"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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[Need YOUR thoughts please.] I Keep Getting Soft Rejections!

PersistenceIsKey

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I'm RICH, DECENT LOOKING, and I Keep Getting Soft REJECTIONS!

So I'm having a recurring issue where I'll meet a girl, things will be pretty decent (at least in MY mind...) and then I will # close, generally for a functional reason. I'll meet these girls in my classes at university, and get in group projects with them/sit next to them. They are all friendly to me and don't display any IODs that I can perceive.

I'll eventually invite them to eat with me somewhere on campus (super casual, no big deal, usually a brief text message).

I always get a soft rejection (delayed reply with a sorry, excuses, etc etc) and actually as an example, this last girl I texted didn't even respond. (That hasn't happened yet, most girls will get back to me with some kind of excuse because they don't want to be *****es and I'm not so excessively AFC that I'm worth talking to and having around).

She seemed to be pretty cool with me, and always responds to my texts within two minutes. She liked my Facebook picture, she's very responsive via text, and she is really nice and receptive in our interactions. Exclamation points galore. But damn, when I just said "hey when's your last class end on Wednesday?", she responded maybe ten minutes later with "4:00!". Then when I said, "same here, [insert school restaurant?]" she didn't respond. She's never not responded within 15 minutes so I am assuming she just ignored it. I honestly don't think this is a big deal; what I think is troubling is the fact that this keeps happening over and over again with different women. I am the common denominator here.

I just don't know what is going wrong. Last year, I did the exact same thing, and girls were pretty open to doing things with me. In fact I just plain cold approached. I was fatter back then (I was a little chubby, now I'm relatively fit and most people would say I look at least average). I think that over the past year, I've developed as a person, learned from a lot of mistakes, and improved physically by having better work outs and a better diet. I also developed my identity, became a more congruent individual, and found my passion. I don't get why I'm getting worse results now that I've improved in so many areas of life.

I'm Asian and this is happening with both white girls and Asian girls. So I doubt it has a lot to do with my race.

I also have multiple passive DHVs. I dress pretty well, I'm here on a full scholarship, I'm independently wealthy (for a college student), I have a unique job, I'm in a fraternity, I'm tall, I own a luxury sports car, and I'm definitely not ugly/bad looking... what is going on here? Am I just getting unlucky?

I do realize I'm working with a sample size of like 5 or 6 girls right now. But man, why the exact same sticking point? I feel like I am just regressing. Last year within the first couple of months I got a model in my bed and at least made out with her. I number closed left and right and had the hottest women in my class hanging out with me every day of the week (I ****ed that up by trying to have sex with all of them, and not knowing what the F I was doing lol)

Why the **** am I doing worse now?

Any thoughts are very much appreciated.
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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d!ckmojo

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Who knows what you're doing wrong! There could be any number of subtle little factors, like in your body language I would guess, that is turning off potential babes, but whatever man, the solution is in your handle: Persistence!

Also, yeah man, I'd just be more direct if I were you. If you have the wealth and status, just carry yourself all c0cky-like and go for the quick close instead of dragging it out and trying to sly your way into a date.

You know what? Fvck them if they don't know what's good for themselves and soft-reject you.

They soft-reject you because you attempt to soft-pick them up. Just go balls-in hard approach, and then if they reject you, it will be a hard-rejection, but at least it won't be a soft-rejection lol.
 

PersistenceIsKey

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Well, it's a bit different in college. I go to a school where it's less of a "good thing" to be rich, since most people here are relatively poor. It's kind of almost a bad thing sometimes you know? Like if you act too ****y it seems like you're rubbing it in their face that they are broke.

So basically I have wealth, but not necessarily status. I mean, I'm not some social God that has 50 women on my nuts. In fact I've got zero women on my nuts.

I have no ****ing clue what I'm doing wrong lol.
 

d!ckmojo

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Ah, your problem is you don't have social status. You see, women will want to go out with you if they see that other women want to go out with you. Without having any women wanting to go out with you yet, you're having trouble to get the process started.

Trust me, once you start getting a trickle of dates, it will turn into a flood, you just need to persist with the approaches.

One thing you should do in my opinion is try to create a social group first, instead of just trying to isolate your target straight off the bat into a one-on-one situation.

Try to establish a group of people who hang out together, both guys and girls, and be the facilitator for fun times. Once you do this, and you have fun happening around you, your social status will rise and you'll now find picking up chicks to be effortless.

Often, the best method of attack is the indirect one. Instead of trying to attack head-on up a hill against an entrenched enemy, prepare favourable terrain of your own and lure your targets onto your territory where they will be vulnerable.
 

PersistenceIsKey

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Yeah, but I feel like my negative social status is self perpetuating

Like the community of guys and girls I hang out with are less than 100 people and I have a bad rep
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Kbomb

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This whole dating thing is all about how you show off what it is that you've got, be it wealth, status, intelligence, good looks, etc etc. I will repeat, HOW YOU SHOW IT OFF. This is a skill that needs to be developed and it helps to try and gauge your actual skill level. It seems like so far, you suck at it.

These girls flake because the IL isn't high enough, because you haven't shown them enough to want to invest time with you. Remember that women are always weighing options in terms of men, and attractive women even more so. They must have an instinctual gut level reaction that comes from the attractive quality of your manhood and your personality, which are both things that must be developed with deliberate intent.

You are young though, so it really shouldn't bother you. Always remember time is on your side, whereas the opposite is true for hot women. Hot women will fade after their mid thirties, you on the other hand will shine until your 50's and 60's, if you take care of yourself. Just go and make mistakes and get rejected. Rejection is the refuge of the strong.
 
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