BG the HB Tamer
Don Juan
-------- october wrote: --------
Hey BG, i like your blogspot and anti-KJ attitude. So, what methods/ IG materials do you prefer, or do you not like many of the methods available?
Hey october!
Thanks for your kind words and your interest.
What methods do I prefer... Good question.
When I tell people my philosophies, they often compare them to Juggler's, and also to Stephane's. I'm not familiar with Juggler's material, but I've heard good things. However, because my 'vision' on PU (or life, as I like to call it), doesn't originate from a particular method, I'll explain it in few references and many words.
First of all, everyone has 'two' personalities. One which is programmed by society and another personality, which is deeper. The latter is the personality that you want to develop, this is your power personality; your true self. Often when a newbie comes into the community and doesn't feel comfortable doing these things, because it's "just not him", the community predicates "why would you be yourself if being yourself doesn't make you happy", and stuff along those lines. I disagree with this philosophy, it really doesn't help newbies a lot to say things like that (although sometimes harshness is needed). I would say that the community IS about being yourself; however most people who come into the community need to BECOME theirselves.
That's my philosophy and that's what I think it's all about. Taking this as our starting point, everyone's road will be different, because happiness is personal and everyone will find it elsewhere. However, I think some principles are always true, for everyone. One of these principles is Stephane Hermon's crede: "all game is innergame".
My Game
Now I will go into my personal method, but before I do that, I will explain to you who I am. I think it's important to know where a person's coming from; a method is worthless if it doesn't match your power personality.
According to the Myers-Briggs, I'm an ENFP (though a year ago I was ENTP)..
Extrovert (60%)
Intuitive
Feeling (50/50 with Thinking)
Perceiving (as opposed to Judging)
I'm a creative person. I express myself in alternative ways. I'm a rapper and right now I collaborate with a rock band. I like adventures, experiences, but I don't live day by day. I'm a thinker, I'm spiritual and I'm a (self-proclaimed) philosopher. I consider myself a diplomatic person and according to Jung's archetypical test I'm a 'journalist'.
These are things I had before the community.
The keys of my method:
1 - LOVE
A recent development in myself, is that I truly learned to accept, appreciate and love everyone. When I came into the community, I noticed the power of my (and other rAFC's) rationalizations. I negatively rationalized everything dealing with women and myself. "She's flaking 'cause she doesn't like me", "She's just pretending to be interested out of polightness", blabla. THOSE thoughts are SO powerful.
It wasn't until much later that I realized that I positively rationalize everything nowadays. And now I understand how positive rationalization is done. I should really write a full theory/post on this, but can't find the time at the moment. I'll explain THE key to it though.
It's LOVE. If you learn to love everyone, and trust in the good of people, it's so easy to not take everything straight to your ego. Someone cuts the line, my thought: "Pff, that's pathetic. But I bet the man/woman needs it. He or she must be in a terrible place if they have to cut in lines. (Here I start to feel sorry for them, so I then reflect on myself) I'm glad that I'm a happy, balanced person who loves and harmonizes with everyone. I hope they (the person cutting the line) will find happiness soon."
This is not some bull**** affirmation. I TRULY think this.
I hope that example will help your insight.
So what's next?
2 - PRINCIPLES
If you're going to love everyone, you have to have principles, to protect yourself. In his book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", Stephen R. Covey talks about becoming a principle-centered, interdependent person.
You have to know how far you can let your love go; how much you are going to accept, appreciate and love. There's no such thing as tolerance. Tolerance is letting yourself be treated badly. Either accept it or not, but never tolerate it.
When someone comes to me with drama, I tell them that I will listen to them, because I care about them and I love them as I love everyone, but if they want to tell me about their drama, they have to be willing to help me help themselves. I explain to them that I have a very positive life, and can not let negativity exist in my life. The only negativity in my life is 'problems'; but this negativity turns into proactivity; productivity; positivity. If they choose to live in a reality that I perceive it's negative; then I'll ask them kindly for their understanding and tell them that I wish to keep our reality's seperated. Nothing personal, I love every person.
How to set up principles can be found in self-development books like the Seven Habits.
3 - LETTING GO
Once you love everyone and have principles to protect yourself, you can really start letting go. What's letting go? In the community the law is to not be outcome-dependent. This is true. But there's WAY more.
Letting go is about releasing. I often tell people to "release". Let's do something right now.
Breathe in deeply (through your nose); try to fill the bottom of your torso with the air.
Hold your breath for a second when you can breathe in no more.
Then make your power personality voice say "Release!" in an alpha way.
Start breathing out until you are empty again.
You might want to repeat this a couple of times.
This helps you calm so much.
I recently broke up with my LTR, it was a sad moment. We were both crying, but I noticed that the moment I did this breathing technique and told myself to 'release', I stopped crying and calmed down A LOT. My mind got more focussed, yet relaxed. So I instructed her to do the same thing and she stopped crying as well, even though she was more emotionally active than I was.
Release your fears.
Outcome-dependancy is about fear. You're not scared that something good will happen. You're scared that something BAD will happen; or that something BAD or difficult will result from a good result.
