My Improvements / New Situation

[Mattardz]

Hello all, and thanks in advance for reading my post. I'm just asking for any tips or advice for how to deal with the current situation I am in.

Well I have been a member here for quite some time and made one topic many, many moons ago about being a better conversationalist. Due to all of your tips, I have become much better. Not nearly the greatest, but the improvement is present.

Anyway, so my current situation starts back in November. I am a Junior in high school. I am a long distance runner and AP student. I occasionally go out and party on weekends, but I don't let any of that interfere with my grades or allow it to cut me off from my old straight-edge friends. I digress. Back in sophomore year there was this girl in my gym class. I found her to be unbelievably attractive. I didn't pursue because I had no means to do so. We didn't know each other. Junior year comes around, and I was at a school football game with my friends. I saw this girl there, and one of my friends' friends was flirting with her a bit. She was a row ahead so she would turn around and talk a little, but I noticed that she did not appear overly interested. I made a funny comment about something he said (what exactly it was escapes my memory) and she laughed. We talked a little, it went well, then I returned to chatting with my friends. I didn't think much about it for the rest of the game until she stumbled off the bleachers (the student's section stands during the games) and whacked me with her arm. I joked with her and make a big deal out of it all in good fun. Long story short, I end up sending her a Facebook request and writing something on her wall about what happened, all very light hearted and playful. She wrote back, everything is chill. Next week this continues. One weekend I was going away, so I left a message on her wall with my number. All her friends "liked" it, but I never got a response from her. I assumed she wasn't interested and moved on with my life.

Well weeks later, there was a trend on Facebook to do "Inbox me a number and I will tell you how I feel about you." statuses. My news feed was being exploded by these things so I thought hey, what the hell. Hayley (this girl) was one of the first people to send me a number. So I go on about how oh you know I thought we could have been great friends but I was REJECTED, you never responded to me, yada yada yada. All injest. So she sends me a chat message asking me what I'm talking about. I tell her about how it was me telling her my number and her not doing anything with it. She tells me how sorry she is, etc, and about how she put the number in her phone but just forgot to message me. I was like alright, well I want you to text me. Not right now, that doesn't mean anything. But tomorrow. She says yes of course I will!

Tomorrow comes, there is no text. This doesn't surprise me. It doesn't bother me that much either, I wasn't losing any sleep over the situation. I see her the following day in the hallway and she notices me and smiles. I say, "Forgetting something?" and she laughs and says oh my god yes i am! And she texts me immediately thereafter. We have a brief lighthearted conversation during school. A day or so goes by, we talk a little. I decide to draw a picture for her in study, all about her in english class with the teacher (she is a grade below me and we are in different classes, but have the same teacher for english) and kinda making fun of her a bit. I hand it to her and she starts laughing hysterically and posts it up in her locker. We text over the weekend. Another day goes by, she is talking to a mutual friend. I walk up to them and she glances over at me and goes, "I don't like him..." to my friend Phoebe. I laugh, and say well just keep it classy (something she told me to do when I told her about an embarrassing drunken experience). She laughs and goes on. Later in the night she messages me saying, "I didn't really mean I dont like you....lol i feel bad" and we just chat a little bit.

Yada yada yada. I'll spare you from all the rest of that crap. We text for a while over Christmas Break. We begin Facebook messaging until very late at night during the school week. The conversations are not forced, its all very friendly and playful. She made mention of the fact that my friend Andrew and I would make a great couple, and when I was threatening her by telling her I'd tell him she said that (jokingly), she brings up the fact that "We could have a family some day and we will already have family hate!" and we joked about how terrible our family would be hated upon just based on what she said about Andrew and I. I took this as a strong signal that she was interested in me.

Time out from that story.

I had gotten a FB request from a girl named Ashley. I'd known of her from her past boyfriends, but never met her. Our friendship began when she was at a mutual friend's house, I was texting the mutual friend (Casie), and she took the phone and started talking to me. We talked briefly, then nothing for a while.

