Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Need thoughts on this situation

insomniac

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Little background: 2 1/2 weeks ago met a girl from the internet...very good looking and a little shy like me. We got on extremely very well, very attracted to each other, and ended up making out a few times that night. She calls the next day, I call back once later on in the week, and we go out again on Friday. End up back at my place and make out some more in the bedroom. At this point, didn't want to push it further (not interested in sex that soon), and she felt the same.

Sunday I called her and told her I was going sailing, and was seeing if she wanted to come along. It was a fairly romantic afternoon...made out again in various places, and again back at my place later on. She says how she's glad she met me and is going to take her personal ad down. Also, all the time she's saying how comfortable she is with me, how much we have in common, mentioning how's she told friends and family about me, showed them my picture (they all think I'm "hot"), making references to the future, etc. Sounds good, right?

I was going out of town for this last weekend, so decided to meet up on Wednesday before I left. That night went to her place, and after dinner ended up in the bedroom again (went a little further this time, but not all the way). So, I'm gone for four days and come back Sunday. Monday I e-mail her a picture of a sunset I took during the trip, and called and left a very short message that night saying I was back and to call me.

Now, it's Wednesday and haven't heard anything, and now I'm obsessing over it (yeah, oneitis, but it seemed like the beginning of a relationship) Plus, her peronal ad is still online. I'm just confused now. Everything she's said and done, even very discrete actions which couldn't be faked, have indicated she's really into me. I'd think she'd want to talk to me when I came back.

I've been smooth the entire time, except for two minor AFC moments: Once, I called her six times within a five minute period because her cell phone kept disconnecting. Also, she said she'd call the next night, but I called first to setup getting together last Wednesday. Despite these foul ups, she still changed plans to get together before I left.

I do think I'm obsessing over it because I've had so many women flake on me and never return my calls or e-mails that I'm paranoid of it. I'm generally not that upset because I always have a few prospects on the back burner, but this was feeling like the beginning of something. I wasn't planning on seeing anyone else, but now I'm thinking of making plans with another girl or two for later this week.

So what do you think? Is she testing me to see if I'll keep calling repeatedly? Playing hard to get? Should I try calling again? Mention I'm making plans with someone else if I don't hear from her? Just wait a little longer and get on with life?
 

Recluce

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i'd say wait till at least friday to call her. if you went out of town you can use the excuse that you just had a few things to catch up on, also you left her a message telling her to call you so you were just waiting for her to call.

if she's told her family about you then you really dont have to worry too much about her not liking you. sounds like she's just playing hard to get right now and wants to see if you will play her games and chase after her. trust me...she's just as nervous as you are about the situation, if not more.

its a good idea to date other people though. don't let yourself have a lot of free time. if she calls and you aren't there to answer, thats ok. it just shows that you were busy and have a life of your own, but she's still welcome to enjoy it with you. by doing things with other people you'll get over this one-itis, plus you'll stop thinking about her so much.

think about it this way, if she is just really busy this week and friday afternoon she ends up calling you...what are you going to talk about? how much you thought about her all week and waited for her to call? or how you did all these other things with your friends and she missed out those opportunities?
 

insomniac

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What has me so puzzled is I have never seen so much interest from a woman, and just a week ago it was still extremely high. I mean, she was really into me, and when she talked about taking her personal ad down and if I was seeing anyone else, she mentioned a guy who kept calling her whom she had to get rid of now (she didn't have any interest in him, but he kept calling). Sounds like she wanted to be exclusive with me. She even mentioned me coming to her workplace to meet the children she worked with! With the way we were getting on and the physical level, I don't see how there could possibly been any other competition. I know women can be flippant, but could she have possibly lost interest this fast?

Plan right now is to call her Saturday, tell her I'm going to do something fun and ask her to come along. Tough part will be not being emotional about it and not asking why she hasn't called back. I sure got emotionally involved with this one...but the timing seemed right. Oh well, got things going with some other women I'd been talking to in the meantime.

One bright thing I've realized...with all the women I've been interested in over the past year, they've been getting progressively better than the last. I don't even give a thought to my obsession last month that turned out to be undateable.
 

