No contact between dates? Or some contact?

[tomwesten27]

Hey guys, I got this girls number and the earliest she can go on a date is apparently NEXT Wednesday because she has a wedding to attend this weekend and the whole week is crazy for her.

I read a lot about staying ghost between dates but its 9 days away and I feel like this girl who's a HB9 in my books will forget about me if I disappear for that long.

Any pointers? Maybe drop a friendly text before the weekend?

 

[MtnMan]

9 days is rough! Good luck, I don't think contacting will help you, but it could hurt you.

I would leave it be unless she contacts, then respond minimally. A high IL girl will NOT wait 9 days to contact you, but a medium IL girl might.

If you don't hear from her, contact the day before the date to confirm.

Its a high flake risk, but no amount of contact will change that.

Good luck brother, talk to other girls in the meantime!

 

[jurry]

If she is interested she won't forget about you. I would not send anything until next week did you set up a place and time yet or are you gona set that up as it gets closer. If it is already set up then i wouldnt contact until day of or night before fo confirm or whatever.

In my experience the hotter the girl the cooler you got to be. If they are very attractive then smelling desperation is like a sixth sense to them, and they will sniff it out right away. So you "checking in" just comes across as a guy whos desperate to hold on to her and make sure she doesnt forget him. Rather than the guy who goes off and finds other girls and isnt worried about her at all.

 

[MtnMan]

If she is interested she won't forget about you. I would not send anything until next week did you set up a place and time yet or are you gona set that up as it gets closer. If it is already set up then i wouldnt contact until day of or night before fo confirm or whatever.

In my experience the hotter the girl the cooler you got to be. If they are very attractive then smelling desperation is like a sixth sense to them, and they will sniff it out right away. So you "checking in" just comes across as a guy whos desperate to hold on to her and make sure she doesnt forget him. Rather than the guy who goes off and finds other girls and isnt worried about her at all.

I think even medium girls can smell that desperation, even via text. I scared off a couple girls that were 7's at best. At first I didn't know why, but later I realized I was desperate, and that sixth sense knew it immediately.

 

[pyros]

reality check:

if she cant see you till next Wednesday...in other words, 7 days into the future...she is not interested, is she?
If you liked a girl, and she asked you out, and you were pretty busy during the week...you would make some time to meet her, wouldn't you? you would like to spend one hour of your tight agenda to see her right?

Anyway, you could text her just to see if she replies and to measure her interest level. If she does not reply or replies minimally you dont ask her out, simple. But even if she replies in a nice way, DO NOT start a boring, long convo. You just texted her to see if she is interested, just aske her how she's doing, maybe one joke and that's it, unless she wants to keep the conversation going.

Related to what I just said two paragraphs above, nobody FORGETS a person they like, not in a week, not in a month, not in a year. So if she does, again, there you have your answer.
Btw, stop thinking that way: "oh, she might forget about me!! oh my god I'm in panic mode! Im such a worm that I would be blessed if she spent one minute of her precious time with me!" you get the point.

To conclude, I think she is not interested but you could give her a shot.

 

[Maximus Rex]

This is Really The Issue

I read a lot about staying ghost between dates but its 9 days away and I feel like this girl who's a HB9 in my books will forget about me if I disappear for that long.

The issue isn't whether or not if she'll "forget," you but why you lack confidence in your game and why you feel as if she gave you her number not to kick it with you at a later date, but as means of getting rid of you.

Maybe drop a friendly text before the weekend?

:cuss: no. Call (and I stress the word call,) when you're ready to step up a date.

http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/9/

Episode 72: Stop Calling to Re-Confirm Dates

http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/page/7/

Episode 96: Stop Being Afraid She’ll Forget You

 

[jurry]

I think even medium girls can smell that desperation, even via text. I scared off a couple girls that were 7's at best. At first I didn't know why, but later I realized I was desperate, and that sixth sense knew it immediately.

Yea i think you're right, it is an innate sort of ability that women have. I guess the difference is that the hotter the girl feels in relation to you, the more that radar is going to be up and active. I went on a second date with a girl like this last weekend and i was doing pretty well until the end where i just haddd to go and kiss her and it turned into this awkward hug/neck kiss thing it was awful haha. We had a decent first date and the second date was going well until that, but she was not giving out any kind of kino or teasing or much flirting. We didnt have a great connection but it was hard to tell if she was just staying reserved to see if my beta would come out and then she might relax a bit if I didnt seem needy, or if we just genuinely didnt have that much mutual attraction.