Over Christmas Break I had also been messaged by a freshman girl in my Latin class. She is one of the most attractive freshmen, but that really, really isn't saying much. Cute, though. Unfortunately, she is an absolute dud. Brenda is incredibly dumb and has a shallow personality. She would non-stop text me for about 3 days straight, double-texting and even triple-texting at times. I get the impression that she is very easy and I could hook up with her if I pleased, but I didn't think too much about it due to my growing feelings for Hayley. Additionally, while making it very clear she was attracted to me, she would talk to me about the other guys she liked. I don't know if it is just because she is that stupid, or because she was trying to make me jealous, but it didn't work. It was just a turn off. I began to care less and less for her as a person, and therefore gave her the business via text. I'd give ****ty one word answers and things like that (which is polar opposite of how I normally text, sometimes I feel that my responses could be shorter). She eases off for a while.

I begin to feel more comfortable with the fact that things are going well with Hayley. We never hung out due to the fact that she plays basketball and the practices and games take up a good amount of her day. It didn't bother me. We would just frequently text and I'd talk to her whenever possible during school. When she was at her locker, I'd notice her frequently looking down the hallways, presumably to see if I was coming. We would chat for like 15 seconds before I had to be going on to class.

Yada yada yada. On Facebook I would try to message Hayley some of the nights, but then not other nights. The nights I didn't, she would start conversation. This was a good feeling.

We were talking one Saturday and I got a twitter follow request from a guy who I had seen her talk to via twitter, but never seen before. I ask her about it, and she goes "Funny that you mention him...." so I respond by saying, "Why, do you have a thing for him or something? Hahahaha" assuming from the fact that we constantly talk that she doesn't.
She says "No, but we kinda talked forever ish." So I ask for clarification, "Used to, or still do?"
"Used to"
Then she went on to tell me about how he would give her attitude like "So are we going sledding today or should I just find other plans..." and how she hated that. She didn't respond to his message and hung out with her girl friends at the mall. I essentially forgot about it.

I had gone to one of her basketball games, and I noticed her while she was play to be constantly glancing up at me. After her game while she was in the bleachers waiting for the next game, she said hi to me and we talked for a little while, then she went off with her other friends. As did I. Still, I noticed her glancing over to me and smiling sometimes.

Brenda stopped texting me for a while, but still periodically texted me or would talk to me in class. I'm not interested in her and I try to make that clear, while still being polite. She texts me more...and more...and more...

Ashley and I have some long in depth conversations on Facebook about our relationship status and the feeling we have for other people. I take this as a hint that she is not interested in me as more than a friend. I'd prefer to have her as another prospect, since she is very pretty and has a great personality as well. She would ask me to help her get a boyfriend and I'd just say "well im really busy, maybe you can make an appointment with me? and while youre there, you can help me find a girlfriend hahaha" and she would laugh, etc. So while we both make it seem like we have other people on the line, there is a little bit of a connection. I give her my number before I log off and tell her to do what she pleases with it. She stops me before I go and gives me her number. We text periodically.
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[Mattardz]

With Hayley, we were yet again texting all day on the weekend. I had rekindled a friendship with my ex-girlfriend, and we both simultaneously decided to chill for a little while and catch up. I told Hayley I was hanging out with a "long lost friend of mine" because I felt like talking about my exs would be awkward. But I did not lie to her, and if she pushed the topic I would have told her because I am a truthful person who only asks for honesty in return. I wasn't going to make a big deal out of it, and neither did she. After I hung out with her I was on my way home and decided to ask some of my friends Jason and Zach if they wanted to go to taco bell and chill for a bit. They were up for it, and we did. I resumed texting Hayley and I told her what I was up to. She says that she is being driven around with a bunch of her friends by Phoebe (mutual friend I mentioned earlier). We make our way back to Zachs house and I was going to walk home. Phoebe's car pulls up right as I turn around. This lets me know that Hayley must have spoken up about us being out and gotten Phoebe to drive over. I wasn't talking to anyone else in the car.