NewMan

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**
Tough part will be not being emotional about it and not asking why she hasn't called back. I sure got emotionally involved with this one...
**

You have to resist this.

Judge by actions not by words.

You need to take a step back or two. Really try and not be so emtionally attached.

I think it's a good idea to call Saturday. Just relax and put the fact that she didn't call you back out of your mind.


2)
Next time she's in your bedroom fvck her. Don't be so nieve - She wants to fvck just as much as you. So put the moves on her and don't be so "Nice". Nice doesn't get her panties wet - and that's what she wants.
 

insomniac

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**
Tough part will be not being emotional about it and not asking why she hasn't called back. I sure got emotionally involved with this one...
**

You have to resist this.

Judge by actions not by words.

You need to take a step back or two. Really try and not be so emtionally attached.
----

Yeah, know that now. I've been burned enough to know not to get too close too soon and always have a backup plan...but it seemed different this time, all the signs were there. Another lesson learned I guess.



I think it's a good idea to call Saturday. Just relax and put the fact that she didn't call you back out of your mind.
---

Already stepped back, and setting things up with other women.



Next time she's in your bedroom fvck her. Don't be so nieve - She wants to fvck just as much as you. So put the moves on her and don't be so "Nice". Nice doesn't get her panties wet - and that's what she wants.
---

Heh, I have been getting her panties wet...been progressing things more each time. I should have done it already, considering now that she may not want to see me again.

And, I think I've been too mean to her actually...she's extremely sensitive. Another thing...she broke up with boyfriend of four years six months ago and still has some of him in her collage of photos. Is that strange? Don't see why she wouldn't have burned them by now considering he cheated on her...but women are screwed up like that. Who knows? Maybe she decided to get back together with him.
 

insomniac

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Update:

Finally called her again today (first tried to call her six days ago) and she answered. I wasn't prepared for that...was just going to leave a message saying I'm not calling anymore, if you want to talk you have my number. Had about a 15 minute conversation. She's been sick the last couple days with flu (sounded sick too) and was sleeping, so seemed a lit out of it while talking. Said she had been very busy besides that. I mentioned we should get together later this week...she said maybe, doesn't know her schedule, etc.. Hmmm...at least it wasn't a "no", but then again some women can't say turn you down to your face. She did ask about me, what I did over the weekend, how my trip was, laughed at some things I said, asked me to resend her picture from my trip. So that was good. I was tempted to ask why she hadn't called back, but didn't mention it and stayed in a positive mood the entire time. I think I made one mistake by not having a specific plan for what to do if we got together, since I wasn't expecting her to answer.

Again, this is a girl I've gotten together with four times over three weeks, and each time we've been getting more physical, and she has shown very strong interest in me, and has made references to being together in the future (familiarizng me with her friends, asking to meet kids she works with, etc.) I guess I don't know enough about her habits of returning calls to interpret the situation, so maybe I shouldn't make too much of it.

Still, I'm feeling I have to keep the interest level high on her part. Any suggestions how?

I know I shouldn't call her or write to her for a while, maybe propose something sponatenous at the end of the week.

This was a nice slap in the face to get me out of the oneitis I've had and to keep busy with my life. I feel now I won't be as upset if it doesn't work out, and I have two dates setup with other women this week.
 

insomniac

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Another update:

Last talked to her on Sunday. Gave me a 'maybe' about getting together...told her I'd call her later on this week, and she asked for me to resend e-mail I sent before.

Didn't send e-mail. Didn't call her. Went out with different girl on Wednesday. Effectively disappeared from her life and moved on.

Friday night...she calls me and mentions going out and if I wanted to meet up later. Not going to, because 1) I'm ill, 2) she can wait this time.

Just by going out with other people, I pretty much got her off my mind...now she's back. Any thoughts on how to proceed from here? Plan is to call back Sunday, because that's when I'm free.
Next time I see her, I'm pulling back on the affection...make her earn it this time.

