Most depressing night in awhile

[AlwaysExcel]

I've been learning that everything in life exists in tension. Right now the tension is between spending time in my fun social circles and macking on strangers. I have a lot of fun with my friends and my social circles. The trouble is that my social circles have slim pickings for hot single girls. I was at a friend's party tonight. Great atmosphere and music, but a serious sausage fest.

I needed to get laid. So I decided to dip out to this other party some other friends were at. Most of the people were not my style but there were a lot of single 8's running around. I talked to about every girl up in there and tried all types of material. I got nowhere.

My disadvantage was that this party still had more guys than girls, even though it was a step up from the first party. The girls could take their pick of the dudes and everyone gave them attention. Still I'm schooled in DJ and PUA crap. I should shine above the others.

Nope, no edge. It was like my usual AFC days except that I actively approached and observed other interactions Girls lost interest in me mid convo and a lot walked off. Girls refused to engage and answered my interesting questions with "I dunno" and answered my neg hits with "sorry but I'm really tired." Nobody wanted to play. Boring b*tches.

I was with a couple friends. One is a natural and the other has learned some game on his own. The natural got some positive response from girls who blew me out. The other guy looked very uncomfortable the whole time and only hung with folks we knew. So I guess it was a hard environment. The funny thing is that these girls were all run of the mill 8s and no one really special!

Sorry Squirrels, I guess I have no business doling out advice on attraction since I really don't know what's up.

Needless to say, I didn't get laid. I'm not sure who at that party got laid though. It seemed like a party of attention *****s but I know they had to all be horny.

The most discouraging thing about "field experience" is that I learn almost nothing because there are multiple interpretations for everything that happens. Is it my outer game? My inner game? My style vs. their style? Their hang ups?
Oh well, at least I can respect myself for trying but it would be nice to get laid on my terms and not just get lucky on her terms. Fvck! Ass!

 

[Soma]

The easy answer:

It's your inner game.

The hard answer:

It's your inner game.

Thats right. Your inner game is always the answer. I'm tired...just got back from a club and it's almost 5am. So here's a quick metaphor that should be easy enough to figure out and see how it applies to all of life....

If you squeeze an orange you will get orange juice. No matter how hard you squeeze, or what different techniques you use, or what time of day it is, or what part of the world you're from...when you squeeze an orange you will ALWAYS get orange juice.

-Soma

 

[Caveman]

Originally posted by Soma
If you squeeze an orange you will get orange juice. No matter how hard you squeeze, or what different techniques you use, or what time of day it is, or what part of the world you're from...when you squeeze an orange you will ALWAYS get orange juice.

Have you been drinking??

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Originally posted by Soma


If you squeeze an orange you will get orange juice. No matter how hard you squeeze, or what different techniques you use, or what time of day it is, or what part of the world you're from...when you squeeze an orange you will ALWAYS get orange juice.

-Soma

wtf?!?! haha..i'm with caveman on this one..i'm sobering up from the club too but i dont think i'm as buzzed as our buddy soma here...if i were..i'd probably understand what this enigma means! one damn thing for certain..i want some fresh squeezed orange juice right now

 

[Soma]

hahhaa you azzholes. ;p

I just woke up so I'll explain what I meant.

If you squeeze an orange you get orange juice...meaning when you're put under pressure everything that comes out of you is an exact reflection of what's inside you. Everything you do in life is based on who you are on the inside. If you want to change who you are, the life you're living, the experiences you're having, everything...the ONLY thing you need to concern yourself with is changing your inner self.

I rarely talk about this because most people either don't understand it or they fight against it and never see the truth.

Learning techniques (for whatever reason), etc., won't help you for shiet until you're mature enough to accept them. Otherwise you're trying to put a bandaid over a huge wound.

Think of it like this...

All the problems in your life a like a tree. Every time you try to learn a new technique or seek advice you're cutting off one of the branches of that problem tree. In the short term you may have rid yourself of one problem but it's only temporary. Because that branch will grow back. You will revert to past behaviors, never moving forward, because you have yet to cut down the phuckin root of your problems. You're cutting branches which grow back in time when you should be digging the roots up and pulling that phucking tree out of the earth and tossing it away. So stop working on fixing your outer self and start working on understanding your inner self.

