"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Moving out on your own - Rent and Savings

Crissco

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To cut a long story short, yet again im having problems with my father. Hes a manic, he cant apologize, he sees his own son and a threat, he trys to control me, manipulate me, comes into my room and starts a fight because I didnt change the light bulb when it went out and he gave me an attiude and expected me not to be a bit pissed about his attitude.

Im only dealing with it because of all the good that hes done. Letting me stay at his place, paying for me, putting up with me not having a job right now... But I cant take it anymore, im actaully starting to get twitches because im afraid he going tho physically hurt me again ( Im 5'5, hes 6'2) I can hold my own but still, not a good feeling on the inside.

I want to move out on my own, get my own studio apartment.

I made a 2 year plan. Im off probation in 2 years, and ill be 25. Not too old, not too young.

Kept the plan sweet and simple. What I want to know is about how much do I need to save and make to get my own place.

Lets say the apartment is around 700-900 a month

The plans is this:

-2 jobs over the course of the 2 years.

-Save up $3500 (going to have enough to pay 4 months if it rent is 800 a month)

-Get stuido apartment.

-Live the way I want
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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L B

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To be safe, you need to at least have a year's worth of expenses saved up, have stable employment, and discretionary income each month for additional savings and emergency.

Expenses should cover: rent/utilities, car payment/maintenance/insurance, food, entertainment, cell phone. Calculate all that to see how much you spend each month then you will appreciate how much living at home will save you money. But if you do decide to leave, make sure you have all your bases covered because you don't want to come back home.
 

Crissco

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L B said:
To be safe, you need to at least have a year's worth of expenses saved up, have stable employment, and discretionary income each month for additional savings and emergency.

Expenses should cover: rent/utilities, car payment/maintenance/insurance, food, entertainment, cell phone. Calculate all that to see how much you spend each month then you will appreciate how much living at home will save you money. But if you do decide to leave, make sure you have all your bases covered because you don't want to come back home.
Thanks for the detailed explanation bro.

Its going to take a little longer then I thought. I need about $9,500 saved up then??

As for the utilities, most of the apartments around here have a lot of the utilities included.
 

runner83

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Just do it brah.

Fvck safety. You only live once.

The key factor is employment - if you know you are going into stable employment, your buffer can be much less.

I can't comment on costs, since would be different here, but do a bit of analysis and see what you need.

I was a similar way with my dad when I lived at home. Similar personality types, and a few times he completely flew off the handle and went psycho...at least before I got big enough :D

But I've lived away from home now for over 6 years and since then, I really enjoy catching up with him for drinks.

Not saying it would be the same with your old man, since mine is an all right dude, but you never know...

Do it!
 

Crissco

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runner83 said:
Just do it brah.

Fvck safety. You only live once.

The key factor is employment - if you know you are going into stable employment, your buffer can be much less.

I can't comment on costs, since would be different here, but do a bit of analysis and see what you need.

I was a similar way with my dad when I lived at home. Similar personality types, and a few times he completely flew off the handle and went psycho...at least before I got big enough :D

But I've lived away from home now for over 6 years and since then, I really enjoy catching up with him for drinks.

Not saying it would be the same with your old man, since mine is an all right dude, but you never know...

Do it!
Im not saying hes not an alright dude, we're cool most of the time, but since were living together there are times we want to ring each other fu*king necks.

Thats sorta my mentality right now. Like the nike slogan. Just do it.

I have to make sure I can afford everything though, thats obviously number one. Thats why I want to get 2 jobs and work school..gym..etc around that.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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ProDJ26

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I recently had the same problem and posted a thread awhile ago. I'm going through the exact same sh!t so I can relate. My advice? LEAVE THE HOUSE EVERYDAY!!!! Even if you have no money,etc. It shows that your trying rather than just saying you are. Its funny because I keep seeing the same sh!t over and over with guys our age bro. Seems like the majority of the men today ages 18-27 is struggling so hard while women our age have more if not triple what we have. I'd suggest doing as I currently do (above) and try and save $ until you can move out. But at the same time you have probation fees so you have to put your priorities straight. Just continue to play "the game". The catch is hes gonna start getting on you about where you been etc..... The response? "I got up off my @$$ to look for a job so I can be successful someday"

THEN SHUT THE H3LL UP AND GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!! DON'T SAY A WORD!!!

If he starts a fight just say "your probably right what do you want me to?"
This way he wins hope that helps
 

Crissco

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ProDJ26 said:
I recently had the same problem and posted a thread awhile ago. I'm going through the exact same sh!t so I can relate. My advice? LEAVE THE HOUSE EVERYDAY!!!! Even if you have no money,etc. It shows that your trying rather than just saying you are. Its funny because I keep seeing the same sh!t over and over with guys our age bro. Seems like the majority of the men today ages 18-27 is struggling so hard while women our age have more if not triple what we have. I'd suggest doing as I currently do (above) and try and save $ until you can move out. But at the same time you have probation fees so you have to put your priorities straight. Just continue to play "the game". The catch is hes gonna start getting on you about where you been etc..... The response? "I got up off my @$$ to look for a job so I can be successful someday"

THEN SHUT THE H3LL UP AND GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!! DON'T SAY A WORD!!!

If he starts a fight just say "your probably right what do you want me to?"
This way he wins hope that helps
Good advice bro. He really doesnt bug me about where im going, just what time im gonig to be home, to know whether to lock the door or not. Overall good advice, thanks.
 

Fuglydude

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Crissco, not sure if you're from NYC or some other part of NY, but rent actually seems quite reasonable. However, does the economy suck that much that it's gonna take you 2 years to save up $3500? What jobs are you doing? Since you're living at home right you're gonna have virtually no overhead... so why is it gonna take you that long to save up that kinda money? If I pick up a few more shifts I can easily save 1k/month, and this is with paying my mortgage, bills, food, going out, supplements, gym/trainer etc.

Consider getting roommates. I've literally never lived alone, and I moved out since I was 21, so like 8 years ago. Shared places drastically cut down on the rent you'll pay, and you'll be able to afford a much nicer place (and still have your own private room) with a few roommates. For example, one of the places I lived was a nice big 1200 sq. foot condo. It was just me and one of my buddies and I was only paying around $500/month.

Good luck.
 
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