Golden Arms
Master Don Juan
Today was like every other Tuesday in every way except one: A new man was hired at the local supplement store.
I woke up around 11am and threw on my No Fear T-shirt and some spandex before hitting the treadmill for an hour. I had a good cardio workout, took a shower and then on with my day.
Around 1pm, I got the Iroc tuned (I was pissed too because the weather sucked and I just got her washed yesterday) and then proceeded to jostle on down to Supplement Warehouse. I almost had an aneurism when I entered because "Big D" was not behind the counter, but rather some 50-year old waste of flesh was sitting there. This old man had probably never even done a hack squat for Christ's sake.
So I tried to hide my disgust from this elderly gentleman but couldn't bite me tongue quick enough before blurting out "Who in the fvck are you?" He attempted to feed me some bull$hit story about being new but I didn't care so I immediately cut him off and warned him to keep his mouth closed or I could potentially kill him with my hands.
Enraged, I was in the corner piling this week's supply of protein jugs in my arms when I caught a glimpse of this old man standing adjacent to me. I was trying to be quick lickity-split and I was already in a hurry because I had to run on down to Mobil to pick up some 2-for-1 smokes (cigs are expensive these days and the sale was only valid until they were out of packs). Also, I usually take my mother's truck to the supplement store every week because I can fit a skid's worth of powder in the cab but I wrecked her Datsun on Saturday night (I was a little drunk and drove it into a newspaper stand). I had to pick her truck up before I went to the gym again at 4 to do some quads.
He was holding a bottle of creatine mono-whatever and just before he tried to suggestively sell that crap to me…I threw the jugs as hard as I possibly could at this man. He became frightened and backed away as I charged towards him.
Just before I pummeled him to the ground, I made a quick zero-radius right-hand turn and shoulder-blocked a neatly positioned display of protein powder pyramided four stories high. I knocked them all to the floor and then reached into my pants and just before pulling a steak knife out on him (I keep a small one strapped to my outer thigh for protection at all times), I evaluated the consequences if I were to be caught so let him escape with only a small cut from when I thwarted his melon with the MetRX container.
I can honestly say with all sincerity that I hope that this old man goes to hell someday (hopefully sooner than later). How dare he attempt to sell a professional bodybuilder such supplements? I can’t get the image out of my head of that “look” that was in his eye when he thought I was going to seriously harm him – there is nothing more rewarding than scaring people.
Don’t forget bro’s: No pain, No gain! LIFTING IS A STATE OF MIND!
I woke up around 11am and threw on my No Fear T-shirt and some spandex before hitting the treadmill for an hour. I had a good cardio workout, took a shower and then on with my day.
Around 1pm, I got the Iroc tuned (I was pissed too because the weather sucked and I just got her washed yesterday) and then proceeded to jostle on down to Supplement Warehouse. I almost had an aneurism when I entered because "Big D" was not behind the counter, but rather some 50-year old waste of flesh was sitting there. This old man had probably never even done a hack squat for Christ's sake.
So I tried to hide my disgust from this elderly gentleman but couldn't bite me tongue quick enough before blurting out "Who in the fvck are you?" He attempted to feed me some bull$hit story about being new but I didn't care so I immediately cut him off and warned him to keep his mouth closed or I could potentially kill him with my hands.
Enraged, I was in the corner piling this week's supply of protein jugs in my arms when I caught a glimpse of this old man standing adjacent to me. I was trying to be quick lickity-split and I was already in a hurry because I had to run on down to Mobil to pick up some 2-for-1 smokes (cigs are expensive these days and the sale was only valid until they were out of packs). Also, I usually take my mother's truck to the supplement store every week because I can fit a skid's worth of powder in the cab but I wrecked her Datsun on Saturday night (I was a little drunk and drove it into a newspaper stand). I had to pick her truck up before I went to the gym again at 4 to do some quads.
He was holding a bottle of creatine mono-whatever and just before he tried to suggestively sell that crap to me…I threw the jugs as hard as I possibly could at this man. He became frightened and backed away as I charged towards him.
Just before I pummeled him to the ground, I made a quick zero-radius right-hand turn and shoulder-blocked a neatly positioned display of protein powder pyramided four stories high. I knocked them all to the floor and then reached into my pants and just before pulling a steak knife out on him (I keep a small one strapped to my outer thigh for protection at all times), I evaluated the consequences if I were to be caught so let him escape with only a small cut from when I thwarted his melon with the MetRX container.
I can honestly say with all sincerity that I hope that this old man goes to hell someday (hopefully sooner than later). How dare he attempt to sell a professional bodybuilder such supplements? I can’t get the image out of my head of that “look” that was in his eye when he thought I was going to seriously harm him – there is nothing more rewarding than scaring people.
Don’t forget bro’s: No pain, No gain! LIFTING IS A STATE OF MIND!