Phoebe and I have a thing where when I see her driving, I jump on the hood of her car, she accelerates and brakes sharply, sending me off the hood. Normally I land on my feet, but that time I didn't and got slightly scraped up. It was no big deal, they all laughed, and it was good. I asked her for a ride home (her car was filled and her friends were drinking), so I hop into the front seat. The girl who was already there was semi drunk and very giddy. She was sitting on my lap and laughing, telling me how she was going to pee herself. This makes me laugh but also slightly nervous since I didn't know if she was serious. Hayley and I talk briefly in the car, and then I get dropped off. The conversation is a little dry for the rest of the night, but I knew she was out with her friends so I didn't mind. I hate feeling like I am making people less social. The next morning, assuming she had been drinking, I send her a message asking her "how ya feelin?" I get no response for a good 2 hours. This worried me a bit, because I didn't know if she was okay. She texts me back 2 hours later saying "Great." I respond something light hearted to that and get no response. Later in the night I try to get a conversation out of her and she is totally disinterested. I just say (since midterms were the following day) "hey well you're trying to focus, so just text me when you're finished." All day I had been stressing over this extreme change in behavior she was exhibiting. I had to go running to destress, but when I got home it was back. I was telling myself, and my friends were telling me, that she was just hungover or on her period and I wanted to believe them but I couldn't help feeling like something was up.

She texts me later saying "when does the second midterm start if there is a delay." I tell her, and she says "ok thanks." I try continuing the conversation but it it didn't work. I let it go, and have trouble sleeping.

Two days later, while stressing about the whole situation the entire time (since she had not been texting me at all these days). I finally just say, okay well I need to talk to her and I'd like to do it in person. So I ask her, but she is at the gym with her friends. She ends up going to her friends house after, so I couldn't stop by and talk to her. I facebook message her asking her what the hell is going on. She says "well someone told me that you wanted to be more than friends and I had no idea. im actually talking to someone else"

Instead of just leaving there saying something like "Well I already have enough friends, goodbye." like i should have, i prod her for more info. I was like okay well yes I did but friends is great as well. I ask her who told her about me wanting to be more than friends, she says "i dont remember"
I ask her who she is talking to and she says "i thought i told you"


So I'm just like....this isn't happening. Yes, it was the kid she clearly stated that she "used to" talk to. I dont tolerate lies, so a good portion of my feelings for her just evaporated right there. Not to mention the fact that it doesnt make any sense. If she was under the impression that we were just budding friends, why would she lie to me about the guy who she was talking to? I ask her this and she says "idk things have been confusing between me and him. i lied because i didnt think it made a difference to you". I thought that was total crap. And when I was getting a little fired up I was saying things like "I dont understand why you still go for him when its confusing with him and when he gives you attitude and you hate it, and yet you don't like me but I have NEVER given you any attitude." She says something about i know i know im stupid you dont have to tell me." I let it go and just said "okay listen. you are a great girl. so heres the deal. lets forget this conversation ever happened and be friends. not "lets just be friends" friends, but actual friends. she says okay. Again, I know all this may not have been the best course of action.

We have talked periodically since then. I don't make things awkward, but the conversations never went as smoothly. She no longer says hi to me in school. I did another one of those "inbox me a number" things and she was, again, one of the first to send me a number. I write a bit about how it would be nice if we could still chat occasionally. I say how if she doesn't want to, thats chill with me, but she will be the one missing out on being friends with a great guy. Later that night she messages me and we chat until late again, but it is not the same as it was previously.

I texted her telling her I had a gift for her (my AP Government notes and outlines from last year, a class she is presently taking). She seemed moderately interested, so I didn't push a conversation and packed it with my stuff. I would present myself in opportunities where she could say hi to me or ask me for the "present" but she never did. I'm not gonna say anything else to her. I took the papers out of my bookbag and that's that.


In the meantime, Brenda has been texting me more and more. To the point where whenever I am logged in onto Facebook, I can expect a message from her. She always want to oovoo, will call me about random crap and text me about random crap. I act less than interested in her, and sometimes even downright rude. She sticks around.

