"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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New to forum, need some advice with new girlfriend!

5string

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RickR13 said:
Ha, you think so? There is a lot going on, so you're telling me its too much? Recap;

* Divorced 2 years ago from husband that abused her (At least that's what shes told me)

* Had been dating another dude for 2 years, beginning about 1 mo after divorce. They broke it off prior to the passing of her daughter, and she dumped him again right after. This happened just about the time her daughter passed.

* Her 4yo epileptic daughter passed away at her house, she found her in her bed the morning. This was approx 3months ago.

* She met me about 2 mo after the break up and the death. She ultimately tracked me down when I was leaving a restaurant/bar and we exchanged numbers.

1st date with her was about 1 mo later, so really it hasn't even been 2 months since we had our first date. the first month was steady progressive texting, a lot of texting. Seemed harmless at the time.

She initiated the invites to friend, parties, meet parents, initiated texts, had little reluctance to my physical advancements. The physical/sexual part was excellent. There were no issues there. We are both definitely physically attracted to one another. My biggest regret is falling for all of the whirlwind dates, and not finding this site sooner!

She seems stable to me for the most part, until she flaked. I'm not saying it wasn't because of me because I believe it was partly because of that, although I did get the classic line its not you, its me lol. I'm not sure she is a total flake, as part of this was my mistake.
Look brother. I don't mean to get down on you, but look at what you just wrote! You made your own case for getting the F out. Do it and don't look back. And don't get down on yourself for doing it. Just do it. Just sayin' I don't think there is anything here other than pain in the long term. I wish you the best.

Stay on this forum and keep reading the threads. Alot of guys have been in your shoes. Read and learn.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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RickR13

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All good 5string. I'm ultimately looking for advice and assessment of my situation. I can relate to what you are telling me. I have been learning a lot since I found this site and its been a tremendous help.
 

RickR13

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Die Hard said:
RickR13
So really, except for her word, do you have any other "proof" that it is true? For example, can any of her family members confirm that her child died two weeks before you met her? Beware, the best lies are lies mixed with truth. For example, she might really have lost a child, that might nog be a lie. But perhaps it was 2 YEARS before you met her instead of two WEEKS...
Yes, I know for a fact. Don't forget Ive met several of her friends, and her parents. And we have a mutual friend that was at the funeral. Its all real.
 

Die Hard

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Okay, so you can write that one off your list. Keep on examining and see if there are other things that she lied about.

I'm kinda confused, though... You said in your OP that the child died 2 WEEKS before you met, but in your later post you say the child died two MONTHS before you met.
 

RickR13

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Die Hard said:
I'm kinda confused, though... You said in your OP that the child died 2 WEEKS before you met, but in your later post you say the child died two MONTHS before you met.
It was 2 weeks after her passing, not 2mo, that was a typo. It will be 3 mo tomorrow.

To be honest with you I haven't found anything shes lied about. Doesn't mean I wont be vigilant and look for those things, but for the most part she is stable and has been straight forward with me as to whats going on with her.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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