering her in a construction site, he never got his fingers past her panties, but that was HIS choice not hers. RARELY will they tell you to stop going any further, so long as they are in the moment.

And there is this other pastors girl who is 16 (the pastor of HIS church!) And all she wants to do with him is fool around as well.

Both of the girls are the ones who proposed the option to him, but then again, i taught this guy everything he knows about handling women.

The moral of the story: DO NOT LET ANYONE FOOL YOU, nothing is as it seems. We all want the same thing when it comes down to it.

KINO, Smart ass remarks and fun will get you far in life.

 

[Trickster_guy_2001]

Originally posted by Doppler4000
There's no reason why you can't finish up a 10 minute conversation (if it's obviously going well) with a suggestion that you get together and a phone number request. You don't see it this way now because of your experience level, but it's probably almost MORE awkward, etc. when you have a conversation and then DON'T offer to take it to the next logical step. For all you know, some of these women you've talked to may have actually wished you'd done that when you just said nothing and walked away.

All of them have walked away from me. And I've asked if they were coming to the next social thing. they always say yes, but then don't bother to show. So I think there will be a next time, but there never really is.

I've tried asking women out within ten minutes. Hell even women I haven't had any interest in. (Just as friends). They've always flat out rejected me.

 

[ChevyLover]

Be persistant, and prepared for something like that man. I was thinking about asking this girl out who happens to work in my local store sometimes. She hasn't been asked out before cuz she is really shy and nobody thinks they have the chance cuz she is pretty hot. If I was to do it, It'd go something like this:

Me: "So I'll bet you can't wait to get home and have a nice shower after work to wake yourself up huh?"

Her: "I guess" kind of befuddled

Me: "doesn't a shower feel sooo nice after a long hard day of work? I mean the heat just surging through your whole body? And you feel sooo clean afterwards!"

Her: "I know! Its great!"

Me: "So I heard that you aren't going to go out with anyone until you go to university eh?"

Her: "yeah."

Me: "Well you should forget that and come bowling with me this friday night."

Her: "I don't think so."

Me: "Come on! I'm not asking you to marry me! Is your life such a busy mess that you can't take a couple of hours out of it to spend on getting to know a hot guy?" {Big ****y grin on face}

Her: "well...."

Me: " I think I see a yes coming!" {Keep up the grin}

Her: "ok."

Me: "perfect. I'll pick you up at 8."

See - if a girl rejects you, you can't just give up. That is her test to see if you will infact give up. If you do, your weak and not worthy of her. Be persistent until you get the date, then don't fvck it up once you do. Don't be a creepy stocker, but just be smooth about it. She'll come around.

I'm definitely going to try this, and pull it off soon... I've just been busy with other women recently so I haven't really had time to try it.

You can vary this approach - phone number close, whatever but you get the idea. Don't stop at a no. Sell yourself.


CL

 

[es_mer8]

A very interesting thread. Interesting because I felt the same way a while ago. I had friends and I was involved in activities and was a good person. One point I asked what the hell I was doing wrong. I was probably one of the smartest people in my grade, pound for pound, I'd be in the Top 10 for the strongest people in my school, and I was seriously regarded as one of the most popular kids in school. However I had 0 luck with women. At first, even at this site, I blamed all my women troubles on my bad rep as a loser. Then I started to get numbers and I went into a brief but good relationship with a hot 8. Now talking and flirting is like nothing.

Before this site, I hardly looked like boyfriend material. I wore 4-5 year old shirts (I had an Old Navy shirt was extremely thin and the logo almost was gone from it and that was the most frequently worn shirt I had), had crappy shoes, and several year old pants. I'd rarely shave but I showered daily. I looked pissed constantly when walking down the hallway and talked very quietly and almost girly in a way. I barely got any girls to talk to me but none of them would ever go up to me. Then I realized that all around I even considered myself unattractive. Not in that depressive way but in a way that I realized that if I cleaned myself up and got some confidence, I could do well. The rest is history.

I don't think anyone here hasn't gone through this. From what I've gathered, most people here came here as weak AFCs at a rock bottom of sorts; tired of how their friends or people they know are getting ass but you are at home beating off. I know thats how I came in here.