My tutor...how to make it happen?

[jcb1772]

Here's the context of my situation:

I am a rising college sophomore, currently taking summer school courses. I have had a math tutor for the past 2 weeks (same age/college year) to help me in my studies. We get along well, and she seems to like being around me. She will be my tutor for another 5 weeks.

While time appears to be on my side for a change, I feel like I need to begin to make some moves...so I plan to ask her to lunch next week. Should be simple enough.

My question is: if that goes well (as I assume)...what next? Obviously I'm aiming to have a physical relationship with her...I'm not sure what steps I need to take to get to that point (besides the initial lunch date). This is probably a dumb question, I just don't have any real experience in dating.

Help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Be friendly. If she wants you she'll let you know. Many times.

Give her a hug. When you have a question don't ask but touch her instead. Get physical (but don't overstep your boundaries).... etc. Same as other chicks.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

I saw this girl walking past me at the mall, she was smiling at me... or in my direction, I think she likes me. How do I get on a physical relationship with her?

But seriously, does she just tutor you? Do you two talk to each other outside of the subject of math? How old are you, how old is she? Does she REALLY enjoy spending time with you, or does she enjoy talking about her subject she tutors on?

Take it slow, talk to her first, find some similarities between you two, gauge her interest before trying to take her out to lunch. At the end of the tutoring session in 5 weeks, thank her, THEN offer her lunch for helping you out... get to know her well during lunch some more, manipulate her feelings into missing you and the similarities you both have in common. Offer her to hang out, outside of tutoring and school.

 

[jcb1772]

But seriously, does she just tutor you? Do you two talk to each other outside of the subject of math? How old are you, how old is she? Does she REALLY enjoy spending time with you, or does she enjoy talking about her subject she tutors on?

Take it slow, talk to her first, find some similarities between you two, gauge her interest before trying to take her out to lunch. At the end of the tutoring session in 5 weeks, thank her, THEN offer her lunch for helping you out... get to know her well during lunch some more, manipulate her feelings into missing you and the similarities you both have in common. Offer her to hang out, outside of tutoring and school.

We're both 19. We occassionally communicate about non-school-related topics on facebook (not often though)...and sometimes stay in the classroom just to talk, even after our scheduled session ended. Last week we stayed and talked about random things for an hour. And we laugh/joke around a lot during the tutor sessions. So overall it's still primarily, but not totally, a tutor/"tutee" relationship.

You don't think waiting 5 weeks is too long? I thought of doing that at the end of the session but usually when I take things that slow, opportunities go to waste. I feel like I've already been too slow in taking this relationship further...but like I said, I'm inexperienced, so I could be off base here.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

Well of course, if you two are talking during your session, tell her you're really having fun and that you two should continue your conversation later after that tutoring session. It doesn't really matter when. At the climax of your conversation, when you two are having the most fun, ask her out to lunch or coffee.

 

[jcb1772]

Ok, we had lunch together today. It went well; nothing truly magical happened, but we both had a good time and enjoyed each other's company. I'm pretty certain she is interested in me, although she can be shy...it seems like she doesn't have much experience in dating.

I feel dumb for asking this, but what's the next step here? She is still my tutor for the next 3-4 weeks, so I'll be seeing her pretty frequently for a while. But I honestly don't know whether I should just take it slowly from here on out (until the tutoring ends), or if there is a good alternative to get us closer to an actual relationship. Any ideas?

 

[Alle_Gory]

Ok, we had lunch together today. It went well; nothing truly magical happened, but we both had a good time and enjoyed each other's company. I'm pretty certain she is interested in me, although she can be shy...it seems like she doesn't have much experience in dating.

Take the lead.

I feel dumb for asking this, but what's the next step here? She is still my tutor for the next 3-4 weeks, so I'll be seeing her pretty frequently for a while. But I honestly don't know whether I should just take it slowly from here on out (until the tutoring ends), or if there is a good alternative to get us closer to an actual relationship. Any ideas?

Forget about the relationship. Its just you and her. Nothing else exists while you hang out. Focus on having a good time and pushing the situation further assuming she responds well to your advances.

 

[jcb1772]

Take the lead.
Forget about the relationship. Its just you and her. Nothing else exists while you hang out. Focus on having a good time and pushing the situation further assuming she responds well to your advances.

Yeah that is what I plan to do. I'm just anxious to take it further, but since I'm drawing blanks on how to specifically progress, I may just let what happens happen. It may also be easier for me to establish a truer relationship once tutoring ends, the school year starts, and we're both living on campus.