My personnal quest to self confidence

[Shivastorm_88]

A few weeks ago, I made myself a list of all the aspects of myself I considered to be weak points, and how I wanted to change them. I then planned to work on them slowly, one at a time to improve them. That was three weeks ago and I haven't done jack squat yet about it... And today, while walking back home, I did something I never thougth I could do; it's pretty hot outside right now and my water bottle was empty so I entered a bar topless(after much considerations while walking towards it) to get my bottle filled. It might sound stupid, but I was so anxious about doing it, I almost chickened out but at the end I thought to myself: "**** it, if I can't even go for water I will never be able to improve myself, I have to stand for myself and do it!" (I was proud of it, OK!? )

So yeah after I got my refill I decided to be more radical about my list. Starting today (day one, week one), for four weeks I will work, by different means, on every aspect in my list, and then post my results here for your
feedback. Now don't expect anything super fancy, I am still at a level where I can barely hold eye contact. So I will first post my list, and since I plan on resting at home tonight (harsh day at work), I will post all I did today. This will go on for a month, and after a month, I will keep working on what I am not comfortable enough, and add new things as well.

A good thing thats to my advantage is my job. I work 8 to 5 monday to friday, and I wash windows, but it's residential washing. So I go to people's houses and wash their windows. Great for socializing with customers

The List[/size]
• Lack of confidence = This is the big one, and I will improve this one by improving all the following aspects
• Don’t talk with strangers = I think it's clearly stated, I can't talk to random strangers.
• Don’t hold eye contact long enough = I do manage to hold eye contact decently well, but once the contact is set for a little while, instead of smiling at the person and saying hi, I look away, so I need to practice that
• Over analyzing things, don’t act wild enough = Too often I don't act on impulse and I don't do something I'd like to do because it brings me out of my comfort zone; I have to learn to force myself doing things that I want to do, but that take a level of guts to do it
• Don’t speak my mind enough = If something is bugging me, make sure it's changed
• Unable to dance = Probably partially due to lack of confidence and what others think of me, so I will try to watch a few videos per week on Youtube and practice them at home to learn basic moves and next party I go with I'll force myself to dance a little
• Waste too much time on the computer = Wow I spend so much time on this damn machine it's incredible. MSN and Warcraft 3 (DoTA if anyone wants to know) takes so much time!
• Bad face hygiene =Try to put some lotion on my face everyday
• Talk too much about myself =Talk about other stuff then me!

The weekly goals (week 1)[/size]
These goals might sound stupid but it's a big step for me right now, so don't judge me
• Introduce myself to as many customers as possible (minimum this week, I get around 10 customers per week) (say my name + handshake, nothing more)
• Start random gym conversation with at least 1 person at my gym
• Hold eye contact with ALL customers while talking to them and everyone that I can at the gym. No hi for this week unless I feel pumped enough. I don't want to force it out too much for this week.
• Once per week, figure something that I really want to do, and DO IT!
• Read one book
• Draw 5 different things
• View one youtube dance video, practice it
• Use lotion daily
• When talking with customers, try to talk about other stuff then boring ole' me



WEEK 1, DAY 1

This here is all the stuff that I did working toward my weekly goals. Bad day, but I haden't decided yet to work on those goals in a radical manner. Also, it won't always be a lot of exciting stuff, but for me it's already hard enough so it's exciting for me eventually it will get juicier.

1) Didn't introduce myself to any customers (chickened out twice, forgot once), BUT! I did give them a handshake to all three of them when I left their house, which was a first for me!
2) With two of the customers I had small talks with them, and it was actually not about me. The third one I forgot about that new rule and I started talking about myself way too much when he asked what I wanted to do later in life V_V but still, 2 outta 3 is quite good
3) While walking back home, held eye contact with everyone that I could.
4) Since it's an off day on my workout schedule, I will finish my book (around 60 pages left) and draw something as well... Don't know what yet, but I WILL do one This way I shouldn't waste too much time on the computer

So yea that's all for today, any feedback would be greatly appreciated; it might look stupid, retarded, whatever, but for me it's quite hard to do

 

[Shivastorm_88]

for some reason I can't edit my post to fix the html... whatever

 

[touge]

Cool bro,
good to see you're making goals for yourself and trying to improve.
if you don't get them all done in time, don't worry.. because you can always improve the week after. I think too much time on the computer is a bad thing, so if you're one of those guys who can sit for 6-7 hours in a day i thoroughly suggest you take up other activities. drawing is a great one because it opens up the creative part of your brain.
whereabouts are you from?

 

[Shivastorm_88]

I live in Montreal, Quebec. It's a big problem for me because I never know if I should approach in english or french lol

And yea I do spend way too much time on the computer. Maybe not 6-7, more like 4-5 hours a day (when I work and it's an off day on my workout schedule)

Thanks for the feedback

 

[Shivastorm_88]

week 1 day 2

WEEK 1, DAY 1

A new day, there's still nothing extraordinary about it, but small gains for me nonetheless

1) Didn't introduce myself to any customers (only had 1 customer, had to stop real early because of the rain and she was basically hiding behind the door when I rang and she pretty much closed the door on my face before I was even done talking... rude *****)
2) I actually did something good. I made a huge mistake today at my job, and instead of finding lame excuses to justify it, I called my boss and told him that I made a mistake and explained him the whole situation, then even offered him to work Saturday to finish the contract that I couldn't do today
3) At the gym, I held eye contact as much as possible, but I noticed that people seem scared to hold eye contact. As soon as it lasted more then 1 or 2 seconds, the person in question looked away. There was only 1 person that held it long enough, but I didn't want to say hi to disrupt him, as he was currently doing a set. However, I did greet the girl at the front desk at the gym, first time I do that. It wasn't all that bad at all, I don't know why I always made a fuss out of it.
4) One thing that made me really proud today: Some girl offered me to go with her and her friend downtown to watch some fireworks, and both are quite good looking and good company and all, but I still declined since today was my workout day and skipping today's workout would've put me behind schedule. Usually I would've said yes right away and drop my plans (as small as they may seem, but working out is my life lol) but this time I didn't, I sticked with what I had planned
5) Finally, I had a lot of time off, but I still didn't spend too much on the computer. I read a lot, drew a little, watched a little television and worked out. I spent probably around 3 hours on the computer from 12 to this current moment, while I usually spend 3 hours only after supper
6) Still didn't figure out the thing that I really want to do, nor watched any dancing videos, but I still have the whole week to do that, no rush for now

So yea that's all for today, any feedback would be greatly appreciated; it might look stupid, retarded, whatever, but for me it's quite hard to do.

 

[Interceptor]

You forgot to add probably one of THE Most Important Things To Do:



READ THE BOOK OF POOK.

Slow down the typing and pick up on the reading, lad.

 

[sadburger]

Keep up the good work man, too many people don't take ANY action.

You're on the road to success--confidence will change your life.

 

[On Point]

Dude, I almost fell over when I read this. This is just my take, but if you get a chance to hang out with women, do it. The experience will be far more valuable than one workout, and the gym will still be there when you get back.

WEEK 1, DAY 1
4) One thing that made me really proud today: Some girl offered me to go with her and her friend downtown to watch some fireworks, and both are quite good looking and good company and all, but I still declined since today was my workout day and skipping today's workout would've put me behind schedule. Usually I would've said yes right away and drop my plans (as small as they may seem, but working out is my life lol) but this time I didn't, I sticked with what I had planned