In an previous post I mentioned the power of gaining compliance by mastering your voice. Today lets talk about some other specifics that will compel others to FOLLOW THROUGH on a promise/commitment. In order to change a person’s future behavior, our initial contact must induce a feeling of importance, value and associate good feelings. A psychological “anchor” should be formed so that any thoughts of you trigger good feelings.
Negative associations decrease your attractiveness. When you say things like; But you promised you would, I just knew you were going to stand me up, can’t you do this for just this one time, Shouldn't you be started by now, etc all focus on the current actions not the content of their character. This self-fulfilling prophecy creates absolutely no motivation to prove you wrong. People often inject excuses to justify their behavior (I was tired, had to work late, didn’t really feel like doing it, not interested, etc). Directing your attention on their procrastination only magnifies reluctance, hesitation, and resentment.
Gaining compliance will require you to infuse the individual with motivational ego boosts initially. Statements of influential flattery create positive perceptions.
Examples: You are not the average person, You have always been sincere/honest, you never make excuses and have impressed me, your ability to be a cut above the rest, I can sense you are a person of, I admire your dedication, etc. These phrases tend to trigger internal psychological consistency. People often feel compelled to follow through with your requests. Furthermore, any deviation or deviance would create mental inconsistency. As long as your initial expectations were positive, compliance is attainable.
Your objective is to transform a casual offer into a firm commitment. Just because someone says they are going to do something (call, show up for a date, meet you at, etc) does not always mean they will. Here are some tactics that will decrease noncompliance a.k.a. flakes.
1) POSITIVE EXPECTATION STATEMENTS-saying a simple phrase like “I can count on you…” actually increase compliance as much as 20%.
2) AFFIRMATION-when a person claims they will do something, confirm it by saying any of the following; “are you serious, I am not really sure of how sincere you are, I am not convinced of how genuine you are, do you really mean that”.
3) SPECIFICS-agree upon a time, inquire when would they be most available.
4) OBLIGATE-inform them you will adjust your schedule, cancel your other plans, make time to accommodate their generosity, make reservation at a restaurant, purchase some tickets.
5) CONSCIENCE- make it known that non-compliance will result in consequences on your end. The last person to stand me up was such a tool, I had to pay the babysitter, wasted gas, took time off work, paid for two tickets, etc.
6) IMAGERY-get them to start thinking about the offer. Where would you like to go on our first official date, what did you want to do first.
* remember the law of reciprocity-become genuinely interested in others INSTEAD of trying to convince them to like you. People don’t care how much or what you know……..until they know you care first and foremost.
Negative associations decrease your attractiveness. When you say things like; But you promised you would, I just knew you were going to stand me up, can’t you do this for just this one time, Shouldn't you be started by now, etc all focus on the current actions not the content of their character. This self-fulfilling prophecy creates absolutely no motivation to prove you wrong. People often inject excuses to justify their behavior (I was tired, had to work late, didn’t really feel like doing it, not interested, etc). Directing your attention on their procrastination only magnifies reluctance, hesitation, and resentment.
Gaining compliance will require you to infuse the individual with motivational ego boosts initially. Statements of influential flattery create positive perceptions.
Examples: You are not the average person, You have always been sincere/honest, you never make excuses and have impressed me, your ability to be a cut above the rest, I can sense you are a person of, I admire your dedication, etc. These phrases tend to trigger internal psychological consistency. People often feel compelled to follow through with your requests. Furthermore, any deviation or deviance would create mental inconsistency. As long as your initial expectations were positive, compliance is attainable.
Your objective is to transform a casual offer into a firm commitment. Just because someone says they are going to do something (call, show up for a date, meet you at, etc) does not always mean they will. Here are some tactics that will decrease noncompliance a.k.a. flakes.
1) POSITIVE EXPECTATION STATEMENTS-saying a simple phrase like “I can count on you…” actually increase compliance as much as 20%.
2) AFFIRMATION-when a person claims they will do something, confirm it by saying any of the following; “are you serious, I am not really sure of how sincere you are, I am not convinced of how genuine you are, do you really mean that”.
3) SPECIFICS-agree upon a time, inquire when would they be most available.
4) OBLIGATE-inform them you will adjust your schedule, cancel your other plans, make time to accommodate their generosity, make reservation at a restaurant, purchase some tickets.
5) CONSCIENCE- make it known that non-compliance will result in consequences on your end. The last person to stand me up was such a tool, I had to pay the babysitter, wasted gas, took time off work, paid for two tickets, etc.
6) IMAGERY-get them to start thinking about the offer. Where would you like to go on our first official date, what did you want to do first.
* remember the law of reciprocity-become genuinely interested in others INSTEAD of trying to convince them to like you. People don’t care how much or what you know……..until they know you care first and foremost.