Hey, I am new to this forum, and new to DJing in general. So far I have dabbled and implemented some of the teachings from this forum, and generally speaking, I have enjoyed great results. I am a 27 year old grad student, with 3 LTR's and a few brief hookups as my experience with the world of women; obviously I intend to change that ASAP.
I am having some difficulty with a really attractive undergrad that I knew and asked out about two months ago. Things were going badly after the first date (in terms of her overall response to me), but then I found this forum and decided to take initiative. The change in her response was significant and welcome, but now I wonder if I already did too much damage with my AFC attitude during our first date. For one thing, I didn't touch her the whole date; I talked quite a bit about myself, about religion, and my ex-girlfriend even came up; and I tried calling her three times two days later (to which she didn't respond). After about a week of no contact, I decided to try to experiment and to implement this new DJ approach since I assumed I didn't have anything to lose. As I hinted at before, the results were noticeably positive. For example, instead of asking her if she would go somewhere with me, I told her I was heading somewhere and that I planned on taking her with me (I thnk I saw that in a Senior Fingers thread). Suddenly, I seemed to renew her interest, and she agrees to go out again.
Here's where it gets frustrating again. I asked her to go with me last weekend, but she said that w/ finals week coming up, she would rather we postponed until she returned from a two day trip after her finals. I made the mistake of not confirming the exact day we would go out and just told her to call me when she got back into town. I assumed she knew we would go out on Friday, but she called me Thursday evening just as I was leaving somewhere and running late. I told her I would call her back tomorrow (Friday) morning. I expected to be on a second date with this really attractive girl this evening, but when I called to set it up, she told me that she thought we were meeting last night rather than tonight, and that she already had plans to have dinner with “someone” tonight. She countered for this afternoon or tomorrow afternoon, but I think I should next her.
We have good conversations, but I may have come off as too AFC during our first date and getting the second date has been excruciatingly difficult. To her credit, I flaked on her just a couple of hours before we intended on leaving on a date two weeks ago, so I can’t say that she has been the sole source of this deferment, but her interest level doesn’t appear very high. Additionally, she never picks up the phone when I call; she always waits until I leave a message and then calls me back. On the other hand, when I try to act casual and tell her that maybe we’ll run into each other sometime, she sounds concerned and will repeat and emphasize the word “maybe,” to let me know that she picked up on it and to suggest that the uncertainty of the phrase bothers her. Is she stringing me along to use me as backup entertainment when her more important plans fall through? I am feeling conflicted because I really want that second date to try out my newfound DJ attitude (and to go out with a really attractive girl), but maybe a true DJ attitude would just consider her nexted. She said she would call tonight after her dinner to find out if I would be available tomorrow afternoon. We attend college together, so after tomorrow she will be back home for the summer, and I won’t see her again until August. Should I allow for a lunch date tomorrow, or just next her in order to give me leverage when she comes back to school in August? Thanks ahead of time.
I am having some difficulty with a really attractive undergrad that I knew and asked out about two months ago. Things were going badly after the first date (in terms of her overall response to me), but then I found this forum and decided to take initiative. The change in her response was significant and welcome, but now I wonder if I already did too much damage with my AFC attitude during our first date. For one thing, I didn't touch her the whole date; I talked quite a bit about myself, about religion, and my ex-girlfriend even came up; and I tried calling her three times two days later (to which she didn't respond). After about a week of no contact, I decided to try to experiment and to implement this new DJ approach since I assumed I didn't have anything to lose. As I hinted at before, the results were noticeably positive. For example, instead of asking her if she would go somewhere with me, I told her I was heading somewhere and that I planned on taking her with me (I thnk I saw that in a Senior Fingers thread). Suddenly, I seemed to renew her interest, and she agrees to go out again.
Here's where it gets frustrating again. I asked her to go with me last weekend, but she said that w/ finals week coming up, she would rather we postponed until she returned from a two day trip after her finals. I made the mistake of not confirming the exact day we would go out and just told her to call me when she got back into town. I assumed she knew we would go out on Friday, but she called me Thursday evening just as I was leaving somewhere and running late. I told her I would call her back tomorrow (Friday) morning. I expected to be on a second date with this really attractive girl this evening, but when I called to set it up, she told me that she thought we were meeting last night rather than tonight, and that she already had plans to have dinner with “someone” tonight. She countered for this afternoon or tomorrow afternoon, but I think I should next her.
We have good conversations, but I may have come off as too AFC during our first date and getting the second date has been excruciatingly difficult. To her credit, I flaked on her just a couple of hours before we intended on leaving on a date two weeks ago, so I can’t say that she has been the sole source of this deferment, but her interest level doesn’t appear very high. Additionally, she never picks up the phone when I call; she always waits until I leave a message and then calls me back. On the other hand, when I try to act casual and tell her that maybe we’ll run into each other sometime, she sounds concerned and will repeat and emphasize the word “maybe,” to let me know that she picked up on it and to suggest that the uncertainty of the phrase bothers her. Is she stringing me along to use me as backup entertainment when her more important plans fall through? I am feeling conflicted because I really want that second date to try out my newfound DJ attitude (and to go out with a really attractive girl), but maybe a true DJ attitude would just consider her nexted. She said she would call tonight after her dinner to find out if I would be available tomorrow afternoon. We attend college together, so after tomorrow she will be back home for the summer, and I won’t see her again until August. Should I allow for a lunch date tomorrow, or just next her in order to give me leverage when she comes back to school in August? Thanks ahead of time.