Newbie Question about first Kiss

[Steelie Dan]

Hi All,

I read the newbie instructions, searched the archive, and I can't find a plan of attack for the following situation.

Met a woman on Match.com. We met for coffee. When she came into the coffee shop, I did the first Kino by extending my hand out palm up. So far so good. We then talked. I used the various methods explained in the DJ Bible. I managed to keep 75% of the conversation about her. I also kept 75% eyecontact, and mirrored some of her body language. Man this stuff works. I was escorting her to the bar that she was to meet her friend, which was around the corner from the coffee shop. I told her that I really enjoyed getting to know her and that I would like to see her agian. She said she would like that. THen she said "Give me a hug." So I did.

She knows that I will be out of town for the next three weeks. I sent her an email saying that I enjoyed getting to now here better (mistake?) since I was leaving in two days. She sent me back the following email:

"I enjoyed meeting you too. I know we just met and
all, but damn, too bad you won't be here for
Valentine's day. How romantic, that oculd have
been our first kiss-he-he!! Oh well. Have a
great trip."

How should I respond? I think she took the upper hand here and gained some control from me>

Also, I want to recommend a great book for Nice Guys:

"No More Mr. Nice Guy"

AWESOME READ!

Thanks,

Steelie Dan

 

[MrBond007]

Ill quote an article from my only mentor: Dr.Neider from www.beingaman.com

"THE OPENING KISS


On first dates, most guys wait until the end of the date for the "goodnight kiss". Many others cowardly avoid it all together, or wait for her to make a move.

I tell guys all the time, you've got to kiss a woman goodnight! Don't make her do it - she probably won't. Further, it will tell you exactly how the date went, and if she interested in another. The goodnight kiss is very important to you as your dating skills grow.

The goodnight kiss is also very awkward for most almost everyone. However, you really want this to leave a good impression. To do this, you've got to be smooth and confident, while giving her a good kiss at the same time. Click here for an article on how to kiss properly.

You need to understand that women are waiting for YOU to make this all-important move! If you don't you're going to come off as either not interested, insecure, or just scared. You don't want to appear this way - even if you are!

Here's a little technique that I use that really helps in all of these areas. Don't wait until the end of the date, kiss her "hello" instead! I call this the "opening kiss".

"But wait!", I hear you saying, "Isn't that a little too bold for a woman you hardly know?" Yes - it IS bold, but not TOO bold! It sets the tone of the date, and removes that anxious moment at the end of the date where you both are standing at her door, or sitting in your car, and not really sure what to do next.

If you get this out of the way in the beginning, the kiss at the end of the date seems much more natural, and is even something you'll both look forward to! The key is in how you approach this kiss.

In many countries a kiss on the cheek is a common greeting. This makes the opening kiss seem much more "continental" rather than forced. However, just like the goodnight kiss, you have to time it, and execute it properly. Here's how:

Imagine meeting your date at a bar, or even at her front door. Instead of putting your hand out to her to shake hers, you put both hands out and take one of hers in each of your hands. Then, draw her to you smoothly, and kiss her lightly, but with a slight linger right on the lips!

This is a powerful opening, and is going to leave an impression. It says that you're bold, forward, direct and confident. Since she's not going to be expecting it, she will also not be ready to avoid it! This is the time you're going to "sweep her off her feet."

When you first meet a woman, you should spend some time getting to know her and establishing connection before you get her home phone number. This "bonding time" creates a type of intimacy between you and her and thus gives you "foundation" for the opening kiss. You see, when you see her for the first date, this isn't the first time you're talked to her!

In fact, by this time you've had at least a conversation somewhere when you first met, and you've probably talked to her at least once via phone or email. You are no longer strangers, and are at least casual friends. This is the only basis you need for the opening kiss!

In the opening kiss, timing is everything. If you hesitate before it, or act like you've done something wrong after it, you're going to have lost the benefit, and you'll spend the rest of the date trying to recover.

