Myth about younger girls?

[krd]

I've been taking a course this summer for college. So far it's been going pretty well. Today I had a conversation with one of the girls in my class. I asked for her number, saying that I may need to call someone in case I missed an assignment. (I know that's kind of tricky, but I witnessed my friend do it that way. I wanted to try it for myself). She said her house was being renovated and her phone wasn't working, so she gave me her e-mail instead. We had a nice conversation after class for about 30 minutes. She asked me what year I was in college, and I admitted I'd been going to school for a long time. Naturally, that led to asking her how old I was and I admitted I was 24. She said I looked really young for my age, and she thought I was 18. I asked her how old she was, and she said she was, indeed, 18. Looking back on it, I'd walked right into that one. The question could have easily been avoided, had I given her a straightforward answer like "sophomore/junior" or something like that.

I'd always heard that girls usually go for older guys, but my friend tells me that it is a big myth. This particular girl is Cambodian (although very Americanized--no trace of an accent). The reason I mention this, is because I don't know what the attitudes are in that culture about dating older guys. I'm wondering, in the future, should I try to avoid the question if the subject of age comes up? Would most younger girls find this to be a problem?

 

[vdk]

Remain mysterious. When a chick asks you how old you are it means high interest level. When a girl asks me that question, I always avoid it. If she persists I say sarcastically 'I'm old' (I look really yound for my age). It drives them crazy.

Ok most people have an 'age limit' before they get turned off. Usually older you get the more relaxed the 'age limit' gets. For me, since Im only 19, a girl is max 4 years older than me before my interest level drops.

6 years gap is pretty big for college since 80%+ people are within 4-5 yrs within each other. As for Asian culture, Im sure they are as flexible as us, plus you said she was Westernised. A big plus.

My advice is to go for her if you recieved positive signs. When you see her on campus avoid her. When she sees you, does she call your name out? Just make sure you do some tests to see how interested she is in you.

If you can act like 'her man', age wont mean much. Smile and look her in the eyes. Make sure you get connection. Then drop off the contacts and await her calls and intiations for contact. Doing this, if she is interested in you, will make her crazy. Also be careful in doing the above tactic. Is she shy? Or is she a 'go getter'? If she is shy you will more likely need to take control.

 

[1hepcat]

I dunno... my mom married an older guy and they're still together more than 25 years later. Don't worry about it. If you're 24 and have an 18 year old girl, great!

I think you're missing a couple of things. One, if you make excuses for asking for the number, you look weak. A MAN doesn't need a reason, other than he wants the number.

Another thing is bringing up your age. The way you said it in your post, it looks like you're apologizing for it. That's not the manly thing to do. You don't look confident. You're right, you shouldn't have brought it up. The best policy is don't volunteer information. If she asks, fine, tell her in an unapologetic way, or just say something funny and move on, which is basically saying "I'm not going to tell you," but she won't get pissed off because she'll be too busy laughing. It works!

All that said, she had low interest level to start with. An e-mail address? I wouldn't have wasted time talking to her. Some girls can come up with some amazing excuse, but in the end, that's all they are. Yes, I'm calling her a liar.

 

[ShortTimer]

Originally posted by krd
I'd always heard that girls usually go for older guys, but my friend tells me that it is a big myth.

What older guys usually have that the young girls may want:

1.) money (more then the guys her age anyway)

2.) status

3.) self-confidence

4.) experience at the game.

Yeah, being the older guy can work to your advantage IF you have the normal things a girl would want as well. I'm 26 and recently dated a 19 year old... until she dumped me for a 29 year old.

 

[krd]

I think it's really too early to tell, and a bit harsh to call her a liar. Some of the info on this forum is flawed, I believe, in that it advises you too give up too easily. Anytime she might mispronounce your name, doesn't laugh at one of your jokes, or averts eye contact for a split second, you're then supposed to "next" her. This girl really seemed to enjoy the conversation. Nobody was forcing her to keep talking to me. It may not mean she's interested, but she did seem to be a genuine person.

But I agree that perhaps asking for the number in that way was kind of weak, and isn't as effective as being up front with your intentions. Like I said, I'd witnessed my friend do the exact same thing in class. Feeling the pressure of competition, I suppose, I wanted to try it for myself. Doesn't mean I'll do it that way all the time, but for someone who finds such a thing so difficult, I took advantage of the context of us being in the same class.

