"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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New Years' Resolutions

Captain Popular

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 22, 2005
Messages
119
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Age
40
Location
TN
-Gain 30 lbs to weigh in at 220 (6'4'')
-expand vocabulary
-continue my life of a pimp (30 lays this year)
-after the holidays break up with 19yr old and date the 27yrs old
-Save a life
-End a life
-start a new SARS scare
-help stop illegal mexican immigration
-be more organized
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Slam_Jam

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 12, 2005
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Age
46
- join a volunteer organization
- start yoga, run more...basically, exercise reguarly
- stick my penis in a girl's ****
- find Bin Laden and a cure for SARS
- up my game massively (I'm waaaay behind).
- Take some graduate courses
 

Boner da Stoner

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 24, 2005
Messages
659
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Location
Iqaluit Nunavut
-start dating, ONS are killing my desire
-capoeria, parkour, JKD... learn the principles
-start my idea journal, it has been far too long since waking in bed to an empty mind
-quit smoking, quit drinking coffee, quit toking... the good times are past, they are now limiting factors
-create chore lists... there are things to be done on a regular basis
-It will be 6 months to the day on Jan 1 that I read the DJ bible, time to turn back the pages and see how I have progressed
-return to school, a man needs the recogniton of peers to be allowed into society
-Beat the **** out of people who DESERVE it
-watch a movie marathon
-stop sleeping in
-stop undersleeping
-recreate the magic, of old friendships
-Write my beliefs on paper
-Start to read again, experience without knowledge is a shame
 

SamePendo

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 30, 2003
Messages
2,393
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14
Location
At home
- 110kgs.
- 16'' arm
- 15k$ + monthly
- Finish paying my car
- Paint job to my car
- Pimp it up a bit
- Fancy up my room.
- Self defence ****.
- 5#+ per month (I{m not constant)
- 5+ dates a month (not constant)
- Go on holidays to visit places i've lived at, old friends
- Officialy change my name
- Study muscles, law, cars, and do my best to learn general stuff; discovery channel type stuff.
- Advance to alpha-ness.
-6 months no Masturbation Continue that ****, just as if i'd started on new year. I invite you to do the same, at least for self control, be master of your domain.

I also want to pursue other things like having a threesome hehe, and other ****, but they can change due to some reasons (ie. I get in a ltr), so, since I get serious on these resolutions, I wont put that.

5 years:

Meet Michael Jackson

He's alive, many people admire people of the past (or none at all).. I have the change to meet him, and I've really haven't done anything about it.
 

MrS

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2005
Messages
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- Top priority this year is my school, continue to get good grades, got 92-94%, going for 95% this term, and build up to the exams, don't peak too early as they say.

- Practise with my team to attend ESWC.

- Continue being a trustworthy, dependable, fun, charming, thoughtful individual.

- Get laid.

- Attend boxing training steadily, miss as few classes as possible, stay fit.

- Continue with the DJ mentality in all walks of life.

- Know no fear.

- Be a risk-taker at times.

- Be a MAN! (He knows where this is from).

- Let people I love know it.

Haha, bit heavy for 2006 eh? Well, there are some life "resolutions" there too.

What is it with SARS, guys? Bird flu! :D
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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