nO contact challenge ruined my propsect but

[rmark1]

I Guys ,
I think I was an afc , used to shower my girl with gifts .Listening to bs.After reading it here I tried to change my attitidue. Became mor econfident , aggressive ( good way ) .After that we just have a small discussion about dinner , she saying too busy and I just said ai am flattered that you wil find sometime for me . Then I decided to go NC for tw0 months , send her Christmas card and one text but their is silence on the other side .So I am pretty sure I have lost her.But good thing is I am more confident and close to alpha then beta minus. only thing is she is till stuck in my mind for the last three months . spinning plate is not an option right now but I will try .so thanks to all of you guys my relationship is ended but I am not the same afc any more .now I have standards . But I think she is a player too she sensed it that I am not the same guy as before and the way she dump me was a little painful. How can I beat her in to her own game.AS may be I was wondering after NC she will miss me but that was not the case . I felt really bad when she didn't answer my one line text and there is silence from her . The same technique which people are advocating here . so what to do now

 

[Yewki]

How can I beat her in to her own game

You are still AFC as f**k, in case that was not abundantly clear. You are not trying to "win" or "beat her," you should be trying to become a better person and learn how to be happy with yourself, by yourself (while you find another plate). You're obviously failing pretty badly at that because you're still obsessed with her and trying to get her to like you.

You go NC because you're done with her and want to move on, if she comes crawling back to you it's your call to accept or not but you shouldn't expect her to come back... if you expect her to come back after going NC, you're doing it wrong. In your case it sounds like you should have just distanced yourself for a few days and then gradually tried to act like less of a beta and see how she reacted. But if she doesn't respect you, then have the balls to get rid of her... as in, don't pretend to move on. Actually move on.

 

[happyDJ]

You are still AFC as f**k, in case that was not abundantly clear. You are not trying to "win" or "beat her," you should be trying to become a better person and learn how to be happy with yourself, by yourself (while you find another plate). You're obviously failing pretty badly at that because you're still obsessed with her and trying to get her to like you.

You go NC because you're done with her and want to move on, if she comes crawling back to you it's your call to accept or not but you shouldn't expect her to come back... if you expect her to come back after going NC, you're doing it wrong. In your case it sounds like you should have just distanced yourself for a few days and then gradually tried to act like less of a beta and see how she reacted. But if she doesn't respect you, then have the balls to get rid of her... as in, don't pretend to move on. Actually move on.

OP, read this several times a day.

 

[JohnChops]

let me just say this does not take days, it took me nearly 1.5 YEARS to get over my oneitis. its different for everyone, some months some years some never. eventually youll move on when youstart to get tired of her BS.

 

[Jariel]

Then I decided to go NC for tw0 months , send her Christmas card and one text but their is silence on the other side.

You broke no contact.

Another thing is that you're still caught up on this girl. The purpose of No Contact is about healing. It gives her chance to miss you and recognise your value, but the main point is to give you the space to get your emotions under control and stop making her the centre of your universe.

I know it's easier said than done. I've been there myself and made the same mistakes, but now that I have cut contact and I'm truly healing, it's all so clear to me. I can now see just how pathetic and needy I became in my relationship and I can also see why my ex lost attraction for me. Until now, I thought the problem was logical...I thought I'd done something wrong, thought we'd misunderstood each other and figured this was something I could fix.

In short, she fell for a bold, confident and independant man, and ended the relationship with a soft, needy and accommodating lapdog. For over 3 months after our break up, I was still that same needy lapdog that she could not find attractive. Now I'm finally getting back to the man she fell for and the man who other women will fall for.

Until you reach this point of realisation, your ex will want nothing to do with you.