My motivation (aka the cheesiest post you've read on here)

[r4zorsharp]

You know what my motivation is currently? There's this girl I really like who I had a chance with but kind of messed it up some time back. She's this girl I really clicked with on many different levels but I didn't waste too much time with her after she went kind of cold on me. I had a chance to bone and make something out of it but instead I let my childish ways get the best of me. To me she is a model, but thats not what makes her shine. its her personality. She is self assured, strong, confident, flashy, and loves to have fun. She's a star in her own right.. but she has a bit of a past.

My goal is not to wife her up or anything.. My goal is simply to bone and make her a fwb.

I don't know about you all but to me boning any girl doesn't mean sh.it. To me what really takes the cake is boning ag irl who's got it going on personality wise, looks wise, and has personality. Anyone can bone a bimbo, but theres nothing behind that. I feel like the stronger/more confident a woman, the better it is to have sex with them.

But as cheesy as it sounds, I really like her and shes my motivation. As some of you guys know already, I have some issues when it comes to sex and performance anxiety.. A lot of its psychological as I've dealt with some rough experiences in life, but its also due to porn addiction and masturbation and things of that nature.

Why this is important to me is, because I need motivation as its what spurs me to do the excercises necessarily to help my issue.. which relates to anterior pelvic tilt, tight hip flexors, illiosas and psoas muscles deep within the abdomen.. As well as possibly a bit lowered testosterone from being sedentary alot due to work/school. It also helps me with my diet.. to become more lean, and to strengthen my core which believe it or not, has a lot to do with hormones and also erection health/blood flow. and excercise of course (cardio / weight training).

She's my target, my goal and motivation right now. Best part of it all is shes worth it. I never once seen anything or heard anything from her that can pit her as a girl that doesn't deserve my penis more.

Does anyone else relate with this or have a similar motivation? Would love to hear it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You know what my motivation is currently? There's this girl I really like who I had a chance with but kind of messed it up some time back. She's this girl I really clicked with on many different levels but I didn't waste too much time with her after she went kind of cold on me. I had a chance to bone and make something out of it but instead I let my childish ways get the best of me. To me she is a model, but thats not what makes her shine. its her personality. She is self assured, strong, confident, flashy, and loves to have fun. She's a star in her own right.. but she has a bit of a past.

My goal is not to wife her up or anything.. My goal is simply to bone and make her a fwb.

I don't know about you all but to me boning any girl doesn't mean sh.it. To me what really takes the cake is boning ag irl who's got it going on personality wise, looks wise, and has personality. Anyone can bone a bimbo, but theres nothing behind that. I feel like the stronger/more confident a woman, the better it is to have sex with them.

But as cheesy as it sounds, I really like her and shes my motivation. As some of you guys know already, I have some issues when it comes to sex and performance anxiety.. A lot of its psychological as I've dealt with some rough experiences in life, but its also due to porn addiction and masturbation and things of that nature.

Why this is important to me is, because I need motivation as its what spurs me to do the excercises necessarily to help my issue.. which relates to anterior pelvic tilt, tight hip flexors, illiosas and psoas muscles deep within the abdomen.. As well as possibly a bit lowered testosterone from being sedentary alot due to work/school. It also helps me with my diet.. to become more lean, and to strengthen my core which believe it or not, has a lot to do with hormones and also erection health/blood flow. and excercise of course (cardio / weight training).

She's my target, my goal and motivation right now. Best part of it all is shes worth it. I never once seen anything or heard anything from her that can pit her as a girl that doesn't deserve my penis more.

Does anyone else relate with this or have a similar motivation? Would love to hear it.

Making a babe a "target" ( we call it sniper approach ), tends to not work, as you idealize them and put them on a pedastal. When we do this, we devalue ourselves and it makes any chance of "having her" impossible or one where you over value her compared to yourself. Man needs to have greater self worth. Women get attracted and they fvck who they want to fvck. So being on this forum all we can ask, is that you are fvcking other babes along the way and instead of "making her a target" or "trying to have her" that you just be open to having her if you choose.

 

[r4zorsharp]

Making a babe a "target" ( we call it sniper approach ), tends to not work, as you idealize them and put them on a pedastal. When we do this, we devalue ourselves and it makes any chance of "having her" impossible or one where you over value her compared to yourself. Man needs to have greater self worth. Women get attracted and they fvck who they want to fvck. So being on this forum all we can ask, is that you are fvcking other babes along the way and instead of "making her a target" or "trying to have her" that you just be open to having her if you choose.