So, don't over-think this! Just plan it as part of your bag of tricks and use it to create a strong opening to the date.

Let's look at the specifics of how this is done.

Many times today, women prefer to meet for a first date in a bar or restaurant, rather than to have you pick them up at their house. This is an ideal situation because the pressure will be off, (other than the natural anxiety of the first date).

So, either you walk up to her, or she approaches you. In either case, you need be standing, (it's just polite). If you walk up to her, and she's sitting, just lean in and kiss her! If she's already standing, take both her hands into yours and pull her close to you. Then, kiss her.

The same technique is used when you meet her at either your door or hers. When she opens it (or you open it), and she is there in front of you, move in and plant that kiss.

This first kiss should be very short. Not quite like kissing your granny, but not a long, passionate kiss either. Your lips should be warm, relaxed and for God's sake - keep your mouth closed! You don't want to drive your tongue down her throat, or you're likely to never get a repeat performance! So, just lean in, press your lips against hers, linger for a moment, and withdraw. It's that simple.

Then, go on to say your usual "hello's" and make some small talk like nothing ever happened. This is a good time to use your "listening skills" that you learned from "Being a Man in a Woman's World" to see just how off-balance she is!

You can even do this at other times during the date. For example, if you're talking a walk, you can just stop her, spin her around and kiss her. If you've already opened the date with a kiss, you can make this one linger much longer and even become passionate.

If you're afraid of doing this at the beginning of the date, try kissing her on the cheek instead, and even throwing in a hug. Once you do this a few times, your confidence will grow very quickly, and you'll be on to the opening kiss in no time.

Be sure to pay attention to her reactions. Take the lead and set everything up, and then be ready for more at the end of the date.
"

 

[Steelie Dan]

Thanks Mr. Bond!

Most excellent information. I'll jsut kiss her like you suggested the next time I see her.

I love this country.

 

[DDV]

heh...

Man this stuff works. - lol... the only "stuff" that worked, was - "SHE liking YOU".
I'd say put all this SS sh!t aside, in case not to fvck it up with silly mind games, and go with da flow. No matter how you'll answer that e-mail, or what u'll do, just be genuine and have some common sense...
Good luck!

 

[Lone_raider]

You know, I've tossed around the idea of an opening kiss in the hopes that it would make the good night kiss less awkward or seem more natural. So I think I'm going to give this a try sometime. Probably I'll start with the European style cheek kiss, as I wouldn't be comfortable going straight for the lips in the first 15 seconds lol. Thanks for the article Bond

 

[MrBond007]

My pleasure.

Id also like to still forward you again to www.beingaman.com

Dr.Neider has articles, lots of emails he answered, a forum he actually spends time to answer ppl for free(unlike Joss Jeffrey or Doc.Love wathever).

www.beingaman.com

The books are relatively cheap and well writ ten.Theres no bullshit either.

 

[MrBond007]

My pleasure.

Id also like to still forward you again to www.beingaman.com

Dr.Neider has articles, lots of emails he answered, a forum he actually spends time to answer ppl for free(unlike Joss Jeffrey or Doc.Love wathever).

www.beingaman.com

The books are relatively cheap and well written.Theres no bullshit either.

 

[ManOMan]

What about if you try to kiss close, and the girl turns away or pushes you away?

I have had maybe 1-2 girls push me away during a kiss close, so I figured they were uninterested, yet they still call me up on the phone 2-3 times a week??

 

[MrBond007]

Originally posted by ManOMan
What about if you try to kiss close, and the girl turns away or pushes you away?

I have had maybe 1-2 girls push me away during a kiss close, so I figured they were uninterested, yet they still call me up on the phone 2-3 times a week??

1)They could be uninterested(90% of times)

2)You made the kiss ackward because you waited too much and made it too important and stressfull(10%).

Anyway, if any of the women I went out with turned away for the kiss Id just leave right away and never talk to them again.If they actually call you, like you said, just tell them you got better things to do for your new date`s preparation and hang up.