new to the site

[styles07]

Hey, this is my first post. I'm 36, live in San Diego, CA, and ready to make major changes. The skinny is this: two girlfriends total that lasted just over a year and a just a few one nighters that were very sporadic. That's it in all this time. I'm a decent looking guy, in shape, fairly successful and reasonably socially inclined but still overcoming shyness. My issue is periods of low self esteem and, at times, zero confidence with women despite more than one attractive female showing interest over the years. I'm realistic in that I'm average looking at best but tired of seeing guys whom, even though my confidence is low, I think I stand up well against (or sometimes better) with blazing hot chicks. I'm determined to start and finish the boot camp and am wondering if there are any other new guys that have begun recently. It'd be cool to share feedback with old and new members. Either way, it's Jan. 13, 2007. I'm tired of the same ol' crap. Onward!

Any advice? (or just shut up until I've finished week one?)

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Styles07,


Much RESPECT. Welcome to the army...and WELCOME TO THE WAR.

As you go about your boot camps, as you study the DJ Bible, also make an effort to read the ARTICLES on Sosuave.com. The articles will give you solid rations to sustain you AND get you started as you go through BASIC TRAINING.

Other than that, I'd also like to advise you to be careful of the DARK SIDE. What is the dark side? The dark side is to fall into the trap of casting ALL women into the role of Villain.

This is a path that I suspect many here have chosen, albeit, on a SUBCONSCIOUS level. Usually, they've wound up on this path, mostly due to the desensitization that results in thinking of women ONLY as things to be hunted, targeted, and captured.

No. Your real enemy is NOT women. Your enemy is any and everything about you that is keeping your from living a more rich and fulfilling life. Bettering your success with interacting with women is but ONE part of a bigger goal for men who can really call themselves MATURE MEN.

Whenever someone offers you advice here, it is a good idea to guage their mindset BEFORE you take their advice to heart. This is the best way to protect yourself from behaving in ways that ulitimately work against your personal ulitimate goals.

Examples:

If your mission is to find one good woman to add more value to your life, then pay close attention to the attitudes and mindsets of those who post to offer you advice on how to achieve this goal.

But if your mission is to acquire a HAREM full of woman to add more value to your life, then pay close attention to the attitudes and mindsets of those who post to offer you advice on how to achieve THAT goal.

Why? Because unlike other forms of Military training, in order to be a good Sosuave soldier, you must NEVER allow anyone here to break you down just to build you back up THEIR WAY.

No, son. To the contrary, you should take everything you learn here, then go out and PUT THEM TO THE TEST before you accept them as ABSOLUTE truth.

Those strategies, techniques, and mindsets that work for you, and are true to the core of the man you are INSIDE, THOSE are the things you make your own. Feel free to discard everything else.

So your mission, soldier, is to NOT become a clone of everything and everyone you see here, but rather to become the best YOU that you can be.

Be true to yourself (at least, to those parts of you that you really DON'T need to change).

Work on bettering yourself.

Work on finding out more and more of who YOU are.

This is how you become The Prize.

This is how you become a man that doesn't have to attract women by what you DO. Instead, this is how you become a man who attracts women because of who you ARE.

This is your goal.

This is your mission...if you choose to accept it.



March on!

 

[joekerr31]

sounds to me like your primary issue is that you see women as the prize.

lack of confidence around women is really nothing more than a subconscious belief that they have MORE power than you in the situation.

and in some senses, this is perfectly understandable. i mean, all men when dealing with women are starting with one hand tied behind their back. how so?

1) a woman can say the meanest vile things to you. give you that look as though you are less than a piece of sh*t on the bottom of her shoe. and as a man you have to keep your cool in the face of all that. If you fly off the handle everyoen will think you're moments from getting violent.

2) IF you use a womans tactics of sh*t talking and glares and stares everyone will think you're some kind of psycho OR an immature brat.

deep down a lot of men know this. they know that the woman has the upper hand because she can behave like a 2 year old and its acceptable, whereas a man must keep his sh*t together at all times or run being seen as a loose cannon.

but, despite these social norms, its important to realize something. a woman has NO power over you. she is NOT the stronger one.

once you realize that women are like puffer fish. sure, they can blow up and look twice their size, but its ALL hot air. thats when dealing with women gets much easier.

i've yet to meet a woman, even the most inane chatterboxes who throw sh*t test after sh*t test at you who didn't shut the **** up if I said NOTHING to her response and just stared her in the eye with a stern look.

i cannot emphasize how important staring a woman in the eye is. 99% of the problems most guys have with a woman (or even men for that matter) could be solved simply with this techique.

when you stare someone in the eyes theres no room for bullsh*t or sh*t testing. who they are will show itself very quickly. either they will turn away - showing submissiveness. or they will stare you down - showing dominance.

but 95% of women will turn submissive if you look them in the eye with a stern "i'm trying to decide if i want to get pissed over what you just said, man you better hope i don't decide to get pissed" kind of look.

now that said, if a woman is being nice DO NOT stare her down or you'll seem like a psycho. just do it when shes exhibited bad behavior.

most AFCs never look a woman in the eye, much less when she's busting their balls. they look at the tips of their shoes.

