"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Need advice/motivation to destroy fears

Maxwell

Don Juan
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Obviously, my extreme fear of STDs (the result of OCD and terrifying High School Sex Ed classes; "there is no protection but abstinence!") is a recipe for lifelong celibacy, but obviously I'd rather that didn't happen.

But how do I attack the problem?

Using condoms all the time is a given (though they can fail, and can't stop all diseases, so even here I still freak out) but what about the idea of getting me and my partner checked before we take the plunge?
Is that a bad idea? Because I suspect that the time and effort of doing so would put off many girls and drastically slash my success rate, while giving time for the spark of attraction to die out. In the time and effort it takes me to get one partner to agree to a check and get passed that to a close, I could've bedded 3 others.

I'm aware that the threat almost certainly isn't as bad as its made out (or we'd be extinct by now) but the high prevalence of Herpes here (76%) and the fact that it's incurable and unstoppable by condoms is very intimidating.
And woudln't having Herpes also cut my success rate hugely? I wouldn't feel comfortable not lying or not telling a partner I had it, and I imagine most would run a mile on hearing this.

If I had a girl that was mine for the taking naked on my bed (not impossible, as my game isn't actually that bad) at this point I would be afraid to touch her, my fear would simply overpower my sex drive.

I'd really a appreciate a little advice/motivation from you learn'd blokes to help me over this particularly difficult and painful hurdle.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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doubledown11

Don Juan
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You need to relax.

What is it that you want?

If you want a 100% surefire way to never get an STD, then don't ever have sex.

Sex is a dangerous game. That's just the way it is.
Take your precautions and go about your business.

Wear a rubber.

Or abstain if you can't deal with the chance that you may catch something one day.

But don't wallow somewhere in the middle filled with doubts and self-pity. Go enjoy yourself. That's why you're on this earth and beat all those other sperm in the race back in the day.
 

COD

Master Don Juan
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read my STD article
 
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