TheAsianLoverReturns
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2010
- Messages
- 267
- Reaction score
- 8
I was not the man women wanted.
It wasn’t for the lack of trying, I tried so hard. I just had nothing to show for it. In time, I associated pain with women. Where do I begin…
I had no one to teach me about women, I had a father and an older brother, they just had nothing to show me. I saw that my friends got girls I didn’t know why I couldn’t get a girl. I wasn’t too picky, she didn’t have to be a supermodel, just not fat. I wasn’t fat, so was that too much to ask for?
My friends dated the prettiest girls, I was the third wheel. I had no one. There was a girl that liked me in my senior year of high school. We worked together. At first she wasn’t attracted to me, most women weren’t. In time, she got to know me and started to flirt with me. I was such a shy kid. She even asked me out. We went to see The Titanic. I didn’t even have the courage to kiss her… I wanted to go out with her again, but she was avoiding me. I was too dense to figure it out, I was so happy! I had a girlfriend! The people I worked with would comment on how I different I looked. Finally she told me those words that men dread. “Let’s just be friends.” I couldn’t sleep that night. The pain seeped into my heart, preventing the release of dreams.
Like a fool, I accepted her contract. She continued to flirt with me, lead me on into thinking it could turn into a real relationship. I even took her to my prom and spent 300 dollars. I was a 17 year old teenager waiting tables at Pizza Hut. That was a hell of a lot of money. It didn’t lead anywhere. A week later, she invited my best friend to a cabin by the lake. I felt my heart break into a thousand pieces. How could I compete with him? He was 6 inches taller than me with handsome Irish/Italian looks. He had a charming and engaging personality. I was a wallflower, the shy little Asian guy. It didn’t matter, my friend could do much better than her. A man could only take so much and I told her I never wanted to see her again.
Years passed by, the dull ache of loneliness always by my side. I asked out a bunch of girls, but they always said the same thing. “I’m sorry, you’re such a nice guy, but I have a boyfriend.” Then at the age of 22, I felt a rage grow inside me, and I started weight training. None of my friends would do it with me, so I had to rely on Arnold’s book, The Encyclopedia of Bodybuilding. I worked out 6 days a week consistently. I didn’t know what I was doing and almost killed myself on the bench press once. I kept on injuring myself, but I did it. I packed on a solid 20 pounds of muscle in the first 6 months. I was ready for a change, I got my associates degree and transferred to a big university to get my bachelor’s degree. I thought, “I’m going to have more women than I know what to do with!”
That didn’t happen. It seemed like every girl at college had a boyfriend. In some of my classes, there might be a cute girl that was interested in me. I would talk to her and she would tell me about her boyfriend. And while my body looked much better, my mind was still the same. I lacked self-esteem, I lacked confidence. Even when opportunities were given to me, I was not able to capitalize on them. I remember after one class, a pretty girl approached me and started walking with me to my next class. I should have asked her out, but I didn’t… I was too damn shy. She never talked to me again.
So at the age of 23, the first woman I had sex with was a hooker. The sad thing was that I had to fly out to Las Vegas and go to one of the legal brothels. The sex was terrible, she was so loose. She wasn’t even attractive. I can’t believe I wasted 1400 dollars. I was so desperate…
The first girl I kissed was a girl I worked with. We both waited tables. She invited me over to her apartment to drink and we ended up kissing. I even took her top off, but I couldn’t seal the deal. To top it off she had a boyfriend… My first lesson about women. She was average looking at best, but she had a nice body. At 24, I missed my chance to lose my virginity with a real woman. Of course afterward she told me the same words. “Let’s just be friends.”
It wasn’t for the lack of trying, I tried so hard. I just had nothing to show for it. In time, I associated pain with women. Where do I begin…
I had no one to teach me about women, I had a father and an older brother, they just had nothing to show me. I saw that my friends got girls I didn’t know why I couldn’t get a girl. I wasn’t too picky, she didn’t have to be a supermodel, just not fat. I wasn’t fat, so was that too much to ask for?
My friends dated the prettiest girls, I was the third wheel. I had no one. There was a girl that liked me in my senior year of high school. We worked together. At first she wasn’t attracted to me, most women weren’t. In time, she got to know me and started to flirt with me. I was such a shy kid. She even asked me out. We went to see The Titanic. I didn’t even have the courage to kiss her… I wanted to go out with her again, but she was avoiding me. I was too dense to figure it out, I was so happy! I had a girlfriend! The people I worked with would comment on how I different I looked. Finally she told me those words that men dread. “Let’s just be friends.” I couldn’t sleep that night. The pain seeped into my heart, preventing the release of dreams.
Like a fool, I accepted her contract. She continued to flirt with me, lead me on into thinking it could turn into a real relationship. I even took her to my prom and spent 300 dollars. I was a 17 year old teenager waiting tables at Pizza Hut. That was a hell of a lot of money. It didn’t lead anywhere. A week later, she invited my best friend to a cabin by the lake. I felt my heart break into a thousand pieces. How could I compete with him? He was 6 inches taller than me with handsome Irish/Italian looks. He had a charming and engaging personality. I was a wallflower, the shy little Asian guy. It didn’t matter, my friend could do much better than her. A man could only take so much and I told her I never wanted to see her again.
Years passed by, the dull ache of loneliness always by my side. I asked out a bunch of girls, but they always said the same thing. “I’m sorry, you’re such a nice guy, but I have a boyfriend.” Then at the age of 22, I felt a rage grow inside me, and I started weight training. None of my friends would do it with me, so I had to rely on Arnold’s book, The Encyclopedia of Bodybuilding. I worked out 6 days a week consistently. I didn’t know what I was doing and almost killed myself on the bench press once. I kept on injuring myself, but I did it. I packed on a solid 20 pounds of muscle in the first 6 months. I was ready for a change, I got my associates degree and transferred to a big university to get my bachelor’s degree. I thought, “I’m going to have more women than I know what to do with!”
That didn’t happen. It seemed like every girl at college had a boyfriend. In some of my classes, there might be a cute girl that was interested in me. I would talk to her and she would tell me about her boyfriend. And while my body looked much better, my mind was still the same. I lacked self-esteem, I lacked confidence. Even when opportunities were given to me, I was not able to capitalize on them. I remember after one class, a pretty girl approached me and started walking with me to my next class. I should have asked her out, but I didn’t… I was too damn shy. She never talked to me again.
So at the age of 23, the first woman I had sex with was a hooker. The sad thing was that I had to fly out to Las Vegas and go to one of the legal brothels. The sex was terrible, she was so loose. She wasn’t even attractive. I can’t believe I wasted 1400 dollars. I was so desperate…
The first girl I kissed was a girl I worked with. We both waited tables. She invited me over to her apartment to drink and we ended up kissing. I even took her top off, but I couldn’t seal the deal. To top it off she had a boyfriend… My first lesson about women. She was average looking at best, but she had a nice body. At 24, I missed my chance to lose my virginity with a real woman. Of course afterward she told me the same words. “Let’s just be friends.”