Before I found this site, I'd be calling her every few days asking why she hasn't called back, and I'd be rushing over to meet her wherever she was at tonight...now I know better.
 

zerocelcius

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ok simple...

You waited to long!!
When she said she really liked you, and showed you to her familey... was girllly talk... let me translate..I speak a little....

Lets see......... how can I explain it to you?

SHE WAS SAYING: "IT IS OK TO F@K THE **** OUT OF ME, SO F@KING DO IT OR I WILL NEVER GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE, WHAT ARE YOU GAY"?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SWEETY.....

My girlly talk is rusty cause I make them speak my launguage now but I am sure that is how it went.

How to recover...... call her say... " I am going to give you the most explosive orgazim you have ever had, and that is just the first one!" than hang up.

Ohhh and if you do this.... Your welcome!
 

Sart

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You are pathetic

Almost as pathetic as me. You read this stuff, you already know the answers but haven't got the balls to do what you know is right.

Hey, 90% of the guys in here a AFC who have no real intention of changing, that just want a DJ to tell them how to get this one chick they are oneitis over. You are transparent.

Mate, stand back, look at the situation and try, try as hard as you can, to play the game the way a DJ would. If you think it is hard, it is. It's really hard if you are not a natural.

At least you are probably better than me. I would be in te same boat but, to quote Lester Bernham, "I have been in a coma for 20 years, but it's never too late".

Good luck to you son.
 

insomniac

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What is this, a cult?

Become a Don Juan, become a Don Juan...be and think like the rest of us.

Just like every other philosophy or relligion, it has its useful parts...


Hold on...a friend called me for her, and I got her to beg me to come over there. I'll get laid tonight and make you all happy.
 

zerocelcius

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calm down cult boy!

you asked, what did you expect!! If you don't want advice don't ask just keep doing it your way. Nothing wrong with that right?

peace.
 

DJDamage

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sorry Man but it either sounds like you screwed up somehow (Sometimes you don't know when you screw up eg.. Bad breath) or she just got out of a relationship and she wants to play around.

You got to quickly into relationship mode instead of just taking it easy and dating. Maybe she sense that she "HAD YOU IN THE PALM OF HER HAND" and that spells its over!

Even when they are sick, if they are intrested they will call you.

The word "maybe" is ******** for No. trust me, she can't tell you that to your face, I guess it sounds like she wants you to get it on your own.
 

insomniac

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Update you ask?

Her disappearance? Another guy in the picture she thought she'd get on better with. When I went over there the Friday night of my last posting, she told me she was seeing someone else...but, she couldn't stop thinking about me and thought if she saw me again it would make it easier. Apparantly it didn't. After she told me that, I was ready to storm off, but thought I'd explore her doubt a little more, and at least get her to justify having me drive ten miles to meet her. Without getting too into "feelings", I told her the truth...I thought things had gone well between us, that we had a connection, and I really don't meet many women like her. She said she was confused, so I told her it'd be nice if it worked out between us, but I can't wait around and will be seeing other women. So, we hugged, and I said goodbye...I figured I wouldn't being seeing her again.

Wrong...she calls a couple days later saying she made a mistake, and that what I said to her "made her melt." She still wants to see me. BUT...she wants to see the other guy too! I don't have much of a hand here...so I tell her fine, but I'll be seeing other people as well. I figure I'll play it out a few weeks, show her a good time, not be insecure, not be jealous, not bring up the other guy, not ask to be exclusive, and see what happens.

So, we meet up a few times, fool around...and last night she asks to just see each other and no one else. Don't know what happened to the other guy...maybe he bugged out or she chose me over him...who knows? What I really think is the fact that she kept probing about who else I was seeing and whether I was getting as physically involved with them as I was with her drove her crazy.

No, I haven't gotten laid yet, but that's OK. It's only a matter of days now (she's coming over tomorrow) ;>. I'm not into jumping into sex, more interested in LTR, and if I can find someone who feels the same like her...perfect. Will see how this turns out...

Thanks for the advice, even though much of it was the "fvck the @$%# out of her" type (hey, I did try to get her back to my place that Friday...but she wouldn't bite).
 
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