"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Need Situational Advice? *Dante's Official Advice Thread*

Dante420

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Need advice on a certain situation?

Use this thread to ask for advice and you'll get it. Be detailed.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Dante420

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IrishGuy23 said:
So I'm generally not one to look for advice on a specific situation with a girl. Ultimately I'm going to reach my own conclusions based on gut intuition.
However, this time I'd like to hear some of you guys' opinions...

Basically there's this HB 9 girl working in my faculty canteen/restaurant.
Blonde, tall, good-looking...and from what little I've observed doesn't seem to be affected or stuck up in anyway.

I'm caught in two minds as to her interest level...I visit the canteen most days i'm working in uni, and she has acknowledged me as a regular customer...saying hi occasionally as she's cleaning up tables around me, smiling and so on. I'm not however reading too much into that. The opportunity for small talk doesn't often arise as the place is quite busy, and there's always someone behind me in the queue waiting to order.


Last Friday though, by pure luck I managed to break the ice with her. I was outside smoking a cigarette and as I came back into the building I ran into her as she was taking an order of coffee on a trolley to some office. The lift was broken so she stopped me to find out an alternative route to the first floor. I had to tell her it was the only lift around. As interactions go hardly spectacular, but I was happy that finally at least the ice was broken. I finished up by asking her name...she responds by smiling and pointing to her name tag. (She didn't ask my name)

I was in the canteen again this morning for coffee...didn't really say anything to her, just a polite, yet wry smile and one in return from her. Again, as they were people behind me I didn't feel comfortable in engaging in small talk.



My feeling is that I can't accelerate quickly to asking for a number just because of the ice being broken last week. There may be some interest level but not high (or clear?) enough on her part for me to proceed. I realise I could just be being a coward and talking myself out of it, yet my gut is telling me it's not yet the opportune moment to strike, so to speak.
From her point of view, dating a regular could be a no-no...for me it's not such a big deal if I wipe-out, as I can always change where i eat on campus...but she doesn't know that!

I'm probably over-analysing, but you must agree this is a tricky situation that does require a little thought.

My plan is to perhaps up the stakes in the flirtation department...more lingering, bold eye-contact etc...and gauge her interest and my next move from that.


What do you guys think?
I think your paying attention to the situation a bit more than is good for you. Try increasing your social proof by inviting your friends into your work for some reason on a day she's around.

Initiate a conversation, you work with her and there should be plenty of ways to open up a conversation between you to. You could even start by asking for a cigarette. It's important to come off as someone with high value.
 

Dante420

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To cure oneitis is simple and it starts by placing high value on yourself and trying to obtain a fun lifestyle. Something to keep your mind on something.


And you should ALWAYS try to meet as many girls as possible. Have a little competition going on between them in your head, don't bring it much around the girls but be honest about it and your intentions.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

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