I didn't apologize for my age--I believe I brought it up quite matter-of-factly, but I defintely wasn't mysterious. In fact I probably oozed "nice guy", something I really have to work on, although I'm not sure she's the type of girl who would go for the ****y/funny routine. She definitely seems a bit shy; although she participates in class, her usual seat is near the end of the classroom by the wall. But she opened right up to me when I talked to her. Also, it doesn't appear that many of the other guys in the class have talked to her much. It's likely I was one of the first, which is cool.

Anyway, I'm not going to worry about it too much. for now. I did what I set out to do, the ice is broken, I believe I was able to build a bit of a rapport. Avoiding her to remain mysterious? I can defintely do that, perhaps a little too well. But the possiblities are greater now than they would have been had I not talked to her at all. At the very least I've made a new friend--not old enough to drink, but that's okay--I don't drink anyway.

Short Timer, I have none of the things you listed (well--perhaps everyone has a little self-confidence), but I guess all that means is that I neither have an advantage, nor a disadvantage. I can live with that.

 

[1hepcat]

Originally posted by krd
I think it's really too early to tell, and a bit harsh to call her a liar. Some of the info on this forum is flawed, I believe, in that it advises you too give up too easily.

I will confess I am cynical at times, but I have heard every excuse in the book, even one similar to the one you mentioned. It was something like, "Oh, I just moved into a new apartment and I'm not sure what my number is, but this is what I think it is." I knew it was B.S. but I called just to prove it to myself. The people at this place that I rang had never heard of "Ann".

 

[krd]

Actually, thinking about it, you could be right. She may not have wanted to give out her number. It's entirely possible that her house was being renovated, but it doesn't mean they had to disconnect the phone. But I'll wait and see, though. If she starts avoiding me, I'll know that I possibly freaked her out. But from the way things went yesterday, it really didn't seem that way. It was pretty early in the conversation that I asked her--she still seemed to be happy talking to me the whole twenty to thirty minutes.

A more simple explanation is that she simply wanted me to know where I could best reach her if I ever did miss an assignment. I guess that's a consequence of not being straightforward. If I asked if she'd like to get together sometime, provided that she was actually interested, she may have been more likely to give me her number for when her phone starts working again. But I did what I did, I didn't make a fool of myself, or piss her off--I'll most likely be seeing her again, so there's no real problems.

I think even by posting this, I am making too big a deal out of something that is insignificant. I had a conversation with a girl in my class, she gave me her e-mail, case closed. People have conversations all the time; they don't all warrant a thread on this forum.

But I did want to find out if I need to be more careful about revealing my age to younger girls--if doing so could actually hurt my chances. As I said, my friend says that the whole "younger girl/older guy" phenomenon is a myth (He actualy has a preference for younger girls. I don't, but those are often the ones I come into contact with). I'd just like to be clear on these types of issues for my own future reference.

 

[tamale]

krd,

From a women's point of view I think you need to act like a man. The phone excuse is the oldest in our book. Her phone worked fine, but she didn't want anything to do with you. It probably because you come across as effeminate. Start being a man.

 

[jlujan]

I just finished a relationship with a woman 9 yrs younger than me, and no.

1.- I am not rich

2.- I am not porn star endowed

3.- I am not a con artist


Age is irrelevant, you can be 40 and be a better and more complete man than a guy 15 yrs younger.

Go for it.

 

[jlujan]

Oh, and I dumped HER.

 

[bman]

Originally posted by tamale
The phone excuse is the oldest in our book

i agree, you should build up some interest level. or ask her how she gets online but not on a phone.

 

[Player69]

On average, most girls like older men, as stated by shortimer

1.) money (more then the guys her age anyway)

2.) status

3.) self-confidence

4.) experience at the game.

The main thing is that you can't be insecure about your age. If you act like its an issue, it will be. If you make it out to seem like its no big deal, and that she should be lucky to date someone such as you, then it can work to your advantage. I have seen lots of college chicks 18-21 date guys in their late 20s early 30s. At first, I wondered how they did it, but after observing their behavior, I saw it was all about their approach, and how they handle the girl they are with and themselves.

