My first night out gaming...

[Don John NJ]

Whats going on fellas? This is my first post on this site and I hope it can be a somewhat inspirational one to all the people still sitting on the fence with approach anxiety.

Well a little about myself...

I would say I am a good looking guy and have had success with women in the past. I have never really approached a girl with intentions of seduction. Many of the girls who I have been with came onto me.

Anyway. The other night (Saturday) was really my first time out with my wing sarging. When we first got into the bar we were rather reluctant and somewhat nervous on what kind of material to open up with. So we had a few drinks at one bar and decided it would be best to change up the venue so we can get a fresh start.

So when we arrived at the next bar slightly buzzed we walked right up to the bar to get some drinks. I could not help notice the hot bartender about to get our drinks. I decided that this was going to be my first opener.

So as shes walking away:

Me: Holy ****....
Bartender: What?
Me: You honestly just looked at me like you wanted to kill me.

This is when the bartender opened up

Bartender: OMG I cant believe that!! I had like no girlfriends in High School because all the girls thought I flashed them dirty looks all the time...blah blah blah blah

Me: Wow. I dont blame them *laughing*

So now that I had opened her up we were talking for and while she was leaning over the talking to me and we were somewhat kinoing eachother after I initiated it. I guess I had established good rapport. As we talked for a little while longer I decided to end the convo because I wasnt sure where to take it from there so I ended our convo on a good note and I walked away.

After I decided with my wing that I was going to use Style's girlfriend opener on a set of two HBs. I walked over and used the opener on them and I could tell right away that it really got them thinking because they looked at eachother trying to figure out how to answer the question.
This set did not go very well because the music was loud and I was not able to implement a false time constraint on them and the music was very loud and hard to hear eachother talk. My wing and myself excused ourselves politely and walked away.

Next we approached another set of HBs and I used Style's girlfriend opener on them. They blow us out. We did not give a ****.

After we got blown out we went back to the bar to get some more drinks and I just started talking to some dudes at the bar. The instantly loved my wing and myself and started buying us shots which DHV to the hot bartender.

Next I decided to approach another girl sitting a few seats away at the bar. I don't remember what I opened with because I was pretty drunk at this point. Whatever I did open with the girl responded very well too and we were talking for a while. In the beginning of our convo I noticed her friends looking at us kind of funny so I told her I wanted to meet her friends and introduced myself to them. It seemed like an alpha thing to do and the girl responded well to it. As I continued talking to this girl I had built good rapport but I was somewhat drunk and I guess our convo started to go nowhere so we parted ways.

So after I decided to go to the bathroom and as I was walking back up the stairs there was a HB walked down towards the bathroom. We made EC and I opened....

Me: (looking at her and talking in a distraught voice) Oh man. I'm so embarassed...
HB: (looking at me confused) What?
Me: I almost wore the same thing tonight...

At this point the HB erupted in laughter and we started talking. She loved me. We built instant rapport and were having a great time. I decided to end the convo and walk away because once again I was not sure where to go from there. We parted ways on a great note.

When I arrived back upstairs my wing was sitting at a table with the two girls who had blown us out earlier, except one of the hot ones was replaced by her warpig friend who my wing was talking to. I started talking to the hot one but I was hammered and don't remember what exactly was said but we had a decent convo.

That is basically all that I can really remember at the moment.


Anyway. I do have to say even though I did not close any girls I did a learn a lot by actually approaching for the first time. Once the first approach or two were made it was so easy after that. It was really a confidence booster and was hella fun. The only thing that I do regret is getting so drunk. I was not planning on it in the beginning but I wanted to get a few drinks in me to loosen up and it just escalated from there.

Anyone have any tips or advice they would not mind sharing? It would be greatly appreciated.

I hope this post has maybe helped or motivated someone to take the plunge. It was so much fun getting out there.

Thanks in advance
DJNJ

 

[Charm]

Thank you for sharing your FR. I go out in the field with one purpose: Have fun! By not worrying about number closing and the outcome of my approaches I have much less anxiety when I make those approaches. You have no reason to feel like you did a poor job because you got something very valuable out of this night: Experience and Learning from the field. Those become part of your inner-game and they cannot be bought and becoming a better is only a matter of practice and more learning.

As far as advice goes, that is the easy part! You need to learn how to be more flowing in your conversations and develop the ability to lead the conversation and her interests in a direction that you take them. This is going to take time and some research to get really good at if you aren't a natural at it already. My first recommendation is to learn how to ask questions that get her to communicate her values and things important to her and how she feels about those values and important things in her life. The more you do this, the more rapport you will build. Turn on your curiosity center in your brain and get REALLY curious. Ask her "What are three things about a person that make you feel absolutely comfortable in their presence?" "If you went on a romantic vacation, which of these would you feel more interested in: Hot Tropical Weather and beaches or Freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want. Then ask her to clarify her answer. Keep coming up with questions that evoke feelings that ask her to go inside for the answers. Remember to ask her about the POSITIVE things NEVER the negative. You want her to be feeling REALLY good while she thinks of her answers. She'll associate talking with you to feeling great!"

The real huge advantage of understanding her values and things that are important to her is this: Since you are the prize, by learning these things you can learn if she is someone you want to spend your time with early on from your very first conversation. You are getting to know her better than some guys ever get to know their gfs and you are just meeting for the first time!

 

[Don John NJ]

Thanks a lot for the reply Charm. I really appreciate the advice given and will definately research and field test it. I like the evoking feelings tip. It sounds kind of like NLP but am not farmiliar with it so I would not really know.

Even though I did not close I had so much fun and took away something more valuable then a #; the knowledge and experience.

djnj