Moving in with girlfriend... Advice?

[drak_ool]

In a month I will move in with my girlfriend. Since we are both moving to a new city we figured it would make sense financially. Why pay for two apartments when we'll spent most of our time together anyway?

I met my girl this summer, spent two amazing months with her, but then I had to leave the country. In the past 3 months I have only seen her for a few days, when she flew in to visit me. We get along really well, talk a lot and she has a very high interest level. But going from LDR to living together might be a tough transition, even though I'm pretty excited right now.

I don't see why things wouldn't work out well, however, I've never lived with a girlfriend before. From stories on sosuave I know that a lot of relationships go south when you move in together. So I would appreciate any advice from brothers who have been in this situation in the past, or who are living with a girlfriend right now.

And please don't say "Just don't do it", since that is already decided...

 

[thecurtainfalls]

drak, I don't know if you remember my thread from a while back, but I myself went from LDR to living together.

My main advice is to warn you that you're now "on the clock" 24/7. You are being appraised by your S.O. at all times and must continue to act congruently with what attracted her to you in the first place.

In my case, we got along great for almost two years before the problems started. Be vigilant for the waning of the "honeymoon" phase, because a live-in relationship takes a lot of work to keep from becoming "roomies that fvck once in a while".

I wish you the best man, I really do. I hope it works out better for you than it did for me, that's for sure. Search for the thread I started of my sordid story if you need some perspective.

 

[drak_ool]

Yes, as a matter of fact I think I remember your story... Was it with a girl who moved from the east coast just for you, had no friends here, all dependent on you. And then she started drifting away, became more independent and then broke up with you?

At this point I don't know if we ll live together long term because of work/school issues. This is only gonna be for 5 months, maybe more if things work out. So this is more like an experiment. However, if things work out, we ll get more serious about it, and then we could be in a long term living together situation.

To go back to your story, we both already have good friends where we will be living. I don't know how much of a red flag this is, but when I was there over the summer my girl never made plans to hang out with her friends unless I mentionned her bringing some girls out. Now that I m not there, she probably went out once in the last 3 months, even though I tell her to do it more often. So I could see a clinginess issue developing here. That was exactly the problem you had! How did you solve that? Or how would you solve that?

 

[Eternal87]

I hope you understand the consequences of moving in with a woman you are in a relationship with.

I agree with what thecurtainfalls has to say. As I too have lived with my ex for 3 years. The first year and a half was great, after that it started going downhill.

Once you live together EVERYTHING becomes an issue. On top of that, you're constantly sh1t tested 24/7.

Let me just say this, I was in a LTR with my ex for 2 years before she moved in with me. The relationship was great, everything I could ever want. 1.5 years into moving in, it was complete hell.

Because we lived together we eventually broke up 1.5 years later. So in all we lived together for 3 years and dated for 5 years.

Come to think of it, if we never moved in together, I could say that we probably would still be together today.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

And please don't say "Just don't do it", since that is already decided...

Sounds like you already know deep down that this is a BAD IDEA for a variety of reasons!! But I'll speak from first hand experience.

When I was 24 my gf who I was involved with for well over a year, but had only been official with for about 5 months moved in with me with no where else to go.

It was awesome for the first few months. She'd surprise me with dinner when I got home, took the mind blowing sex to another level and we even got a little dog... LOL

Then as quickly as it happened, it spiraled out of control. She started getting jealous when I went out with my friends, she started acting weird and before I knew it we were at each others throats for everything.

You get the idea.... sex went from almost every day to a couple times a month and I knew it was done. I broke up with her and vowed to NEVER live with a gf again unless I was going to marry her.

Bottom line; its not a good idea because it takes A LOT of the elements that keep your girl attracted to away.

She'll no longer wonder where you are.....

She'll no longer have to fuvk you live a pornstar because she's got you under lock and key.

She'll no longer fight to be your girl because your with her nearly 24/7


If you want this relationship to end, then proceed with moving in with her. And don't give us the financial reason, you can easily get a smaller apartment, a studio or even get a loan if you must.

I don't know why I typed this all, cuz you already said your going to do it no matter what.

So I'll end this post by telling you to bookmark this post and when your sweet, loving gf can't stand you anymore, to realize what I was telling you here.





PIMP

 

[drak_ool]

Come to think of it, if we never moved in together, I could say that we probably would still be together today.

But think about this: why would you want to be with a girl for 5 or more years before realizing you don't really get along with her? I think if you're really into a girl and she's even more into you, moving in together alows you to see if you two are really meant to be, or if it was just a spur of the moment thing.

I believe some relationships are meant to be, and some are not. If it's not meant to happen, no matter how long to fight it off, it will fall apart at some point. For me I'd rather have it happen sooner than later.