My game: a mental and physical dichotomy

[fbplayer06]

A few years have passed since I stumbled upon this site and began reading. It’s changed how I think about women and how I view my life in general, but I still have an issue which is becoming increasingly annoying to me, and probably to the women involved as well.

Like the title says, there exists a severe unbalance between how confidently I act around women in public (anti-pedestal thinking/eye contact/smile/****y & funny/etc.) and how physically insecure I am with a girl once I get her in bed. This may sound weird: I’m not a virgin, but no girl has ever brought me to orgasm (be it through oral or intercourse); and there have been numerous opportunities. It’s not that I don’t know how to put on a condom or where to stick my ****, it’s just either I had been drinking too much earlier and can’t get hard altogether (which, I know, is a whole other issue), or I simply can’t get off by getting head/screwing the girl. I think it has to do with the different sensation and rhythm afforded by a mouth/vagina that makes is such a challenge for me to *** without jackin’ it. Does/did anyone else have this issue? I’m 20 so I highly doubt I have E.D. or something, but I’m getting tired of it; I want to be able to get off inside a girl and not have to resort to my right hand.

This was kind of hard (no pun intended) for me to ask, and I appreciate any advice. Thanks.

 

[Nighthawk]

Condoms, and some drugs, can make it difficult to reach the climax. Quite a few times I've had to give up after a while. It's a vicious circle, once you focus on not being able to, you can't.

Try fantasizing about something dirty and wrong while you are doing it, whatever turns you on. Or fuck hotter women.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Your problem is all in your head.

Too much jackin' and not enough real experience has tricked your brain into thinking the feel of your own hand is normal and anything else isn't.

Also, since you don't seem to believe the "game" your showing the girls, you're feeling guilty about having tricked them into bed with you. Being good with girls has never been about trickery. It's all about being the man they want and knowing this right to your core. You just don't believe it, yet thus the guilt is ruining your mood.

Thirdly, you're assuming that when you get them into bed, your tool isn't gonna work so you're adding a self fulfilling prophecy that is also weighing down the mood.


You need to be confident and secure with yourself to enjoy sex. If you've got issues, this is when they will present themselves the most.