huisy
Don Juan
I have recently been promoted to Sales Manager, and have the daunting task of training 30 people to selling our product like I do. I recently boiled down my sales technique to a few principles, and discovered oddly that these principles apply superbly to the field of attracting women. As I'm a big fan of taking knowledge from one part of life and applying it to another, I thought I'd share my principles:
The Theory of Reality
Reality isn't the way you want things to be, nor is it the way they appear to be. It is simply the way things are. You can either aknowledge reality and let it work for you, or it will automatically work against you. This seems very simple, but if I could identify only one factor that makes people fail more often than any other, it is the inability to see reality as it is. It took me a while to aknowledge reality. I went through my idealistic stage of "I can pull any women I want" and saw many others practice positive mental attitudes, and confidence boosters, only to continue to fail. I decided that I must either face reality or get out of the game completely. Remember to avoid illusions. Always focus on reality. This theory is the cornerstone of my theories, and is by far the most important.
Sustain a Positive Attitude, Assume a Negative Result
This theory really helps you see the big picture. Having a positive mental attitude alone is totally useless unless you have the ammunition to back it up. If you have the ammunition, a positive attitude will develop. This is reality, accept it. With this in mind, this theory helps you with rejection. The theory may seem odd: Why have a positive attitude if you expect to fail?, but it makes perfect sense. Let me explain. Whenever you enter a "sales" situation (almost any situation in life can be a sales situation, particularly picking up women) don't feel that you can't make the sale, just expect that you realistically won't make the sale. The difference is subtle, but the difference between success and failure often is subtle. You go into all your deals expecting them to fail because the reality is that no matter how well prepared you are, only a small percentage of deals actually close. The reason for this is simple: There are an endless number of factors out of your control, and only a few within your control. Factors such as her situation, unwanted 3rd party opinion, ulterior motives. You cannot manufacture a positive mental attitude, only gain one through succeeding. In order to stop your ego and self-image being shattered, be rational enough to accept reality. That is, most deals simply do not close. After using this theory, I was blissfully successful, more so than at any time before. It's important to realise though that the vast majority of the time, I failed to close, and moved on. I cannot emphasise enough that this will only work if you're prepared to suceed. It doesn't work if you use it as an excuse to fail in a situation where the factors are such that you can succeed. To tell yourself that you assume to fail you're going to fail without being prepared and confident that you'll succeed if the factors are within your control, is about as useful as standing in front of a mirror and telling yourself, without foundation, that you have a positive mental attitude. Each failure is an experience in learning factors that are within and out of your control. Learn the factors, and you needn't waste more time on a woman than you need to know whether the factors are within your control. Over time, you'll increase your average, and reduce time spent on deals you cannot close.
The Theory of Relativity
Few people take time to consider "facts" in a relative light. You cannot decide on a course of action until it has first been carefully defined. Let me give you an example. Consider honesty. Without exception, everybody I've ever met has defined "honesty" to suit him/herself. I'm yet to meet a person who considers themself dishonest. I can bet you haven't either. On the other hand, I bet you've met many people you consider to be dishonest. We all have in our minds, a map of reality. This map has been built by us, and is a result of our own experience. As such, everybody's map is different. None of these maps represent the actual territory, they are maps. Learn to spot definitions people give as relative, even when they seem like fact ("honesty, success, winning, love, attraction"). Remember this: The map is not the territory.. Spot relativity and get to the facts.
Theory of Relevance
No matter how interesting something is to you, no matter how true it is, no matter how much it might please you, your primary factor to consider is is this relevant to what I'm trying to accomplish?. It is important to work only on those things that help you accomplish your goal. When attracting women (and in many other situations), I used to spend a lot of energy getting excited over things that were not relevant. I discussed war and politics with women I was trying to get into bed with. I talked about the things I liked to do, and stuff that bored the hell out of the other women. I finaly qualified everything by whether or not it would help me get closer to getting into bed with this woman. It takes experience to know what factors are relevant and what ones aren't. Many posts on this site can help. As an example, women often told me they liked my clothes. A discussion of my clothes wasn't relevant. What was relevant was whether I could get this girls number and kiss her. The theory of relevance helps you cut through gold diggers and go to those who are genuinely interested. Keep both you and your target's thoughts only on relevant factors.
