When I was a kid and to even to some degree now I always heard this variation from girls. "Lawrence you're a great guy, but let's just be friends.", "Law, you are so funny however, you are like my long long lost brother." or "although, you are a guy, you are a guy I wouldn't date." The common theme in all these sentences? No, not that every girl rejects me. Well, maybe, but the other more noticeable theme is that each of these sentences feature conjunctions.
After, a lot of thinking, I came to one very logical and sound conclusion. Every girl that I have ever came in contact with must of never been absent for conjunction day. Why couldn't they all be present for math instead? I have no attachments to numbers. It's all theirs. Most of all you can't be rejected with just numbers. Well, unless they used binary code. At least I can say, I have never been rejected by numbers/binary code. Yet.
I can picture every girl singing along in class, "Conjunction junction, what's your function!?" I wonder if they all simultaneously thought, "Hey, conjunctions will be a great way to put a guy down easily." The ultimate loophole. A way of saying, “Get out of my life” without actually saying, “Get out of my life!” I just wish guys capitalized on this before girls monopolized all the conjunctions for themselves. “Yes, I understand you hate my guts, BUT I don’t believe you!”
It’s amazing how so few words could just change the whole tone of the sentence. Everything is so magical and wonderful until BAM a conjunction. I was always waiting for it. Knew they were just lurching around the corner. Every time I saw conjunctions I had flashbacks. Grammar PSTD. “BUT, let’s just be friends!” After a while though, I de-soured on conjunctions. I realized conjunctions weren’t the problem. The word “but” wasn’t even my problem. Girls were/are my problem. I am proud to say I only date girls now who barely have a grasp of the English language. The less words they know, the way more attractive they are to me. It’s a pleasure!
I’m actually starting to use conjunctions to work in my favor. It’s a thing of beauty. All girls would be so damn proud of me if they saw me in action. I’m a conjunction machine at work. My boss says, “I need to do this.” And my reply, “Oh yea I would, BUT I just have so much going on right now.” Now, that my friends is an effective way to use a conjunction!
After, a lot of thinking, I came to one very logical and sound conclusion. Every girl that I have ever came in contact with must of never been absent for conjunction day. Why couldn't they all be present for math instead? I have no attachments to numbers. It's all theirs. Most of all you can't be rejected with just numbers. Well, unless they used binary code. At least I can say, I have never been rejected by numbers/binary code. Yet.
I can picture every girl singing along in class, "Conjunction junction, what's your function!?" I wonder if they all simultaneously thought, "Hey, conjunctions will be a great way to put a guy down easily." The ultimate loophole. A way of saying, “Get out of my life” without actually saying, “Get out of my life!” I just wish guys capitalized on this before girls monopolized all the conjunctions for themselves. “Yes, I understand you hate my guts, BUT I don’t believe you!”
It’s amazing how so few words could just change the whole tone of the sentence. Everything is so magical and wonderful until BAM a conjunction. I was always waiting for it. Knew they were just lurching around the corner. Every time I saw conjunctions I had flashbacks. Grammar PSTD. “BUT, let’s just be friends!” After a while though, I de-soured on conjunctions. I realized conjunctions weren’t the problem. The word “but” wasn’t even my problem. Girls were/are my problem. I am proud to say I only date girls now who barely have a grasp of the English language. The less words they know, the way more attractive they are to me. It’s a pleasure!
I’m actually starting to use conjunctions to work in my favor. It’s a thing of beauty. All girls would be so damn proud of me if they saw me in action. I’m a conjunction machine at work. My boss says, “I need to do this.” And my reply, “Oh yea I would, BUT I just have so much going on right now.” Now, that my friends is an effective way to use a conjunction!