You're absolutely right, but when done with the exact understanding you mentioned, it can help motivate you. (Well it helps motivate myself anyways). I think having this understanding is key though. Because the intention is not to put them on a pedestal but rather to give yourself motivation to get off your ass and do whats needed to be able to plow something like that.

I find other sources of motivation to be weak in comparison. Even a different woman that I don't know will not have the same affect on motivation than one that I know and am aware of.. One that isn't too far or out of reach

 

[TheProspect]

Because the intention is not to put them on a pedestal but rather to give yourself motivation to get off your ass and do whats needed to be able to plow something like that.

Pedestalization may not be the intention, but it's often the consequence.

The road to onenitus is paved with good intentions.

 

[flowtheory]

Well, you have a good insight into your own vices, and what needs work. That's great. Keep working on that. Pour energy in to the good, and let go of the bad.

Simple advice: You value this woman based on qualities you find attractive and seemingly lack within your own self, known or unbeknownst to you. You idealize her when you don't truly know her. It's an understandable projection. Your post has more to do with you, than her. You're merely using her as something of a reflection if you really read between the lines.
So, work on these qualities within yourself which you are personally drawn to her. We have magnetism with others when we love what we do and how we act.

Don't worry about obtaining her in any way. Where you're at personally? Worry about untangling your hips and mindest from needing anyone but you. Your sexual awakening from performance anxiety and psychological factors will dissipate once you connect and harmonize with your true self. Don't pressure, don't rush. Just do things you know are rewarding to your own soul. Right now you're a touch wrapped in your own ego, and it looks partly self-defeating.

 

[r4zorsharp]

Well, you have a good insight into your own vices, and what needs work. That's great. Keep working on that. Pour energy in to the good, and let go of the bad.

Simple advice: You value this woman based on qualities you find attractive and seemingly lack within your own self, known or unbeknownst to you. You idealize her when you don't truly know her. It's an understandable projection. Your post has more to do with you, than her. You're merely using her as something of a reflection if you really read between the lines.
So, work on these qualities within yourself which you are personally drawn to her. We have magnetism with others when we love what we do and how we act.

Don't worry about obtaining her in any way. Where you're at personally? Worry about untangling your hips and mindest from needing anyone but you. Your sexual awakening from performance anxiety and psychological factors will dissipate once you connect and harmonize with your true self. Don't pressure, don't rush. Just do things you know are rewarding to your own soul. Right now you're a touch wrapped in your own ego, and it looks partly self-defeating.

Hey great post. I do believe I am idealizing her to an extent. and to me i'm not too worried about getting or having her.. I hd a chance to sleep with her already. To me its more or less a cheesy/funny way to motivate myself.. To think about this girl who I perceive as a high value girl (i guess this is where i might be wrong in doign this).. but, to me its not really like im going after her. She's my tool/prop for motivation. I already forgot about her a while back but today I ended up reflecting back as I was reminded of her and thought that she might be a good motivator.. to make a goal to bone her. I think its a formidable goal and one that gives me the boost and energy to do the stuff i need to get done.

Pedestalization may not be the intention, but it's often the consequence.

The road to onenitus is paved with good intentions.

haha thats not my goal brother. I'm more of a red pill than anything else these days. however, i just find it a good way to motivate myself. i really dont have much care or concern past it.

any suggestions on other ways to motivate myself to work on my issue? it requires like alot of excercise/diet/ and specific excercises for posture and stuff to release tension on deep muscle within the abdominal and hips

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Imo your motivation should be your future self, not someone else. If she gets married to a bodybuilder whose diick scrapes on the floor you'll be pressed to feel you don't measure up or you might start harboring resentment.

As you grow in self development she won't seem like such a rockstar anymore, it's just a natural consequence of coming up. Set your goals much higher, for your own sake.

And I challenge you to try out some nofap. Longest I've gone is about 200 days but I'm fixing to break that record.

 

[r4zorsharp]

Imo your motivation should be your future self, not someone else. If she gets married to a bodybuilder whose diick scrapes on the floor you'll be pressed to feel you don't measure up or you might start harboring resentment.

As you grow in self development she won't seem like such a rockstar anymore, it's just a natural consequence of coming up. Set your goals much higher, for your own sake.

And I challenge you to try out some nofap. Longest I've gone is about 200 days but I'm fixing to break that record.

Hm good advice. I think i really need to connect with things that motivate me and have a more universal mindset like the one you said. I've always thought like that but it seemed to help me more to think of a specific person or keep a more specific distant but reachable goal to keep motivated rather tahn "i'm going to become a better man overall" kinda approach.