DOMINANCE IS DETERMINED BY EYE CONTACT!

 

[joekerr31]

oh one other thing.

shy people often think their shyness is hurting them.

IT NOT.

whats hurting them is no eye contact. shy peopel are horrible at looking someone in the eye.

chics love introverted men just as much as extroverted men - at least the ones who look them in the eyes!

 

[styles07]

hey

Thanks for the intro. I appreciate your feedback. I'm looking forward to making positive change. I feel more warranted posting further once I've begun to experiment with this info so until then...

 

[jonwon]

Just want to expand on the DARK SIDE.

When you obsorb this stuff and your eyes OPEN, it has a negative effect on you at first.

You stop worshipping pus** as you are doing (yes all AFC's are they just dont know it).

It has a negative effect.

All that BS been spun to you about the fairer sex, well when you de-programme that it has a tendancy to send men a little angry at first, some get resentful and HATE women.

Hey its normal.

Just understand its not women, its the shi* you have been led to believe and when its gone or re-conditioned you can experiance women better then you ever had.

I.E watch the dark side and dont become a women hater, this stuff can send a 'nice guy' over the edge.

by the way we all start some-where i was the biggest AFC when i was younger, even dated a girl for 6 fuc*ing months without sex, yep me lol.

That situation led me to find guys that where great with women and i am greatful i met them.

 

[RedPill]

styles,

Welcome. You sound like the rare new poster that comes along maybe once a quarter or so who is genuinely out to improve themselves.

I know you're itching to dive into the great archive of knowledge scattered about here, but before you do I've got a quick couple questions for you. How long had you been lurking before signing up, and what threads, past or present, have you found particularly enlightening so far?

 

[styles07]

new guy

what's up red,

A friend told me about this site quite awhile ago in a quick conversation and I checked it out briefly and forgot about it. There were some inspiring posts then, but I've forgotten them because I just observed. At that time, I had just read 'The Game' and so I followed those leads but that route's expensive. When I talked to that same friend somewhat recently, I noticed that he had pictures on his myspace page of himself with some hotties. I asked him about it and the conversation eventually led to this site again. In the spirit of the new year and having just moved (again) to a new city, I decided to try it out again but this time I actually registered and downloaded the boot camp pdf. We're all unique with vastly different ideas so I've been finding things that I agree with on all the posts I've read so far. Basically I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself, missing opportunities and continuing a vicious cycle. It's funny that I strive in every other passion (career, hobbies etc.) but this sector of my life has always gone unimproved. The crazy thing is that as a man you can't ignore it. It's necessary for balance in life and I'm tired of excuses.

 

[styles07]

Cool, I'll check it out, thanks.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Unplugging men from the Matrix is dirty work.

Welcome to the Real world. I'll keep an eye on you.

 

[Sinistar]

Unplugging men from the Matrix is dirty work.

Welcome to the Real world. I'll keep an eye on you.

...looks like SS is gonna need to order up another batch of Red Pills

All that BS been spun to you about the fairer sex, well when you de-programme that it has a tendancy to send men a little angry at first, some get resentful and HATE women.

Then I'd argue they haven't been fully de-programmed (ie unplugged). Because once we have [unplugged] we realize that this awareness comes at a price -> responsibility. Consider the example where in the past the AFC's HB *friend* went for the bad boy playa instead of him, the wusspile AFC got all p1ssed and his mangina started to hurt really really bad. Guess what, only the unaware are forgiven.

The unplugged dudes on the other hand have no excuse. They can only blame themselves for their actions and their corresponding outcomes. You can apply that principle to pick ups, break ups, attention wh0res, etc. If you find yourself blaming them, hating them or becoming bitter towards women - take another break and look inward again.

As you go through the boot camp and read the various posts I believe you'll start to see women entirely differently. You'll be using your eyes for the first time (see RT's sig). You can't blame them for not be attracted to you if you did nothing to attract them. You can't blame them for dumping you or flaking on you if their desire/interest has fallen off, etc, etc, etc.

Joekerr is on the money, always is!

When you're confident, you'll be comfortable, c0cky, funny and a host of other positive things which will benefit you both in life and around women. It's easy to look any woman directly in the eye when you see them the right way. You won't even think of placing them on a pedastal because you *know* that it is you who is really on the pedastal. And rejections, I say bring 'em on because they can either make you stronger or weaker - which is your choice, not hers!

Welcome aboard! MOVING FORWARD with your life is a good path to be on