I have been talking to Ashley more frequently, and we have had really deep conversations about the recent relationships. It turns out that many times throughout the years passed, we have been in the same place at the same time and didn't even know it. She mentioned how it's like we have been friends forever and didn't even know it. I think I'm getting closer to her, and I asked her to prom yesterday. She said that because of the way I asked her, there was no possible way she could refuse due to an ex boyfriend or anything else. I have also been talking to this girl Valerie, who is definitely into me but I'm not sure how I feel about her. She has a decent body but is not overly attractive facially. By no means bad! Just not as good as Hayley or Ashley. She texts me on a daily basis, but is MUCH more tolerable than Brenda (the freshman girl). I actually enjoy talking to her.

However everything is just strange because I still have lingering feelings for Hayley based almost entirely on her looks. I'm not going to let it stop me from getting closer to any of these other fine ladies, but I just wish I could eradicate the feelings or she could reconsider her feelings for me. She tweeted something earlier about "i wish you miss me as much as i miss you" but I am assuming that is about her other man. Who knows. She normally doesn't EVER tweet anything about her personal feelings.


Anyway gentlemen, I appreciate it if you did read this. Any and all tips, suggestions, advice, or comments are welcome. Even commenting on things I did terribly wrong, anything. I will take it all constructively and positively. If desired, I could update the story as new information unfolds.

-Matt

 

[Mattardz]

Hahahaha I apologize, I've been writing papers for my AP English class so I've been in length and elaboration mode. I'll do my best to give you the gist.

I meet a girl, Hayley, and our friendship starts off slow. It starts picking up and she gives me lots of vibes that she is interested. Dropping lines about "if we have a family together" etc. She is extremely attractive, has a fun personality, intelligent, all that. We start texting off and on, I chat with her at school whenever possible. We text more and more and more and fb chat until wee hours of the morning. Due to her having a tight schedule with sports all day etc chilling is difficult. I still try to chat with her when possible, good eye contact, jokes, kino whatever. One weekend I am hanging out with my guy friends at night, she is being driven around with a bunch of her girl friends. I tell her what im doing, she gets the driver of the car (mutual friend) to stop by where I am. I get a ride home with her and the drunk people, we chat a bit. The rest of the night we don't really talk since I assume she's out with her friends. I don't mind. The next day I send her a message asking her "how ya feelin?" (assuming hangover) and get no message for hours (uncommon). This worried me. Conversation that night was forced, I let it go. I realize how much I like her. A few days later I ask what the deal was, she says that she was told that I wanted to be more than friends and she had no idea (bs), and that she is talking to someone else (guy she had told me prior that she used to talk to, and annoys her now). I take up her offer on being friends (i dont make it awkward, I talk to her as if she is any other friend of mine), we talked a slight amount. In person she wouldn't make effort to speak to me. I offered to give her my AP stuff (class i took last year, shes taking now) via text a few days ago and she appeared excited, but never got it from me. I took the stuff out of my bag. Today (this isnt included in the wall of text above) I see her in the hallway, I'm dressed nicer than usual. She is staring down the hallway, it seemed like she was looking for someone. She makes a split second of eye contact w/ me and immediately looks away. Later, she was walking directly towards me to her locker (usual walking pattern), but was looking awkwardly way up and to the left (at the numbers of the lockers) so it would be impossible for her to notice me. I'm no longer going to make any effort to speak to her. She tweeted the other night "i wish you miss me as much as i miss you" (who "you" is is unknown) and this is out of the ordinary because she never tweets about her feelings. I'm assuming its about her other man who its been "confusing" with, but it could go either way.

This whole time I've been amping up the amount of time I talk to girl 2 (Ashley). We have deep conversations about lots of different things, and are getting closer. I asked her to prom, she said yes.

Girl 3 (Valerie) has started talking to me recently. She is clearly into me, I wouldn't mind hooking up with her but I'm not totally interested in making it a relationship.

Girl 4 (Brenda) is a freshmen who is marginally attractive and stupid. I find no interest in her emotionally, and am harsh and blunt to her. The harsher I am, the more she talks to me. I'd say it's nearly an obsession right now.


That's still long but much shorter than the original. I chopped out a lot of details that I feel may hold some weight in the situation, but I'm just curious what all of you takes are on what Hayley's feelings are towards me and why she has been acting how she does.