Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Need Advice before I make a move. I've failed before

Beginner1

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2004
Messages
46
Reaction score
0
Age
45
OK. I went to a my 10 yr. high school reunion this past weekend and I came across this really hot looking girl that I knew back then.She is a 10. We were pretty good friends. We use to go out to lunch together a lot.

Anyways, when I first got there and saw her. She came over to me and gave me a big hug and one of the first questions I was asked was are you single? I said yes. So she said, we are starting a singles table, why don't you come join us. I went and got my food and she saw that I was at a different table. She then asked for me to come over there. I neglected because I was already sitting with a friend (male) and the wasn't room for the both of us at the other table.

So, night goes on everyone is just running around talking to old friends and I decide that I an tired and I had enough. So I go up to her and say look I am gonna take off. And she says, No, don't leave, Stay. And I give the eh!!! look. She then says "You got to give me your number". She asks me if I have a card and I say no. She then gives me her cell phone to type my number into. She also gives me her business card. She works with underpriveledged kids (Good Girl in my eyes) After I am done typing my number into her phone. She decides to immediately call my cell so that I have her cell number stored in my phone and she tells me to save it. I do.
Last thing she says to me is, do you want to see my son? And I was like Oh Come On Dammit. She then pulls out a pic of her dog and I laugh. I then say I have a dog to, and I am single also, you're right.

Now what I am unsure of is basically everything. I have crashed and burned when I try all angles. I have tried showing I am interested from square one and It hasn't worked. I have tried playing it off as showing a little interest and then retreating as if I do not care if she calls me. That has failed also. They usually just move on to another.

It is a double edged sword. Show too much interest, you are a desperate loser. Show little interest. They don't care really.

I am contimplating how I should interact with her from here on. I have her e-mail on the card. I have her cell number. Which one do I chose, when is a good time to do it and how should I do it?

It is just like Will Smith says in Hitch. "A guy cannot just go up to a girl and say, "I Like You". He has to have some angle to get noticed"

Confused,
any guidance is appreciated

Oh yeah I am 27
 

Gangster Of Love

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2002
Messages
2,578
Reaction score
66
Age
50
Location
Los Angeles
"hey, good seeing you the other day. Would have been nice to catch up a little. Let's get together this week. I am busy on monday and tuesday, but might have some available time wednesday evening."
 

realsmoothie

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 30, 2006
Messages
1,065
Reaction score
9
Sounds like she's interested to me!

I don't really have much advice that others here can't give better... but I would say from experience that you must definitely MUST show some kind of sexual interest in her pretty quick. She's showing interest in you first, so you need to take the upper hand and instigate something (I don't mean sex... you just need to let her know through your actions that you are not interested in a "friend" relationship) or you might be LJBF'd... the dreaded "let's just be friends".

Sounds like gold, man. Good luck and welcome to the party.
 

GirlCrazy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2003
Messages
658
Reaction score
1
Age
57
Location
Spokane, WA
I spent years second guessing myself in situations like yours. Is she interested? Is she not interested? Well she *seems* interested, but she could just be happy to see an old friend. You'll drive yourself nuts analyzing the situation. It might not even be clear to her what her interest level in you is...

Best way to tell is get her alone somewhere and go for the kiss. Otherwise it's all just academic. What do you have to lose?
 

Nighthawk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2005
Messages
2,080
Reaction score
29
Displaying interest levels isn't everything. Perhaps they leave you because you suck in bed, or have a weird relationship with your mother.

Just trying to help. This one sounds interested though. Leaving the singles club showed a lack of desperation, so presumably stick to that vibe.
 

Beginner1

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2004
Messages
46
Reaction score
0
Age
45
OK I took the step of making a move. I decided to e-mail her. I made it short and sweet.

It was good seeing you the other night, too bad we didn't get to catch up more.
Let's get together and have dinner next week.

Day 1 ----------- nothing
Day 2 ----------- nothing
Day 3 ----------- nothing
Day 4 ----------- response

She countered with a question saying, "When are you gonna be in my area again?"

This is ridiculous, I blatently asked her to have dinner and i got a question like that.

My mind is so baffled at this point in time
 

JoeBlack

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 29, 2004
Messages
179
Reaction score
0
Age
45
I see a few things wrong with what you did... Well, not wrong, but you could have done things a little lighter..

First of all remember... This is ONE girl... ONE girl out of millions. Stop pinning so much hope into it and acting as if she is the ONE and if it doesn't work out it will be disasterous for you.

She wasn't in your life a few weeks a go, so just go with the flow and try and make something happen. Don’t get all caught up in it and analyze everything. Its not worth it.

Ok, since we have that out of the way.

First off... Email.. It’s really not a very good way to start asking someone to meet up. It comes across to her that you may not have had the balls to call her straight up and also email is easily it ignore... intentionally or unintentionally. I get **** loads of texts and emails a day and I sometimes forget to answer some.

You should have called her. No messing about.. 1 min call, maybe a couple of negs. (not insults, just little jabs ;) )

“Hey, its (your name),

It was cool seeing you the other night. It’d be good to catch up for a drink this week, I have Wednesday free, how does that sound to you?”

If she says yeah, that would be good you could throw something in like..

“What you have to appreciate though is I am giving you a chance. Normal people don’t go around taking pictures of their dogs to reunions, so don’t turn out to be a physcho or anything ok?”

Then just set up the meet.

If she says no, she says no. Who cares… She gave enough IOI to at least make it worth a shot from you.

Also, dinner makes it seem formal and also from the outset it’s a long event.. 2-3 hours probably. Drinks is half an hour minimum so everyone has the chance to wrap things up early if its getting boring, which for her will be easier for her to say yes.

Hey, I am no expert, still learning… but makes sense to me from what I am reading 
 

Demo

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 16, 2006
Messages
14
Reaction score
2
Location
Edinburgh, Scotland
The guys have valid points man. Definatly stuff to take on board.

The IOI are there is seems we have have a little playette on our hands however. She is trying to get you to come to her. Keep a strong frame!!

You did slip up with dinner. DO something fun and crazy take her quad biking or bowling dude. Is there anything interesting near were you live? Just call her and say "listen im doing X next week you want to come along? i would like that"

You are already doing something you are just including her. Also its something unusual and you are also rewarding her for giving you her number by saying you would like her to come along.
 

kyphan

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2006
Messages
216
Reaction score
0
The first thing you need to do is get another girl's phone number. I have to tell you, having more than one potential date at all times is the only way to keep your sanity at this point. I was amazed at a date I had the other night, she's incredible - but it's one date and she's only one girl. There are more out there and there will be more after this girl. Never lose sight of that - there are more out there.
 
Top