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My ex found me after months of no contact and I need some expert to explain her behavior

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obnoxious

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I have been no contact with my ex girlfriend for 6 months. She has a HUGE ego and after an arguement we had we both walked away. I was the first to walk away and she did as well. We had been out of contact since. One of the reasons of the arguement was that she didn't feel that I loved her and that I only was using her for sex.

Anyways she found me yesterday at a friends party and said she wanted to talk things over and what happened. She told me that if I had contacted her during no contact we would've been together again, but now it's too late and that a lot of time has passed since then. She told me things she never did before. She told me when we were together that she was feeling very happy and when I was absent she was feeling empty. She admitted that she had falled madly in love with me but was afraid that if she told me I would leave her because I would think she was needy. She told me that she was thinking about me every day and during the no contact she went through hell and was thinking about our moments and felt terrible pain. We were just talking and she wouldn't let me touch her at first. Then she started touching me more and hugging me. We ended up going back to her place to talk and she told me that I would sleep on the couch after that. We ended up in her bed with only our underwear. She kissed me and she let me touch her everywhere but not her *****. Ass tits everything but didn't me have sex with her. I told her there is no point to that bull**** anyways.

Can someone explain what the **** is this behavior exactly? We slept together and naked and even though we touched, we didn't have sex. Also she's seeing some other dude as it was evident by the condoms in the trashbin(well it's 6 months we are apart so it's normal).
What does that all mean? She wants to swing back to me or what? Maybe make me an orbitter? Wouldn't she let me **** her if she wanted to swing back?
I tried to **** her but she told me that's she's afraid that she would end up with me again and went through the same emotions that she did.
 

obnoxious

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Assuming you would like to date her again, tell her. Tell her "I am not interested in being friends. If you would like to date again, give me a call" Then, you don't ever contact her again. If you run into her at a party, go ahead and chat IF SHE APPROACHES YOU, BUT NO TOUCHING. **** that. If she wants you, ALL of you, she can tell you that. Otherwise, she is just an ex.
I initiated all the touching from the beggining. Her body language was defensive and closed at maximum. I made her at ease little by little and we began touching. She admitted many many many deep feelings that she never told me. Only a person that was madly in love would say that. She told me: "You're the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me." "If you just made one phone call, things would go back to normal." "I was thinking about you every day" "I felt pain in your absence and I was only happy in your presence".

Thing is I tried MANY times to initiate sex and she wouldn't let me. Although we were naked in the bed and touching each other. She let me do anything to her but wouldn't get intimate. She told me "You're not gonna have sex with me today". I asked her what does she want from me and she asked me to tell her what I wanted from her, and that she doesn't know.

The thing is I'm afraid that this is all an attempt from her to make me an orbitter while she ****s her new guy. She told me that she's afraid to date me again and go back to this emotional rollercoaster that she was.

On the other hand, many times she repeatedly told me that she only wants to talk to me and nothing else. That it is too late now after so many months. But then again when we were in her bed she told me "I told you that we would only talk but we ended up here". I'm confused as ****.
 

Spaz

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She did that to get validation for her womanly pride.

And she got it.

While you failed as a man.

Now go back to NC, there's nothing there for you.

All her words were manipulation to make you an orbiter at best and at the worst to emotionally ruin you.
 

obnoxious

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She did that to get validation for her womanly pride.

And she got it.

While you failed as a man.

Now go back to NC, there's nothing there for you.

All her words were manipulation to make you an orbiter at best and at the worst to emotionally ruin you.
That's what I'm thinking too, unfortunately. But there are many contradictions. Like letting me touch her naked body. At first she wouldn't even let me get close to her. And she was shaking from her anxiety and excitement. Like literally shaking.
 

Spaz

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That's what I'm thinking too, unfortunately. But there are many contradictions. Like letting me touch her naked body. At first she wouldn't even let me get close to her. And she was shaking from her anxiety and excitement. Like literally shaking.
She might even let you fvck her to string you along if you are still unaffected by her charms.