This is something that Stephane talks about a lot, and I respect him for it.
He encourages people to meditate, and cleanse their chakra's. This is very interesting to me, being a spiritual person. Meditation (also the more westernized forms) helps everybody release though.
So when guys are being told to handle their approach anxiety by biting through it, I slightly disagree. They get used to approaching, but they still have fears in other aspects of PU, not to mention their whole life!
I think overcoming things like that is about releasing. About letting go.
4 - BE CURIOUS
Be genuinely, sincerely interested in people. Every new person you meet has so much potential adventure to offer you. And if you feel they don't; you probably won't connect and this person's not the person for you. Not at this point in time.
I make a lot of friends. I'm genuinely curious about people.
When I see someone that seems interesting; I'll go and make a chat. Find out if they are as interesting as they look. And maybe exchange contacts. This goes for guys and girls.
I can recommend the following exercise to help you approach:
1 - Spot a person who might be interesting.
2 - Extrapolate; take everything you can about this person and try to think what he/she is like. What their reality might be like. (do this positively; with love)
3 - This will help you amp your curiosity. I notice that when I do this; I will HAVE to talk to the person, or else it will drive me nuts.
Then I open them by introducing myself, by asking them a question about something about them that interests me, or by doing a mini-cold read.. "You look like a person who.."
I'm good at mini-cold reads btw.
(Thanks to Dutch PUA's Neo and Heisenberg for the inspiration for this part of my game)
5 - SEX
What I think is not stressed often enough, is the power of sexual confidence. This is one of my newer idea's so I haven't formulated a real theory on this yet, so here's a shorter version.
I believe that everyone should start studying about sex. Learn everything you can about how to please a woman. Then every chance you get; apply it. Knowing that you ROCK in bed and can make a woman go WILD is SO powerful.
I always thought that all that wasn't for me. Or that my game wasn't good enough to worry about that yet. I was totally wrong here.
After reading Orleans' Sex Guide on Mystery's forum (I cross-posted it on my blog) and applying it... Wow. This world opened for me.
Sexual confidence will get you laid. It's as simple as that.
Concluding
That's about it. Just have fun. Enjoy many experiences and adventures. Life is beautiful; stop worrying, start appreciating.
And the real key to happiness doesn't lie in women, or seduction-related products. Go find proper self-development books. Go and read. Go and do many things, many new things. Go outside. Turn off your television. Don't sit behind the computer all day. Stop downloading **** and reading it behind your computer. Buy a real book and go to the park and read there. Meet many new people. Love everyone and everything.
That is the game I play.
BG
Hey BG, i like your blogspot and anti-KJ attitude. So, what methods/ IG materials do you prefer, or do you not like many of the methods available?
Hey october!
Thanks for your kind words and your interest.
What methods do I prefer... Good question.
When I tell people my philosophies, they often compare them to Juggler's, and also to Stephane's. I'm not familiar with Juggler's material, but I've heard good things. However, because my 'vision' on PU (or life, as I like to call it), doesn't originate from a particular method, I'll explain it in few references and many words.
First of all, everyone has 'two' personalities. One which is programmed by society and another personality, which is deeper. The latter is the personality that you want to develop, this is your power personality; your true self. Often when a newbie comes into the community and doesn't feel comfortable doing these things, because it's "just not him", the community predicates "why would you be yourself if being yourself doesn't make you happy", and stuff along those lines. I disagree with this philosophy, it really doesn't help newbies a lot to say things like that (although sometimes harshness is needed). I would say that the community IS about being yourself; however most people who come into the community need to BECOME theirselves.
That's my philosophy and that's what I think it's all about. Taking this as our starting point, everyone's road will be different, because happiness is personal and everyone will find it elsewhere. However, I think some principles are always true, for everyone. One of these principles is Stephane Hermon's crede: "all game is innergame".
My Game
Now I will go into my personal method, but before I do that, I will explain to you who I am. I think it's important to know where a person's coming from; a method is worthless if it doesn't match your power personality.
According to the Myers-Briggs, I'm an ENFP (though a year ago I was ENTP)..
Extrovert (60%)
Intuitive
Feeling (50/50 with Thinking)
Perceiving (as opposed to Judging)
I'm a creative person. I express myself in alternative ways. I'm a rapper and right now I collaborate with a rock band. I like adventures, experiences, but I don't live day by day. I'm a thinker, I'm spiritual and I'm a (self-proclaimed) philosopher. I consider myself a diplomatic person and according to Jung's archetypical test I'm a 'journalist'.
These are things I had before the community.
The keys of my method:
1 - LOVE
A recent development in myself, is that I truly learned to accept, appreciate and love everyone. When I came into the community, I noticed the power of my (and other rAFC's) rationalizations. I negatively rationalized everything dealing with women and myself. "She's flaking 'cause she doesn't like me", "She's just pretending to be interested out of polightness", blabla. THOSE thoughts are SO powerful.
It wasn't until much later that I realized that I positively rationalize everything nowadays. And now I understand how positive rationalization is done. I should really write a full theory/post on this, but can't find the time at the moment. I'll explain THE key to it though.