 

[SgtSplacker]

At the beginning I like to keep contact to a minimum. I'll make contact at the typical times people aren't doing anything. So if I do call it's at around 8-9PM for a weekday, one call then i'll skip a day or two. Maybe a call on a Sunday..

In your case i'd call about every three week days around that time. I would not call on Friday or Saturday so it's not like you're so available on those busy days.

I like to let interest ramp up with the dates, then i'll increase the calls so long as she sounds excited to hear from me.

Interesting note: I'm presently gaming a girl and didn't call her at all during the week. Just had the weekend dates scheduled in advance or whatever. I'd send her maybe 4 texts during the week to say hi. So this girl starts to look me up online and sees a picture of me with my ex. She tells me she saw a picture of me with a girl that looks like a model. That next date she was all over me. Social proof at work here in overdrive.

Scarcity > Social Proof > High IL

 

[MOTU]

Be careful on this. I believe I just lost a good prospect from over communicating. And I wasn't sending needy texts, I was using my send an interesting picture method that has worked well in the past. However, I over did it... Three days in a row, too much!!

It seems the more I like them, the more I tend rationalize behavior that I know is not helpful to my game. I get this kind of "delusion of adequacy" where I think "I am so cool and my game is good, I can txt hb everyday and get away with it". So now the more I want to communicate, the more I am restraining myself.

 

[goldengoose]

She is not a 9. If she likes you enough she will keep in contact with you. Girls who like you always do. Don't be afraid to stay in contact with her. Some of these guys say it will lose interest, but it won't. Don't listen to them, they are always wrong and give bad advice.

 

[tomwesten27]

Hey guys thanks for all your great responses. It seems that the majority of you are swaying more towards:

If she does not hit me up, hold off on hitting her up until next week when I am scheduling the date, correct?

We were joking about drinking at the open bar at the wedding she is attending this weekend, and I don't want to scream desperate but even a text saying "Have fun at that open bar this weekend " sent on say friday is too much??

Thanks!

 

[MtnMan]

Hey guys thanks for all your great responses. It seems that the majority of you are swaying more towards:

If she does not hit me up, hold off on hitting her up until next week when I am scheduling the date, correct?

We were joking about drinking at the open bar at the wedding she is attending this weekend, and I don't want to scream desperate but even a text saying "Have fun at that open bar this weekend " sent on say friday is too much??

Thanks!

I know that exact feeling you have right now, I would not send that text.

I have sent those texts before, and I think it is these types of messages that seem to stink of desperation to women.

If she sends some random crap to you, excellent! If not, resist the urge to send that. Trust me man, this stuff is very fresh in my mind, BTDT several times now, and those random texts never helped the situation with medium or low IL girls.

It is hard to say if texts like this lower interest, or if the interest is already low, but there is one thing I am sure of, these texts sure as hell wont RAISE her IL. Best bet is to hold off.

 

[tomwesten27]

I know that exact feeling you have right now, I would not send that text.

I have sent those texts before, and I think it is these types of messages that seem to stink of desperation to women.

If she sends some random crap to you, excellent! If not, resist the urge to send that. Trust me man, this stuff is very fresh in my mind, BTDT several times now, and those random texts never helped the situation with medium or low IL girls.

It is hard to say if texts like this lower interest, or if the interest is already low, but there is one thing I am sure of, these texts sure as hell wont RAISE her IL. Best bet is to hold off.

Thank you everyone for the great guidance!

Its funny Mtnman because after I read this post by you I reflected back on all the dates that never happened. I realized that I was basically showing the girls that I had nothing else to do but try to talk to them. I scared them away by over texting.

At the end of the day, you guys are right. Maybe she is legit busy this week thats fine. I will wait until monday, hit her up, and see if we make plans for that week. If her IL is still high, she will set up plans with me.

Correct me if I am wrong but I think it is fair to say that if she is busy AGAIN that week or doesn't respond, I obviously lose the number.

 

[MtnMan]

Correct me if I am wrong but I think it is fair to say that if she is busy AGAIN that week or doesn't respond, I obviously lose the number.

that sounds about right. Girls that are highly interested will make time for you. I heard this 1000 times myself, but didn't really get it until I encountered a girl who was interested and was able to compare her to other girls