But she's gone, has been so for 6 months and other men's DNA has been doing back strokes in her tight a$$, down her throat and inside her womb - all the while claiming to miss you, common man, r u that dumb to fall for that trick ?
 

Chev.Chelios

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man, exact replica of a scenario I went threw with one of my ex's that lasted for years.

bro, the behavior of these fvcking females will drive you absolutely insane.

the amount of push pull these girls will do is fvcked up..

you can speculate and conceptualize all day about tactics and how to handle her to the moon and back, but the very core of the issue is that shes just a stupid person incapable of respect and boundaries with other people.

at some point in your game journey you'll fall victim to these fvcked up women, and you will finaly realize through years of suffering and heartbreak these girls are fvxked in the head with severe low vibration energy, all there meant to do, and the only reason they choose to be in your life, is to fvck you up emotionally and damage you.

these types of females are about the worst possible humans to have in your life, they will never add value, treat you well, be nice, no.. they only cause problems. act like a victim, blame you for everything, steing you along and constantly make you walk on eggshells and jump threw hoops.

thru passive aggressive emotional abuse they somehow find a way to hook you into them, and they somehow find some magical fvcking way to export their low energy into you, and then blame you for the issues at hand, which makes you feel bad and drags you down causing you to invest more and to fix things, which makes her hate you more and cry about "how things never work out" and "we couldve been together if you did this" "their was always a chance between us" and they will constantly say "your fault"

they will never leave you alone and they will never go no contact until they've broken you, then if you manage to rebuild yourself and forget about them they will MAGICALLY reappear again and try to knock your ass out again.

women that are good, and who are capable of respect and loving people never pull any of this.

women that are toxcialy damaged and get off on hurting people do exactly what you've described in this post.

it's not your job to help homeless people, it's not your job to save animals in the wild who eat each other, it's not your job to fight another mans wars, and it's not your job to save and tolerate a stupid azz fvcking emotionally damaged female who is dumb as fvck.

even though her body is probably super hot and sticking your dck inside of it is fun, the brain in her skull is no good so her hot body is pretty much a waste of materials.

if your fvcking hot psycho girls they will 100% guarantie ruin your life.

also, another reason why these girls keep coming back ad trying to make things work is that they have massive self attack issues.

anything good they get they self sabotage and ruin, so if your a guy she loves and wanted to be with you her negative self sabotaging nature will fvck things up with you on purpose and then she feels heartbroken about it. victim mentality bullchit.

then she will come back to you and ask to try again, and when you get back together with her it validates her and shell will self sabotage the relationship again, leaving you speechless.

it's a real self destructive loop of hell and it gets worse and worse until things really get bad, domestic violence charges, drug addiction, heartbreak that lasts for years, murder and jealously etc.

if you look in the news daily your always hearing of a couple or family kiling each other.

in order for you to cut her off you need to fully realize what your getting into with these toxic girls, and you learn to never engage with such a female ever again, you learn to only go after and pursue girls that deserve it and treat you right, even though those girls are rare.

last thing, the girl your talking about in this thread you can run a little experiment on, try treating her like absolute horsesht every time she contacts you, flake her, fvck other girls and send her nudes, blame her for everything, talk chit about the way she dresses/talks etc, make her feel worthless and disgusting about herself, if she's stuck in the desert without a car dying and calls you for help still flake her (read my thread about how I ditched my ex with a broken down car lolol) watch how she'll become attracted to you more and magically in love with you again, it will trip you out.

these girls are only attracted to negative evil men that beat them.

and they treat men who respect them like complete trash. friend zoning constantly, never giving up their pvssy, cuddling but no fvcking, choosing gangster drug dealers over you. it's fvxked up
 

obnoxious

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last thing, the girl your talking about in this thread you can run a little experiment on, try treating her like absolute horsesht every time she contacts you, flake her, fvck other girls and send her nudes, blame her for everything, talk chit about the way she dresses/talks etc, make her feel worthless and disgusting about herself, if she's stuck in the desert without a car dying and calls you for help still flake her (read my thread about how I ditched my ex with a broken down car lolol) watch how she'll become attracted to you more and magically in love with you again, it will trip you out.