Bling bling.

I sound like damn new age homo. haha.

-Soma

 

[Dirtheart]

I sound like damn new age homo. haha.

True, but I thought the metaphors were kinda cool. I agree completely too.

I went through the acting/techniques stage trying to cover my inner self and my problems. I tried to act like the jerk, I dropped lots of techniques in wherever I could and I'm ashamed to admit I even tried some Speed Seduction patterns on someone and ended up looking like a total fool.

Finally, I've started getting my inner self in order now and feel perfectly comfortable trusting my own judgement and actions.

Also, when you get your inner game in order, you can walk away from these depressing nights without a care.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

Thanks for the replies! You have a point about the inner game Soma. I've been reading some TD posts on ASF today and found that I had an incomplete view of inner game. Inner game doesn't seem to be just about getting a life and becoming happy, like what is constantly preached here. I have an extremely interesting life and am generally happy. That only gets me women on occasion and obviously not last night.

Inner game is also not just about becoming indifferent to rejection and failure. However, as Dirtheart alluded to, I do need to work more on this aspect. But it's hard not to be frustrated when you're uncertain about WHAT you're doing wrong. I want to know what I did wrong and progress so that I don't have these nights. Yeah, the high self esteem part of inner game can help a person not become depressed about these nights---damage control. Yet if I'm still having these nights, then HSE is NOT the key to upping my game.

What I have been overlooking in my inner game is withstanding social pressure, which is greater when I'm out of my usual environments. And withstanding social pressure by paying attention to the vibe of that particular situation and then playing with it. I think this applies to both the general environment I'm in at the time and the type of girl and her personal situation. After all, the social environment provides pressure, as does the specific interaction with the girl.

Since I live in the midwest, I have to go out of my usual environment and scenes to find women because the subcultures and artistic social circles are smaller out here. I know that I haven't been paying much attention to these aspects and it's probably often disabled me to some extent.

On the other hand, it wasn't like I was a complete stranger and totally out of my environment. I knew a bunch of people there, including the girl who threw the party. Also, this was my natural friend's environment and he introduced me to various girls. When girls gave me closed BL, I commented on it and made fun of them. So it wasn't like I was acting like a shy lone stranger. I just wasn't in as tight of a social circle as at the other party.

Maybe my C&F wasn't natural enough and I wasn't funny. Maybe I needed a real wing. Maybe I still didn't withstand the pressure despite the supports. Maybe I was too concentrated on getting laid. Maybe I didn't project enough sexual state. Maybe these girls had too much validation and C&F didn't phase them because they could go on to someone else. Maybe I didn't show enough value to stand out from the crowd. Maybe it was because I didn't take my own advice and increase the outlandish behaviour. As with everything in my life, uncertainty is the only certainty.

Oh well, at least I know what I've been overlooking even though I'm not sure that was my problem.

 

[Don_Marko]

Heeeeeeeey Excel

Watch the fcking attitude bro! Read trough the archives of some of the best PUAs and you'll see that everyone has rough nights. Bad crowd, ****ty music, bad mood... whatever...

Next time you wanna get laid so badly and all the women are in b!tch mode do this.... first go to washroom and jerk off and then when all the tension is gone go and make fun of every dumb chick there is untill either starts crying or gives you a well deserved slap in the face... go drink some more and laugh ur ass off

It's all good!

P.S. Next time you know there's a **** farm gathering B.Y.O.B. (Bring Your Own B!tches), go picking up a week before, preferably younger chicks, make it sound like the party will be like sooo coool ,get all your AFC friends to hit on the girls, they will love the attention, however they won't be attracted to the chumps, you enjoy the party and then after sufficient consumption of liquir they'll be all over you.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

Thanks for the encouragement Don Marko! It's funny that you mentioned bringing a gaggle of women. My natural friend actually did this last night and does this on a regular basis. I should probably watch him closer.