newbie's first cold approach

[guitar_rockin]

Been visiting the forum for a while but this is my first post. I am probably as far from a DJ as you can get but I sucked it up today and just went for it. First I'll give you a little background on myself. I'm 21 and in my 4th year of college. I've always had real problems talking to women I had an interest in more than just friends. I haven't had a GF in my 4 years at college. The 2 GFs I had in high school I got through friends, I never made the first move. I must say they were pretty hot, and I was a little overweight in High School. I've since completly changed my body, lost 50 pounds and have been lifting for about 2 years seriously. I'm 185lbs and somewhere around 15% bf, I'm currently cutting. I'm not ripped but you can tell that I lift(if that makes sense). I look like a different person today. I dress nice, kinda got the rocker look going on with longer hair, like Keith Urban(singer) if you know who that is, I'm pretty much known as THE musician around campus, singer and guitar player(and a damn fine one I might add lol). I know I have a lot going for me but I still have no confidence with women. I carry myself very confidently in general, but freeze up when it comes to women.

Anyway on to the approach. There is a new girl(very hot) I've been seeing around. I see her just about every day on campus. We always make eye contact and smile at each other and I've caught her sneeking peeks at me quite a bit. It's not just your normal smile when you past random people, I can see something more in her smile at me. I smile and gets smiles from lots of girls just kinda as a hi but hers is different. The other day the school choir had an outdoor concert, I was walking to it and I passed her walking in the opposite direction. As I stood and watched next thing I know she is standing beside me. That was my perfect oppertunity but I pussed out on it. At lunch today I saw her setting very close with a guy on a bench outside, don't know if he was the BF or not, but I could care less about him. I stopped to talk to a friend and they got up and walked away together, but the whole time she was looking back at me. So around 4:00 I'm going to one of the practice rooms to do some guitar playing, and there she is setting on the same bench, all alone, nobody around. So I make my approach

me: Hello, how are you
her: Good and u
me: I'm good, what is your name
her: Lyndsey and you are
me: Matt, I've seen you around campus quite a bit and have been wanting to meet you. Are you new here?
her: Yes
me: Are you a freshman or a transfer?
her: Freshman, what about you
me: Well I'm in my 4th year, but I'm not quite a senior yet. What is your major?
her: Elementary education
me: That is a tough major, what do you want to do?
her: Well teach kids I guess (duh, she was laughing though)
me: So do you live on campus?
her: No I live off campus
me: Well I have to get going but it was nice meeting you and now I'll be able to put a name with face.
her: It was nice meeting you also
me: See you later
her: Bye

Since this was my first time I just wanted to keep it short and if I was reading things right just let her know I was interested in her also. I was very nervous and I'm sure it probably came off that way a little, and I could have made better eye contact. But we were both smileing and laughing. I didn't want to ask for a number or anything right now, I know I'm going to have plenty more chances to get that. If she likes me then great and by breaking the ice today it will be much eaiser to talk to her next time. If not then oh well and I took the first big step and made the approach, it only gets eaiser from here. So how do you think I did, any improvements you can see I need to make? I know this was LONG and thank you for taking the time to read it.

 

[syncmaster]

NICE JOB BUDDY! It's the approach that counts. You put your balls on the line and look --- she didn't shut you down. Congrats and it's a very positive start to have your first post about a pu.

 

[DinoCassanova]

Way to go. Great open. Keep that up. I would say the exchange sounded just fine. I like the straightforward no BS approach. Now that you've opened her and you know each other be sure to make contact with her again as soon as possible and start the whole "getting to know you thing". The vibe I get from that convo you had w/her, if that was word for word, and the way you said she's been eyeballing you lately, I think you could have her # , or exchange w/her , by the weekend.

 

[guitar_rockin]

I forgot one little part when I said:

me: Matt, I've seen you around campus quite a bit and have been wanting to meet you. You have class in the same room right after me for your 9:00 class.

She made a gesture kinda like, "oh, I never noticed"
I know that is a bunch of BS. I always walk right past her and we always look at each other. Not that it was negitave, just like she was trying to play it down.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Don't sweat that girl... It'll only get easier from there.

 

[qweretyuiopas]

I hope my first approach is worth making a topic out of

 

[So pimp its scary]

Originally posted by qweretyuiopas
I hope my first approach is worth making a topic out of

Holy crap dude, just go out and get it over with.

