Mixed Signals

[noisy_cricket]

The term "mixed signals" does not indicate that I know anything about relationships.

I have been acquainted with a girl for about a week. I have visited her dorm a couple of times.

When it comes to general signals:
She has occasional laughter and general eye contact.
She has never sought my attention, but allows me to have hers.
Sometimes she enjoys teasing other times, not so much.

She is a general sweet girl type:
Doesn't drink
No serious relationships
has been in relationships

After we had talked for a while we progressively ended up on her bed together on more of a friendly basis, it seemed. I told her that i found her attractive and that i liked her. We had been getting along rather well.

She disagreed with my saying that she was attractive. I had expected or hoped that she would be flattered.

I asked her if she was attracted to me and she replied, "You're nice." I'm sure that my dissatisfaction with that answer showed. She said that she is generally into those skinny, geeky guys...
I asked her if i could hold her hand intimately. She allowed it and commented on my bizarre approach.

I pressed my face to her hand. There were periods of silence. I ran my fingers through her hand and ran my fingers along the back of her neck. No complaints (from her). I laid my head in her lap and she ran her fingers through my hair. We were both tired. She said that she would stay awake until I decided to go to bed. She said that she likes to be friends with a guy before gets involved or something along those lines. After I was sure that she probably wanted me to allow her to get some sleep I left.

The next day I made eye contact with her, but neither of us said "hi". I spoke to the guy next to her that i vaguely knew as if I were unfazed. After a brief conversation with him, I asked her how she was "this morning". She said she was tired because she was up late the night before. After class, we left and she didn't take any initiative to seek me. I saw her walking and talking to some guy, perhaps a friend, as went back to her dorm I assume.
I didn't pursue her.

Is it possible that she had been humoring me that night or that she... didn't like me when she woke up?

I already don't want to lose her. That must seem rather ridiculous to those who read this.

Please send me feedback thanks.

 

[nishbuk]

http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/

Please, do some reading before asking questions like these.

 

[OneArmDeeJay]

After we had talked for a while we progressively ended up on her bed together on more of a friendly basis, it seemed. I told her that i found her attractive and that i liked her. We had been getting along rather well.

Ok, not bad.... i guess

I asked her if i could hold her hand intemately. She allowed it and commented on my bizarre approach.

Do you blame her...

I pressed my face to her hand. There were periods of silence. I ran my fingers through her hand and ran my fingers along the back of her neck. No complaints (from her). She said that she would stay awake until I decided to go to bed. She said that she likes to be friends with a guy before gets involved or something along those lines. After I was sure that she probably wanted me to allow her to get some sleep I left.

WTF? Man, I can't belive your on her bed, alone, and all you did was fell alseep in her lap. Are you gay and want to be put in the friend zone? I'm sure shes wondering too...

It kills me to hear a guy with a girl, on their bed and do NOTHING .

The next day I made eye contact with her, but neither of us said "hi". I spoke to the guy next to her that i vaguely knew as if I were unfased. After a brief conversation with him, I asked her how she was "this morning". She said she was tired because she was up late the night before. After class, we left and she didn't take any initiative to seek me. I saw her walking and talking to some guy, perhaps a friend, as went back to her dorm I assume.

Why didn't you say hi? IMO you played too aloof and too AFC. You say you don't want to lose her yet your actions says other wise. You did nothing to make her yours and you had the best opportunity right there that one night in her bed.

Oh and theres no mixed signals from her just all from you.

 

[Desdinova]

First of all, read the DJ bible.

She is a general sweet girl type:
Doesn't drink
No serious relationships
has been in relationships

I love this statement. She could have fvcked 28 guys, and she's still sweet. She could have run some guy into bankruptcy, but she's still sweet. You've known her for a week. Fvck sweet.

I told her that i found her attractive and that i liked her.

...and it all goes downhill from here. You vomited your heart onto her lap. I'm sure she loved that. You tell a girl you like her by your actions, not your words.

She disagreed with my saying that she was attractive. I had expected or hoped that she would be flattered.

....and you were wrong. You've put her on a pedestal because she's physically attractive. You're worshipping her after knowning her for one week. You're just another typical Average Frustrated Chump (AFC) that has based your attraction for her on her looks.

I asked her if she was attracted to me and she replied, "You're nice." I'm sure that my dissatisfaction with that answer showed. She said that she is generally into those skinny, geeky guys...

You're a nice guy. You're a friend. She told you what kind of guys she's into, because you're NOT one of the guys she mentioned. She was blowing you off.

I asked her if i could hold her hand intimately. She allowed it and commented on my bizarre approach.

Why didn't you ask her if you could lick her ass while you were at it? It would have been just as bizarre. Holding hands comes during or after the first date. If you thought you were on a date, you need to have your brain examined. Better yet, read the DJ Bible.

I pressed my face to her hand. There were periods of silence.

I doubt there would have been silence if you were licking her ass. She was clearly uncomfortable by your action, and putting up with it.

I ran my fingers through her hand and ran my fingers along the back of her neck

You may as well have been licking her ass as she was clearly uncomfortable. After obvious signs of disinterest, you continued.

I laid my head in her lap and she ran her fingers through my hair.

Also known as "Pity Petting"

She said that she would stay awake until I decided to go to bed.

Probably so you wouldn't fvck her while she was sleeping.

She said that she likes to be friends with a guy before gets involved or something along those lines.

Read the DJ Bible. It RARELY happens like that.

I already don't want to lose her.

That's funny, because YOU NEVER HAD HER.

 

[Brainman]

Originally posted by noisy_cricket
T She said that she is generally into those skinny, geeky guys...

Score one for the skinny geekey guys!:crackup:

-BM

 

[noisy_cricket]

Well, she practically ignored me today. So you all are right in that she thinks i am a complete fvkign loser.

thanks for confronting me on how much of a f'cup i am.

 

[noisy_cricket]

What should I do now?

I was going to hang out with her today, but she hardly spoke a word to me... wow. I assume that I shouldn't be surprised.

 

[johnnyrem]

You're hopeless.

Don't behave that way with a chick ever again. That is, if you want a girlfriend.

Your approach and actions show that you feel unworthy of her attention.

She agrees with your assessment after witnessing your behavior.

Her ignoring you means Get Lost! Take the hint and don't try anything with her any more. Stop trying to contact her.

Learn something from being on this site. Do better next time.