Thirty Year Theory
Most people block from their concious minds that they are going to die. I figured that, more or less, I have thiry years to strut my stuff, then I'm too old. This number will be different for all of you, but pick a number. It may stretch to 50 years, but it may also be cut to one. The important factor is that you will die, so get on with it for God's sake! If you only have thirty years left, you had better go out and get all of the good things as quickly as possible. You acknowledge the reality that your time is limited, so you had better go out and get all you can. When the game of life ends, I don't want to be caught begging for an extra innings. Nobody get's an extra innings. Go get it!
Mass Destruction Theory
This theory states that it is stupid to take yourself too seriously, because years from now it won't make the slightest bit of difference. In about 50 Billion years, the sun will explode, destroying all life on the planet, and all neighbouring planets. in about 10 x 10^20 years, the entire universe will collapse, and all life will die out. Given this, does it really matter that a woman embarrased you in front of your friends by saying you're ugly? Hell no! This theory may seem to contradict the Thirty Year Theory, but they go hand in hand. Just because you are playing a game of football for fun, doesn't mean you don't try to win. I consider life as a big game of poker. On the table is a limited amount of chips, and each player enters for an unknown period of time. He try's to gather as many chips as he can. These chips can then be exchanged for all the things he enjoys and he spends them over his 30 years. Knowing this, there's no need to treat every move as life-or-death, play agressive and take chances. The reality is that there's no way you're going to leave this game alive, so why play conservatively? Have fun! Learning to not take yourself seriously will improve your success no end. One rule of life is that The more effort a person puts into pressing for a conclusion, the less likely he is to get it. So play hard, but if you fail occasionaly (and you WILL fail), fvck it. Put in your ante, and play the next round. You could be finished soon.
And so ends the theories. I've adapted them slightly for the dating game, but these certainly apply to life in general. Use these theories, and you will see your results increase. It certainly worked for me. Remember that reading confidence posts on this site is all very well, but it's a lot like reading "How to play poker" while you're at the poker table of life. You only get one game, and you're going to die at the end of it, so just play it!
The Theory of Reality
Reality isn't the way you want things to be, nor is it the way they appear to be. It is simply the way things are. You can either aknowledge reality and let it work for you, or it will automatically work against you. This seems very simple, but if I could identify only one factor that makes people fail more often than any other, it is the inability to see reality as it is. It took me a while to aknowledge reality. I went through my idealistic stage of "I can pull any women I want" and saw many others practice positive mental attitudes, and confidence boosters, only to continue to fail. I decided that I must either face reality or get out of the game completely. Remember to avoid illusions. Always focus on reality. This theory is the cornerstone of my theories, and is by far the most important.
Sustain a Positive Attitude, Assume a Negative Result
This theory really helps you see the big picture. Having a positive mental attitude alone is totally useless unless you have the ammunition to back it up. If you have the ammunition, a positive attitude will develop. This is reality, accept it. With this in mind, this theory helps you with rejection. The theory may seem odd: Why have a positive attitude if you expect to fail?, but it makes perfect sense. Let me explain. Whenever you enter a "sales" situation (almost any situation in life can be a sales situation, particularly picking up women) don't feel that you can't make the sale, just expect that you realistically won't make the sale. The difference is subtle, but the difference between success and failure often is subtle. You go into all your deals expecting them to fail because the reality is that no matter how well prepared you are, only a small percentage of deals actually close. The reason for this is simple: There are an endless number of factors out of your control, and only a few within your control. Factors such as her situation, unwanted 3rd party opinion, ulterior motives. You cannot manufacture a positive mental attitude, only gain one through succeeding. In order to stop your ego and self-image being shattered, be rational enough to accept reality. That is, most deals simply do not close. After using this theory, I was blissfully successful, more so than at any time before. It's important to realise though that the vast majority of the time, I failed to close, and moved on. I cannot emphasise enough that this will only work if you're prepared to suceed. It doesn't work if you use it as an excuse to fail in a situation where the factors are such that you can succeed. To tell yourself that you assume to fail you're going to fail without being prepared and confident that you'll succeed if the factors are within your control, is about as useful as standing in front of a mirror and telling yourself, without foundation, that you have a positive mental attitude. Each failure is an experience in learning factors that are within and out of your control. Learn the factors, and you needn't waste more time on a woman than you need to know whether the factors are within your control. Over time, you'll increase your average, and reduce time spent on deals you cannot close.
