"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Most things are going well- but house is a dump

Lion

Senior Don Juan
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My life is going fairly well, I've made the choice to dedicate myself to improvement in every direction.
The obstacle is, my place. It's untidy.

I'm living with my aunt & uncle right now, looking for a career job. The place I live in is untidy and needs organising. My family and myself have tried to improve this situation but old habits die hard. My aunt and uncle work long hours and care little for presentation. They say its a house for living in, not showing off.

My room has even become untidy and I hate it that way. (I will try to tidy my room but the rest of the house is gonna be messy still!) I'm either working long hours in my part time job or scouring the job market for a career, my free time goes to my fitness.

I see my only way out of THIS as getting a career on track then moving out with the income to buy/rent a flat.



I have a very respectful gf who is brilliant. Every time we go out, we go back to hers, I don't have a problem with that at all. Neither does she to my knowledge.


But I feel like I should be taking her back to mine, and inviting her over to watch dvds, music etc... I want to.


I guess I'm worried she'll see my room and the house and think worse of me. Despite me being amazing, possessions and residences are extensions of ourselves, even in my mind.


Should I keep her away or just let her see it... :flowers:
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Lust

Master Don Juan
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You start it off.

Start tidying the place up, dedicate a few minutes every day. Instead of asking your busy aunt and uncle to clean the place up, just ask them to keep it clean.

One problem we have is people not putting this back in the right place, get this habit going, help them along the way.

If they pull out the "This is a house for living, not showing off" line again, tell them you can't live in a place like this, it feels uncomfortable for you.

Make sure they know that you are dead serious about this.
 

Lion

Senior Don Juan
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thanks for the advice. I've told them before, as serious as I can be without being unappreciative of their accomodation. I have to live there and I have no other options. I guess I really need to set aside a week of just tidying...maybe not even seeing my girl or working!
 
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