Need some help here.....

[Sanctity]

Ok, i'll keep it short and sweet. Me and her, well, we've got a nice "thing" going for about a month or so. We had several meals together and sometimes go for lessons together as well (I'm in college).

During that period of time, I was acting rather indifferent towards her. Sure, I was pulling off some DJ moves like Kino and eye contact, etc, but I didn't really act like she meant anything to me.

So we had this party just last week and I noticed this guy coming on to her. Feeling a tinge of jealousy, I went to hang out with her and tried to signal to the guy (whom I know as a friend) to back off. But he didn't. And he was clingy, which irritated me. Sometimes she would go off alone with him and I choose not to follow. Other times she went off alone with me. Thing was I decided "F**K it. She's not going to get that much attention from me if she wants to play it like that". So I proceeded to hook up with some other chicks that I know. And I made sure she saw it. She hung out with that guy the rest of the night though. I never did see them getting intimate or anything.

Thing is, this week, I decided to go all out and to be more aggressive in going after her. However, I can feel some negative vibes and the signs are indicating that she's backing off. What's more, some of our mutual friends have hinted to me (not in her presence) that they know what's going on. And from the way they're talking about it, it doesn't make me feel really good about it. Basically, bad vibes again.

What do I do?

(and yeah, I have read the bible)

 

[The TallOne]

Judging by the first few sentences, you two aren't exclusive. Which means, she can do whatever she wants, and vice versa.

Your first mistake was acting jealous when she was talking to your buddy.

You should have blown it off, and not cared.

You should have went and talked with other guys/girls, and not give a hoot about what she is doing.

You come off as insecure when you get jealous and clingy. If your buddy was clingy with her, she'll get bored with him, and he'll be left in the dust.

They know when you feel jealous, call it a girl's sixth sense.

Your second mistake was that after that party, you went after her, aggressively.

She could feel how desperate you were, and she backed off. In turn, you probably leaned in even more, bad move.


What you need to do, is relax.

Go out, start hanging out with more people, let this girl breathe.

Don't be unfriendly to her though. Give it a week or so.

Most people are going to say "Next". Unfournately, I am not a big fan of "NXT", but, I think you blew this one up.

You live and learn, now, go out and start hookin up with other girls.

 

[MrCode]

The TallOne speaks the truth.

Back off and go for other girls, for you are showing symptoms of oneitis.

 

[Sanctity]

Wow, thanks for the response! Ok, what you said did indeed make sense.

And I just made the decision to next her about an hour ago. But now that I think about it, maybe not yet.

Thanks again!

 

[Interpol]

Originally posted by Sanctity
Ok, i'll keep it short and sweet. Me and her, well, we've got a nice "thing" going for about a month or so. We had several meals together and sometimes go for lessons together as well (I'm in college).

If you wanted to get with this girl, you should've moved faster than that. Even with kino and flirting you can still get put in the friends zone if you don't make a REAL move fast enough.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Did you both go to the party together as a pair? If you did then she disrespected you!!! If she went on her own then she is giving stronger signals to the other dude and she made her choice - leave her alone!!

Don't call her - wait for her to initiate if you still want to pursue!

 

[Sanctity]

Ok, I had THOUGHT that there was a little romantic tension right from the start. Eye-contact was positive and the kino was going pretty well too. But I think yeah, I may have got dumped into the LJBF zone.

As for the party, we went seperately. But at that party, what her body language suggested was that she was closer to me. When we were together, she would usually lean in close to me. It is pretty much evident (at least in my eyes) that she's "closer" to me than the other guy.

For now, I guess I'm going to completely ignore her for the next week or two. If by then there is still nothing coming from her, its a next, I guess.

In the meantime, I'll work on some other chicks I got my eye on.....

 

[fanatizmu]

most people act really good when they are out try to catch their prey, but once they get a girl they start to act AFC because perhaps they think that the girl is the right one. I don't blame them. Try to act like the real don juan you like when you first met and you will see that her interest level will fire up again.

perhaps be seen in the company of other girls, you are in college come on it's easy, just act friendly with other girls....

btw.... i assure you that what she has been doing with that other guy is a girl's way of testing us..... NEVER LOOSE YOUR COOL, REMAIN CALM AND RELAX... and you have passed the test.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

Originally posted by Sanctity
Ok, i'll keep it short and sweet. Me and her, well, we've got a nice "thing" going for about a month or so. We had several meals together and sometimes go for lessons together as well (I'm in college).

During that period of time, I was acting rather indifferent towards her. Sure, I was pulling off some DJ moves like Kino and eye contact, etc, but I didn't really act like she meant anything to me.

actions speak louder than words... by your own actions you might have convinced her that she is wasting her time with you...

"I was pulling off some DJ moves like Kino and eye contact" for a month or so? That might be good for an hour or so, but a month or so???

 

[Sanctity]

Re: Re: Need some help here.....

Originally posted by Crank_It_Up
actions speak louder than words... by your own actions you might have convinced her that she is wasting her time with you...

"I was pulling off some DJ moves like Kino and eye contact" for a month or so? That might be good for an hour or so, but a month or so???

Ok, your line of reasoning is valid. However, I'm not from the US.

Where I come from, things are a bit more conservative than over in the States and the culture is quite different. Certain aspects of the mentality of the chicks here are quite different too. Generally speaking, most of what I have read on this site were applicable and worked like they should. However there are certain things that are different around here. This means that I have had to adapt certain DJ tips and tricks to suit the situation over here.

 

[MrCode]

Where are you from, the Middle East, India, or somewhere else in Asia? I know things are more reserved in those places.

Just wondering.

 

[Sanctity]

I'll say that I come from the most modern and developed country in South-East Asia and leave it at that.

 

[VictorK]

Sounds like she didnt like you 'in that way' to begin with, or whatever IL she had, it wasnt strong enough to give you chance after chance to let her know in the DJ way that you want her. Girls with marginal IL give up if you don't act fast enough.