"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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My main problem...

theguy351

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I'll start with my general weaknesses:
-Though I am confident, at times it falters
-A bit shy with making the first move
-In-experienced*huge one*

Ok, here is a rundown of my strengths that I have:
-I am goodlooking and athletic
-I am smart
-I am quick witted
-I am good at carrying convorsations
-I can send signals well and such
- I am funny

But that last one, despite being something all girls love in me, I think may be my main problem. For example, I would rather make a joke and have everyone laugh instead of getting serious. Any advice for mixing my stellar funniness with suave-ness and making it the optimal performance.

also upon reveiwing my strengths and weaknesses, any other advice or tips would be greatly appreciated.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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I think he's "being" all of these things by actually trying. I'm guessing he's unsure of his authenticity.
 

theguy351

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nah these were the strengths pointed out by my last g.f.....im not leaving anything out, i put my weaknesses up there too.....another weakness is i always wait too long to make the first move...

and to some degree alot of women like me, but at 17, usually d-bags and a$$es are more sought after
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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theguy351 said:
nah these were the strengths pointed out by my last g.f.....im not leaving anything out, i put my weaknesses up there too.....another weakness is i always wait too long to make the first move...

and to some degree alot of women like me, but at 17, usually d-bags and a$$es are more sought after
So what about the deal about telling jokes to make everyone laugh as opposed to getting serious? Is it that telling jokes will make you more well liked by the masses?
 

theguy351

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idk its weird....like im funny and im very sociable so most people i meet like me, including girls (from school, work etc) but once i move past acquaintance and onto interested in them, i stay that outgoing funny man and often have a tough time combining it with seriousness....that is what i think my main problem is..
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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theguy351 said:
idk its weird....like im funny and im very sociable so most people i meet like me, including girls (from school, work etc) but once i move past acquaintance and onto interested in them, i stay that outgoing funny man and often have a tough time combining it with seriousness....that is what i think my main problem is..
What happens when you try to be serious? How differently does it feel than when you are funny?
 

theguy351

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when i am funny i get so confident and feel i can say or do anything....then sometimes i overdo it i guess or i try and be funny when i should be serious....the transition is always akward for me...like im missing a rung on the ladder
 

Boschy

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I have learned to be very surgical with my wit and hold back until I know a line I think of will be a hit.

In other words, try to say your joke or line in your mind first, and empathise with the audience to judge whether they will think it's funny or not. Otherwise best to keep your mouth shut. Even if someone is funny all the time, it gets tedious very quickly...unless booze is involved. :D
 

theguy351

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yea lol...thats why i think it can be a problem...i was thinking of limitin myself to only the ones i know are perfect for the time,place,situation and company..
 

Alphamale1821

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I'm naturally funny but that doesn't mean I'm always trying to entertain and bust out a joke( needless to say been there done that ha ha.) Your humor would best be done in the moment or at the right time. I can't really explain it other then let it be natural don't feel like "you have" to be the funny guy all the time. Be serious when your serious and make a joke when you want or the time is appropriate.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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The Forms

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Being inexperienced is fine. Even the people who have some experience are still pretty much inexperienced at your age. There's no need to be insecure about that.

About the whole "making the first move" thing. You have to do it. It's the only way. You have to stick yourself out on the line a little bit to get some results. You can totally be classy about it, but you have to let your intentions be known for anything to happen. There's no trick to this. You just have to grab your balls. The sooner you learn that lesson the better.

Being funny actually is a huge help with getting women. Once you learn how to use it effectively.

I've always been funny, and I've always been told that women like that in a dude, but I kept NOT getting any girls.

Girls actually do love it if you're funny. But you have to learn how to use it well. Add a little ****y to your funny and NOW it's working.

Use the "funny guy, life of the party" thing to meet the girls. Once you've picked up on who's really digging it, you isolate her. It's not hard to tell when you can read the signs.

Hang out with her for a bit, have a good time. You pretty much HAVE to spend one on one time with a girl to get her number, even if you are the life of the party.

Before either of you leaves, make sure you get her alone (a "hey, come over here, I want to ask you something" will work fine). Tell her, "I had a good time hanging out with you tonight. So you need to give me your number so I can take you out next week."

You've gone from "funny guy" to "guy with a date coming up"
 

Man Man

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Wow, there is some pretty awesome advice being handed out in this topic. I seem to have a lot in common with theguy.
 

theguy351

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yea Man Man, i hear ya...some great advice here.....we jus gotta tread that fine line between being ****/good funny at the right time and being obnoxious, if we can figure that out, we have a huge weapon in humor on our side.
 

tmpgstx

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Very few women can resist a good looking, althletic, smart, quick whitted, good conversationalist with the type of humbleness that comes from inexperience and shyness. Women should be quite literally throwing themselves at you.
I have pretty-much all those qualities and can be quite the smooth operator. Recently had a girl tell me "You really know how to talk to girls". It was nice to hear.

The thing is, you have to advance it sexually. Most of them won't even when they really like you alot. I was a little surprised, wasn't sure if this same girl liked me, so just kissed her out of the blue and it got good.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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The Sperminator

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I used to be the class clown type of guy, the guy always cracking jokes and making everyone laugh. I learned though that it doesn't attract girls. Girls will like you but won't see you as a potential lover only a friend. They will just think of you as the funny guy. It's strange everytime I made a girl laugh hard and a lot they never were never really interested in me. What I learn is tame it down. You don't need to make a joke every other sentence. You need to control how often you are serious or they won't take you seriously. Every girl I have ever gotten have been by acting serious or only cracking a couple of jokes and not over doing.
 

theguy351

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yeah, i guess I just have to tread on the right side of the fine line between them.
 
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