It's LOVE. If you learn to love everyone, and trust in the good of people, it's so easy to not take everything straight to your ego. Someone cuts the line, my thought: "Pff, that's pathetic. But I bet the man/woman needs it. He or she must be in a terrible place if they have to cut in lines. (Here I start to feel sorry for them, so I then reflect on myself) I'm glad that I'm a happy, balanced person who loves and harmonizes with everyone. I hope they (the person cutting the line) will find happiness soon."
This is not some bull**** affirmation. I TRULY think this.
I hope that example will help your insight.
So what's next?
2 - PRINCIPLES
If you're going to love everyone, you have to have principles, to protect yourself. In his book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", Stephen R. Covey talks about becoming a principle-centered, interdependent person.
You have to know how far you can let your love go; how much you are going to accept, appreciate and love. There's no such thing as tolerance. Tolerance is letting yourself be treated badly. Either accept it or not, but never tolerate it.
When someone comes to me with drama, I tell them that I will listen to them, because I care about them and I love them as I love everyone, but if they want to tell me about their drama, they have to be willing to help me help themselves. I explain to them that I have a very positive life, and can not let negativity exist in my life. The only negativity in my life is 'problems'; but this negativity turns into proactivity; productivity; positivity. If they choose to live in a reality that I perceive it's negative; then I'll ask them kindly for their understanding and tell them that I wish to keep our reality's seperated. Nothing personal, I love every person.
How to set up principles can be found in self-development books like the Seven Habits.
3 - LETTING GO
Once you love everyone and have principles to protect yourself, you can really start letting go. What's letting go? In the community the law is to not be outcome-dependent. This is true. But there's WAY more.
Letting go is about releasing. I often tell people to "release". Let's do something right now.
Breathe in deeply (through your nose); try to fill the bottom of your torso with the air.
Hold your breath for a second when you can breathe in no more.
Then make your power personality voice say "Release!" in an alpha way.
Start breathing out until you are empty again.
You might want to repeat this a couple of times.
This helps you calm so much.
I recently broke up with my LTR, it was a sad moment. We were both crying, but I noticed that the moment I did this breathing technique and told myself to 'release', I stopped crying and calmed down A LOT. My mind got more focussed, yet relaxed. So I instructed her to do the same thing and she stopped crying as well, even though she was more emotionally active than I was.
Release your fears.
Outcome-dependancy is about fear. You're not scared that something good will happen. You're scared that something BAD will happen; or that something BAD or difficult will result from a good result.
This is something that Stephane talks about a lot, and I respect him for it.
He encourages people to meditate, and cleanse their chakra's. This is very interesting to me, being a spiritual person. Meditation (also the more westernized forms) helps everybody release though.
So when guys are being told to handle their approach anxiety by biting through it, I slightly disagree. They get used to approaching, but they still have fears in other aspects of PU, not to mention their whole life!
I think overcoming things like that is about releasing. About letting go.
4 - BE CURIOUS
Be genuinely, sincerely interested in people. Every new person you meet has so much potential adventure to offer you. And if you feel they don't; you probably won't connect and this person's not the person for you. Not at this point in time.
I make a lot of friends. I'm genuinely curious about people.
When I see someone that seems interesting; I'll go and make a chat. Find out if they are as interesting as they look. And maybe exchange contacts. This goes for guys and girls.
I can recommend the following exercise to help you approach:
1 - Spot a person who might be interesting.
2 - Extrapolate; take everything you can about this person and try to think what he/she is like. What their reality might be like. (do this positively; with love)
3 - This will help you amp your curiosity. I notice that when I do this; I will HAVE to talk to the person, or else it will drive me nuts.
Then I open them by introducing myself, by asking them a question about something about them that interests me, or by doing a mini-cold read.. "You look like a person who.."
I'm good at mini-cold reads btw.
(Thanks to Dutch PUA's Neo and Heisenberg for the inspiration for this part of my game)
5 - SEX
What I think is not stressed often enough, is the power of sexual confidence. This is one of my newer idea's so I haven't formulated a real theory on this yet, so here's a shorter version.
I believe that everyone should start studying about sex. Learn everything you can about how to please a woman. Then every chance you get; apply it. Knowing that you ROCK in bed and can make a woman go WILD is SO powerful.
I always thought that all that wasn't for me. Or that my game wasn't good enough to worry about that yet. I was totally wrong here.
After reading Orleans' Sex Guide on Mystery's forum (I cross-posted it on my blog) and applying it... Wow. This world opened for me.
Sexual confidence will get you laid. It's as simple as that.
Concluding
That's about it. Just have fun. Enjoy many experiences and adventures. Life is beautiful; stop worrying, start appreciating.
And the real key to happiness doesn't lie in women, or seduction-related products. Go find proper self-development books. Go and read. Go and do many things, many new things. Go outside. Turn off your television. Don't sit behind the computer all day. Stop downloading **** and reading it behind your computer. Buy a real book and go to the park and read there. Meet many new people. Love everyone and everything.
That is the game I play.
BG