The Theory of Relativity
Few people take time to consider "facts" in a relative light. You cannot decide on a course of action until it has first been carefully defined. Let me give you an example. Consider honesty. Without exception, everybody I've ever met has defined "honesty" to suit him/herself. I'm yet to meet a person who considers themself dishonest. I can bet you haven't either. On the other hand, I bet you've met many people you consider to be dishonest. We all have in our minds, a map of reality. This map has been built by us, and is a result of our own experience. As such, everybody's map is different. None of these maps represent the actual territory, they are maps. Learn to spot definitions people give as relative, even when they seem like fact ("honesty, success, winning, love, attraction"). Remember this: The map is not the territory.. Spot relativity and get to the facts.
Theory of Relevance
No matter how interesting something is to you, no matter how true it is, no matter how much it might please you, your primary factor to consider is is this relevant to what I'm trying to accomplish?. It is important to work only on those things that help you accomplish your goal. When attracting women (and in many other situations), I used to spend a lot of energy getting excited over things that were not relevant. I discussed war and politics with women I was trying to get into bed with. I talked about the things I liked to do, and stuff that bored the hell out of the other women. I finaly qualified everything by whether or not it would help me get closer to getting into bed with this woman. It takes experience to know what factors are relevant and what ones aren't. Many posts on this site can help. As an example, women often told me they liked my clothes. A discussion of my clothes wasn't relevant. What was relevant was whether I could get this girls number and kiss her. The theory of relevance helps you cut through gold diggers and go to those who are genuinely interested. Keep both you and your target's thoughts only on relevant factors.
Thirty Year Theory
Most people block from their concious minds that they are going to die. I figured that, more or less, I have thiry years to strut my stuff, then I'm too old. This number will be different for all of you, but pick a number. It may stretch to 50 years, but it may also be cut to one. The important factor is that you will die, so get on with it for God's sake! If you only have thirty years left, you had better go out and get all of the good things as quickly as possible. You acknowledge the reality that your time is limited, so you had better go out and get all you can. When the game of life ends, I don't want to be caught begging for an extra innings. Nobody get's an extra innings. Go get it!
Mass Destruction Theory
This theory states that it is stupid to take yourself too seriously, because years from now it won't make the slightest bit of difference. In about 50 Billion years, the sun will explode, destroying all life on the planet, and all neighbouring planets. in about 10 x 10^20 years, the entire universe will collapse, and all life will die out. Given this, does it really matter that a woman embarrased you in front of your friends by saying you're ugly? Hell no! This theory may seem to contradict the Thirty Year Theory, but they go hand in hand. Just because you are playing a game of football for fun, doesn't mean you don't try to win. I consider life as a big game of poker. On the table is a limited amount of chips, and each player enters for an unknown period of time. He try's to gather as many chips as he can. These chips can then be exchanged for all the things he enjoys and he spends them over his 30 years. Knowing this, there's no need to treat every move as life-or-death, play agressive and take chances. The reality is that there's no way you're going to leave this game alive, so why play conservatively? Have fun! Learning to not take yourself seriously will improve your success no end. One rule of life is that The more effort a person puts into pressing for a conclusion, the less likely he is to get it. So play hard, but if you fail occasionaly (and you WILL fail), fvck it. Put in your ante, and play the next round. You could be finished soon.
And so ends the theories. I've adapted them slightly for the dating game, but these certainly apply to life in general. Use these theories, and you will see your results increase. It certainly worked for me. Remember that reading confidence posts on this site is all very well, but it's a lot like reading "How to play poker" while you're at the poker table of life. You only get one game, and you're going to die at the end of it, so just play it!
