Skagzoola
New Member
I want to share my recent experience with coming into contact with this community. A year ago at this time, I was preparing to embark on a road trip with a friend. 3 days, one way. On the way, we listened to The Rational Male, and I was blown away. Since I've assumed the role of AFC for most of my life, hearing what Dr. Tomassi was getting at blew me away, and so many solutions to my problems were made apparent.
I was lucky enough to be out of work for about 4 months last late Spring and into Summer. I used my time to get to the gym regularly, even incorporating a boxing class 3 times a week into my workout. I spent a lot of time in nature, hiking and camping. I used the remainder of my time to work on music that I was writing at the time. I found my frame, and I found it on a level that I had never been able to find before. I listened to that book on repeat several times during those months.
Feeling more confident and less of an AFC, I went and got some nice clothes; a much-needed update to my wardrobe (which mainly consisted of 5.11 tactical clothing). I started going to bars and dance clubs. I managed to strike up conversation on a few occasions with women, though my endeavors never went further than that. But being at a point where this was now a reality was unheard of in the past, so this was progress. At this time, I was still using a few of the dating sites. I have been on them for years with zero luck. Finally, after changing some things on my profiles and experimenting, I was able to meet someone. She invited me to her apartment. Buuuuuuut she reminded me of my drunken Aunt and it was a total turnoff. Neither of us scored. Into the fall I snagged another meet up. She was 11 years younger a 6, a little overweight, and definitely not my type. We met at a bar. 3 hours later, we were doing the deed in a hotel room. We fooled around for about 4 months. During this time, I met up with and old lover from my 20s that I hadn't seen in years. 3 hours after meeting at a bar, we were back at my place doing the deed.
For the first time in my life, I was spinning plates. I hadn't grown this much in this area ever in my life. But I started to lose my frame once I had achieved these things. Over the last few months, I've been slipping back into old habits and frames of mind. I have seen a few threads on this, and knew this was a possibility. If anyone can relate or share their experience on this subject, I would love to hear it.
I was lucky enough to be out of work for about 4 months last late Spring and into Summer. I used my time to get to the gym regularly, even incorporating a boxing class 3 times a week into my workout. I spent a lot of time in nature, hiking and camping. I used the remainder of my time to work on music that I was writing at the time. I found my frame, and I found it on a level that I had never been able to find before. I listened to that book on repeat several times during those months.
Feeling more confident and less of an AFC, I went and got some nice clothes; a much-needed update to my wardrobe (which mainly consisted of 5.11 tactical clothing). I started going to bars and dance clubs. I managed to strike up conversation on a few occasions with women, though my endeavors never went further than that. But being at a point where this was now a reality was unheard of in the past, so this was progress. At this time, I was still using a few of the dating sites. I have been on them for years with zero luck. Finally, after changing some things on my profiles and experimenting, I was able to meet someone. She invited me to her apartment. Buuuuuuut she reminded me of my drunken Aunt and it was a total turnoff. Neither of us scored. Into the fall I snagged another meet up. She was 11 years younger a 6, a little overweight, and definitely not my type. We met at a bar. 3 hours later, we were doing the deed in a hotel room. We fooled around for about 4 months. During this time, I met up with and old lover from my 20s that I hadn't seen in years. 3 hours after meeting at a bar, we were back at my place doing the deed.
For the first time in my life, I was spinning plates. I hadn't grown this much in this area ever in my life. But I started to lose my frame once I had achieved these things. Over the last few months, I've been slipping back into old habits and frames of mind. I have seen a few threads on this, and knew this was a possibility. If anyone can relate or share their experience on this subject, I would love to hear it.