The question does not need to be avoided. If she is interested, she will probably ask or find out sometime. I think that you worry to much about age, and that indirectly shows to the girl also making her feel less comfortable about the situation. Its no big deal, so don't make it out to be one. Make it seem like she would be lucky to be dating an older guy.

 

[NATHINNICE]

BROADS ARE INFATUATED WITH THE QUALITIES THAT OLDER GUYS HAVE.

LET ME GIVE YOU AND LIL TIP FOR THE CLUBS
IF YOU HAVE THE URGE TO DANCE WHY NOT GO AHEAD AND DO THE OLD MAN TWO STEP? FEMALES LOVE THIS DANCE BECAUSE IT MAKES THEM THINK OF THEIR COOL AZZ UNCLE. YOULL BE AMAZED ABOUT HOW MANY LOOKS YOULL GET AND IF YOU LEARN TO GET A LIL GROOVY WIT IT ALL THE CHICKS GON TAKE NOTICE POTNA.

 

[krd]

I actually don't think I have much of a chance with this girl. I talked to her again today, breifly after class. For one thing she's only taking classes in the summer and will be going away in the fall--to an all girl college! Her reason for going, besides it being a nice campus, is because she thought it would be interesting attending an all girl's school. Looks like she doesn't place much importance on guys and dating. Plus, I can think of several things I revealed about myself that I probably shouldn't have. Whether it made any difference to her is anybody's guess (not like I told her I was a virgin), but it may have reduced my chances a bit. Anyway it's good to know that age doesn't matter too much. I'll tell my friend--he'll be happy.

 

[jlujan]

IMHO, women are atracted to older men because older men are usually sure about themselves and feel very comfortable in their own skin, this happens to all of us "old" timers with the passing of time and the realities of life.

The good thing is that younger guys can also find this level of comfort with themselves if they work hard at it and let go of a lot of insecurities.

 

[Demon]

Cambodian broad? What school was this?

 

[Player69]

On average, people gain confidence with age. Experiance = confidence = attractiveness. On average, high school kids are very insecure about many things. Who they are seen with, what they do, what they can or can't accomplish... the list goes on. The ones that have their own stile, and honestly don't give a **** about what the others think gain a following of others behind them. Those that are insecure want an athoritive figure to follow that reprisents a part of them. Quite often, they will follow the ones who are more rebelious because they have the balls to take a stand.

When people gain more experiance with situations, they have a tendency to feel more confident with themselves, and more in controle. They can make better educated guesses on what the out comes will be, and that reduces the fears which are involved. The unknown brings insecurity, and if you can take that on head first, with confidence, you look like someone who has experianced the situation and knows what they are doing.

Lets say you lived in a primitive human tribe which was around lets say 10000 years ago. You see there is a big potentially dangerious creature near by. Would you feel safer hanging out with someone who has been in this situation many times before, and appears to be perfectly calm and in controle, or someone who is thinking "OMG OMG OMG OMG its going to kill us!"?

The more you are exposed to new situations, and the more you understand them, the more confidence you gain in those instances. That is one of the main reasons older men are seen as attractive. The money, power and status also comes with age on average, but the roots of that are explaned above.

 

[MDgood]

Yeah, it's the confidence thing, really. And there's also a status thing for a younger girl to be seeing an older guy. Girls in their early 20's are all about showing their friends how mature they are, and dating an older guy gives them that status.

My friends' kids are almost out of college, and they bring by their friends all the time. The younger guys are all flocking around the hotties, acting out to get attention, dressing to the max, making embarassing attempts to flatter them, and basically looking like a pack of hungry wolves.

I'm hitting 30, walk in with an attitude that they can kiss my ass if they don't like me. I dress however the hell I want and don't give a crap about whether or not my car is washed. I'm polite, but my attitude tells the boys that they are talking to a man. I dated two of these girls, and just nailed a third for the heck of it.

It's all confidence.

 

[krd]

True, I believe it's that confident, ****y attitude that gets 'em. I mean, how many times have you seen this scenario with a younger girl, or even a group of them: a guy saying all kinds of things bordering on nasty, and the girl wil say "Ohmygod, you're such a jerk!", yet continues to hang around him and laugh at everything he says. My friend, by contrast, is exceedingly polite to women, and everybody for that matter, and the fact that he actually prefers younger girls may explain why he arrived at the conclusion that it was a myth.