 

[Smooth Player 056]

That was a great first approach man. You have a good starting point....now you need to work on getting some rapport, by DHV'ing her or forcing her to DLV. I suggest also using light kino, nd some playful c&f. After that you can work on number closing.

"The man with the most sets wins"

The more sets you do, the more you learn...simple as that. No post can teach what 1 good in field lesson can teach.


P.S.- After you said the name with the face line....she responded "it was nice meeting you".........she could have easily said "ok bye." Seems like theres some sort of interest I would pursue more, also you talk a bout "the look she gave" I know what your talking about, and that conveys non verbal interest.

Sincerely
Smooth Player 056

CONGRATS 1ST ON FIRST APPROACH!!

:cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

 

[locarius]

Good stuff man. You've got my respect just my grabbing your balls and doing it. It sounds like she is interested in you, so here is what I would do:

Next time you see her, say hi, and tell her a really funny and exciting story that displays that you have a great personality. After that, just say "hey lets hang out. how can I contact you to make arrangements?" or something. Good work so far dude... read the DJ bible.

 

[bbestar]

I talked to this police officer girl once in a mcdonalds, and we had an interesting conversation.

I didn't feel nervous at all cause she wasn't my type... a cute milf

The thing is whenever i talked to her, i noticed her hands were shaking like she was nervous or something

Looking nervous is a real turn off.. being undecisive is a turn off..

IF you put in some ross material in that convo,

Imagine what you could do anything with that girl, It would be so..

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by guitar_rockin

me: Hello, how are you
her: Good and u
me: I'm good, what is your name
her: Lyndsey and you are
me: Matt, I've seen you around campus quite a bit and have been wanting to meet you. Are you new here?
her: Yes
me: Are you a freshman or a transfer?
her: Freshman, what about you
me: Well I'm in my 4th year, but I'm not quite a senior yet. What is your major?
her: Elementary education
me: That is a tough major, what do you want to do?
her: Well teach kids I guess (duh, she was laughing though)
me: So do you live on campus?

Open-ended questions, man. Take SOMETHING and run with it. Don't play ping-pong with the questions.

You asked her about whether she was a Freshman and she said yes...you could've asked her how she was getting along on campus, what she likes, suggested some places for her to check out (maybe TOGETHER!!) but you jumped right to question #2 about her major.

You were talking about her major and could've taken the conversation into something about WHY she's into kids, tell a story about some experience you've had with children, get her to tell some stories, etc...but you jump right on to question #3..."Do you live on campus?"

The important thing is yes, you DID talk to her and you realized that she's only a girl, but (probably because of nerves) you couldn't yet hold a natural conversation. You can't just poke a girl with questions like that. When you keep jumping from one to another to another, it looks like you're not interested in what she has to say.

Plus it looks like you're desperately trying to either 1) find SOMETHING the two of you have in common to justify having approached her or 2) hit on a topic that will stimulate HER to take control of the conversation. YOU are the man, YOU lead. Not her. You lead her to places she'd like to go, but you have to lead.

You strapped yourself into the rollercoaster, which is an admirable act of courage. But to get the full experience, you have to ride front car. Then when you're comfortable wit that, you have to open your eyes. Then when you're comfortable with that...get those hands in the air.

 

[DJ_in_making]

AMAZING job... let that be a lesson to some of the rest of you, that it isn't that complicated, practice makes well....I wouldn't say perfect, but you get the idea...

 

[guitar_rockin]

Open-ended questions, man. Take SOMETHING and run with it. Don't play ping-pong with the questions.

I knew someone would point that out, because I realized that myself. That was probably the one thing I was worried about going into it. I guess in reality, I'm not really that scared to walk up to a girl I like and say hi, it's the conversation after saying hi I'm afraid of. I just get tounge tied and don't know what to say. I'm considered pretty funny around my friends(if you like dry humor) but I can't bring that out around them. I'm really going to have to work on this conversation thing. I'm off to class and sometimes I catch her wating for her ride so we'll see how it goes.

 

[skinnydart]

nice work, props for having the balls that many do not!

 

[backbreaker]

great job.... great mf'en job...

lol, that's alot better than I am now...

I'm just so damn blunt and to the point, girls think I am trying to be funny.