these girls are only attracted to negative evil men that beat them.

and they treat men who respect them like complete trash. friend zoning constantly, never giving up their pvssy, cuddling but no fvcking, choosing gangster drug dealers over you. it's fvxked up
Bro the girl left me because I treated her like trash not cause I was beta. I was refusing to spend non sexual time with her. I was disappearing for weeks without telling her ****. I was an asshat to her. The reason we broke up was because she couldn't handle the emotional pain anymore. So I doubt giving her more pain will make her come back. I was the opposite of the beta guy. I was a total ****heel to her.
 

Chev.Chelios

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well then it's her fault for getting into relationships and catching feelings for a guy that treats her like chit, my point again.

and her fault again for trying to reinitiate contact with a guy that treated her like trash. means she's used to and tolerates abuse, not someone you want in your life.

healthy people don't allow negative chit like that.

a sht test I like to run on girls myself now is that I'll throw a few dck moves at her and see how she reacts, if she has personal boundaries and doesnt allow it and calls me out I'll like and respect her more.

if a girl allows me to walk all over her and takes the abuse like a btch I'll never to to her again lol.

also a good idea to improve yourself and your own toxic energy you might have. I know i have alot of it myself still but I'm aware of it and eana be better

<3
 

obnoxious

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well then it's her fault for getting into relationships and catching feelings for a guy that treats her like chit, my point again.

and her fault again for trying to reinitiate contact with a guy that treated her like trash. means she's used to and tolerates abuse, not someone you want in your life.

healthy people don't allow negative chit like that.

a sht test I like to run on girls myself now is that I'll throw a few dck moves at her and see how she reacts, if she has personal boundaries and doesnt allow it and calls me out I'll like and respect her more.

if a girl allows me to walk all over her and takes the abuse like a btch I'll never to to her again lol.

also a good idea to improve yourself and your own toxic energy you might have. I know i have alot of it myself still but I'm aware of it and eana be better

<3
The relationship was abusive man, that's why we're hooked on each other so damn much. ****!! She was using jealousy and other men to make me unable to leave her and raise her value and I was running disappearing and reappearing all the time. We both got ****ing obsessed with this.Obsession is caused by all situations where pain and pleasure are randomly doled out (just look at gambling, lol). The cycle has made us both unable to move on I think. She is attracted indeed to evil men that treat her like trash. When we meet I was in some serious **** that involved crime(I'm past that now). Her exes was also scumbags/thugs. This girl is ****ed , but we have both falled victim to the obsession of abuse. We have broken up many times in the relationship. I was treating her like dirt and she was using jealousy on me. They went hand to hand. She's also ****ed in the head like you said, she gets more attracted to men that treat her like horse****.
In our previous break when she came back, I tried to be nice to her and withint a week she was acting distant and cold. Then we had a big fight and she fell in love again.
 

Dash Riprock

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This is a classic / textbook example of the relationship dynamic between a probable Cluster B (her) and probable Co-Dependent (you) - research this dynamic.

You attract to each other like flies to s*hit but end up sucking the life and vigor out of each other until you waste valuable months and maybe years of your life on this emotionally draining merry go round, letting higher quality people walk away. The Cluster B almost always "wins" vs the Co-Dependent, you'll come away crushed and beaten most of the time...and end up on dating message boards pining away about a "crazy ex."

Neither of you will "get better" without serious therapy.

My recommendation? Go full NC, if you have the balls to, and see a therapist. Work on fixing you not her or this toxic thing you tried to call a "relationship."

Good luck.

Dash
 

EyeBRollin

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No need to analyze. “Great seeing you hun, give me a call” is all you had to say and walk away. If she hits you up, invite her over. If she doesn’t, she doesn’t. She’s an ex dude move on.
 
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