Will definitely tinker around and try to really find the things that motivate me the most and work on them and kinda take off focus on this type of "want to bone this girl" type approach.

and yeah brother, I been on and off with NoFap for a while. It's definitely helpful I would say. Relapses do occur but i think thats just part of it. I feel like a good balance is whats key.. ie: going 7-15 days in between masturbation is perfectly fine with me.. But I do always try to go as long as possible.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Pedestalization may not be the intention, but it's often the consequence.

The road to onenitus is paved with good intentions.

The stench of oneitis is completely unattractive to almost ANY babe. Start by fvcking the women who are currently valuing you.

 

[TheProspect]

any suggestions on other ways to motivate myself to work on my issue? it requires like alot of excercise/diet/ and specific excercises for posture and stuff to release tension on deep muscle within the abdominal and hips

The problem is that you're looking for motivation.

Motivation is a state that, in order to enter and experience it, relies on a series of factors that are mostly external variables (and thus outside your control) to align in such a way that you feel compelled and driven to take action.

What if in any given moment you don't want nor feel like doing whatever is required to take a necessary step forward towards your goals?

In other words, what are you going to do when you're not motivated?

Nothing. Because you're waiting for motivation to take action.

Newsflash: You're not always going to be motivated.

What you need is SELF-DISCIPLINE. Doing the task you don't want to do when you don't feel like doing it.

There are many tips, tricks, and methods that you can use and experiment with to find the motivation to achieve your goals and to develop good habits while eliminating the bad ones. You can also tell yourself stories in your head to inspire you and you can envision the benefits and feelings you'll experience once you take action. You can do all of that. Motivation is a subjective experience and what works for one person won't always necessarily work for the other.

However, at the end of the day none of it matters if you cannot exercise the discipline to do what actually needs to be done.

How do you get in shape, start working out, and eating clean? You start by doing it.

Reframe your question from "How do I find motivation to do X, Y, and Z?" to "How do I find discipline to do X, Y, and Z?"

The answer? By doing X, Y, and Z.

Anything that motivates you to do something ultimately ends with you doing it anyway. Might as well quit waiting on motivation to appear, cut out the middleman, and just get started.

Obviously this is a reductionist perspective and it's easier said than done. But self-discipline isn't easy if you don't have it. Yet.



"We all must suffer one of two pains. The pain of discipline, or the pain of regret." - Jim Rohn

 

[TheProspect]

Jocko Willink has some good content on YouTube regarding self-discipline, check it out. Here's a sample. Enjoy.

 

[MatureDJ]

You need to spin more plates to get over your 1-itis.

 

[flowtheory]

"We all must suffer one of two pains. The pain of discipline, or the pain of regret." - Jim Rohn

Always enjoyed this quote.

Discipline will lead to fulfillment and wonderment of life. It slowly shows us how to prioritize and will illuminate the things which truly do matter, as the things which we endeavor to in these avenues can be cornerstones to who we are.

Regret on the other hand just encompasses lost time and a road to a distant self, which some funky demons will surely spawn from. Shallow and hollow.
I know both roads. As will most. Currently working some out. Some things are cyclical until we create enough momentum or have greater clarity of what our purpose is.

Tapping into discipline is really an unbeaten path to unlocking who we're meant to be, as the main driver is energy intrinsic specifically tailored within you. I believe. And this skill requires constant mindfulness, as there will be more days than not of wanting to sit aside idly and not sharpen that sword. But an aware and mindful existence is a present one.

And when we do the things we want to do, that we don't always feel like doing, before long we find a sense of freedom by doing it, paradoxically enough.

Motivation always shows up at the wrong time.

 

[TheProspect]

Always enjoyed this quote.

Discipline will lead to fulfillment and wonderment of life. It slowly shows us how to prioritize and will illuminate the things which truly do matter as the things which we endeavor to in these avenues can be cornerstones to who we are.

Regret on the other hand just encompasses lost time and a road to a distant self, which some funky demons will surely spawn from. Shallow and hollow.
I know both roads. As will most. Currently working some out. Some things are cyclical until we create enough momentum or have greater clarity of what our purpose is.

Tapping into discipline is really an unbeaten path to unlocking who we're meant to be, as the main driver is energy intrinsic specifically tailored within you. I believe. And this skill requires constant mindfulness, as there will be more days than not of wanting to sit aside idly and not sharpen that sword. But an aware and mindful existence is a present one.

And when we do the things we want to do, that we don't always feel like doing, before long we find a sense of freedom by doing it, paradoxically enough.

Motivation always shows up at the wrong time.

Very well put.

Some things are cyclical until we create enough momentum or have greater clarity of what our purpose is.

Very true.