Need help with breaking the status quo.

[Phazuka]

I'm trying to overcome some issues that are nobody's fault but my own. I spoiled my GF and I became needy and now she's drifting away. So, I just found this site because I'm looking to turn the relationship with my GF around.

First of all let me address the Neediness issue. I'm the one who is needy, lol. But, I"m trying to change that by making friends with more women and chatting wid more women when I used to chat exclusively to my GF.

Anyways, let me introduce my situation.

I'm in a 1 1/2 year long distance relationship and I really want to spend the rest of my life with this girl. She lives in the Philippines and is currently married but separated and is going thru the annulment proceedings now. I don't know if this affects things but she was a battered wife.

We've been quarreling alot lately and she feels like I'm "choking" her....questioning her loyalty and annoying her by calling or something. Before, I used to call two or 3 times a day, now only once a day. I started out badly....I didn't know about this site before, so I gave her everything she wanted.

She is drifting away now and I need to learn how to let go and get her back so she will chase me instead. I need help breaking the status quo in our relationship so that she appreciates me more and I get what I want in return also which is more attention.

I need your help guys. I would like to post our picture but I'm not sure if that breaks Code of Conduct. (perfectly normal and casual couples pic)

 

[SharinganUser]

I don't know what to say. I think you should let her go. I dated married filipino woman too. Their great in bed, but if they ain't wearing your ring, then they aren't relationship material, and that goes for any race of people.

 

[Phazuka]

I don't know what to say. I think you should let her go. I dated married filipino woman too. Their great in bed, but if they ain't wearing your ring, then they aren't relationship material, and that goes for any race of people.

Well, she is wearing my ring. We are engaged at the moment but she's drifting away. I wanna try and save this relationship and turn things around even if I have to be a jerk to do it.

By letting go....you mean break up? We haven't had a serious breakup yet but maybe that what needs to happen for her to run back to me. Anyways, things are alot more complicated than just breaking up would allow.

How do I tell her in so many words that I'm letting go, I still love her and we still have this relationship?

 

[Vypros]

If you are in a failing relationship before you even get to marriage, why the hell do you want to marry her? Why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we cling to something so desperately until we wring all the hope and any chance of being friends completely before we move on?

You want my advice? This relationship is DOOMED. It's over. It's done. You're through. There's no chance of saving it.

How's that for blunt? What you need to do is LET HER GO, because once you get to this point, about the only thing that can save it is to go to marriage counselling, but you AREN'T EVEN MARRIED! So, get out while you can. Don't waste more of your life than you have to. Because once you marry this women, you take any problems that you are currently having and aren't resolved, and then you MULTIPLY THEM BY 10 and that's where you'll be after marriage.

Don't believe me? Ask around.